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    Is Anybody Out There?

    I have fallen off the wagon and cannot get up,, I have been sober for a long time,, it seems, but maybe not to others.. what I am saying is I just have wine on Saturday night, but had a mixed drink with my husband last Saturday. That triggered something,,Now I am on day six of drinking quite heavily..I am definitely confused as I have missed a weeks worth of work because of it. I have autoimmune syndrome and colitis, so I have told my husband that I am ill, which he is used to hearing.. I am desperate for answers.. I am loosing my mind. I have already drank half a bottle of wine this morning, woke up at 2:00 and polished off the brandy.. should I go to the hospital? Also taking muscle relaxers to ease the pain, which is not good. My son is getting married in three weeks, and I have lost two loved ones in this last week, also Bridal shower and Father's Day was a big deal..Is it just all the stuff, or is it just me acting out..Petrified..

    #2
    Is Anybody Out There?

    Shine, you're falling back into the pattern of dealing with stress with AL. I did the same thing. Understanding you CANNOT drink is the first, important thing to deal with. Then, plan how to handle the stress in the future. I'm sure you'll get lots of great pointers from the people here, but those are, IMHO, your starting points.
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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      #3
      Is Anybody Out There?

      Hi Shine on,

      Well then, C'mon, shine on friend. Get back to the real you right now. No whinging, no complaining, just do the job. Do what you have to do, and that is......get sober. You know your path, so get back on it, and DO. Action. You need you, and so does your family.

      You are smart. You are not stupid. Your decision. Go for it.

      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

      Comment


        #4
        Is Anybody Out There?

        Thanks all of you,,I know all that, but when you are in the middle of it, it is hard to find your boot straps, I need to get myself together, I know that, and yes I am having a pity party all on my own..and scared to death.. I just wish there was an easier solution..I can hardly get off the couch... If I could only feel better.. then it would be smooth sailing, but sadly I am still drinking..

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          #5
          Is Anybody Out There?

          Hi, Shine! I am on day seven without wine, and I was drinking a lot to deal with the pain of a love got bad and mental abuse. I never had an issue before I met this person. The only thing I can say is drinking is not one of the options, no matter what is bother you! The only way to stop is to stop. Please find the courage and strength. Nothing is worth ruining your body, and all it is doing is making you feel guilty and out of control.

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            #6
            Is Anybody Out There?

            Yep you are so right,how do you do that?

            I have been drinking all day and keep saying OK this is it, well it is not, how do I do that? right now I keep going to the bathroom, yes this is a great life, what a deal,, I can not stop until the end. My only hope is in God. that he will shine on me and end this madness. I know that sounds crazy but, without hope I am finished, this is really pathetic. I don't remember when it has been so bad,, Geez who would have ever believed this could happen to me, and then the pity starts in and then the blame and so on and so on....

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              #7
              Is Anybody Out There?

              Been there, done that like so many of us. Start with today and what you want for your life. You won't change life but you can change you. Start with pouring it out and taking it out of the house. It sure helped me get on a better path--my path is not perfect but much improved--my life is still drama but I deal with it much differently than a year ago. Just believe in you and where you wish you were and take those immediate steps... I've moved from acute to chronic and doing my best to get where I want to be.
              Psalms 119:45


              ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

              St. Francis of Assisi



              I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

              :rays:

              Comment


                #8
                Is Anybody Out There?

                rubywillow;1136192 wrote: Shine, you're falling back into the pattern of dealing with stress with AL. I did the same thing. Understanding you CANNOT drink is the first, important thing to deal with. Then, plan how to handle the stress in the future. I'm sure you'll get lots of great pointers from the people here, but those are, IMHO, your starting points.
                I agree. You need to take AL off the table completely. If possible have your husband not have any AL in the house at least for awhile. Also tell your husband that your done drinking, when I told my mom of my plan, it was like something was lifted off my shoulder and I learned that by announcing it to everyone that I knew should know that I quit drinking, that it has been easier to refrain from drinking. It is still tough at times, but I don't want to let my friends and family down. That is why I struggled so much and failed so much in the past, I tried to do it alone and only letting you all know. You need to concentrate on being sober and learn that when times are stressful, turning to AL isn't the answer. You can do all of the things that you have to do in the next few weeks sober. Just take the AL off the table and relearn how to deal with the stresses of life without AL. AL is nothing but trouble. I know how you feel,I had a rough night on Monday night and I wanted to drink, but I didn't. You can to give up the booze for good.
                I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

                Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

                Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Is Anybody Out There?

                  Hi Shine
                  You have a huge amount of things going on in your life right now and you seem to be self medicating to ease the load, which unfortunately won't work. You should not mix muscle relaxants with alcohol either, ends up in a bad result. Lots of encouragement and good advice here. We have all been down that same road, believe it or not. You can and WILL succeed. First of all get rid of the booze out of the house. Have you been able to confide in your medical practitioner at all, they are a great help and will give you the encouragement and (maybe medication) to help you through this, (I confided in my MP and he gave me Naltrexone). I get the feeling that you are also suffering extreme depression which again can be helped by confiding in your MP and possibly taking medication for the depression. Remember today is the first day of the rest of your life. Be confident in yourself and your ability to conquer this demon we all share here. It's certainly not easy at all, but nothing is in this life, because if we really want it. then we sure as hell have to work bloody hard for it. We are Master of our own Destinies and as such even though we don't think we can do it, you will be surprised that you can and will. Look around the boards here and all the success stories, let them be an inspiration to you. But, please do not give up on yourself and please believe you are the most important person in your life, which in turn will help you reach your goals and help not only you but all your loved ones as well. Feel free to PM me if you would like, I will do all I can to help you as will everyone else here. Take care and Love and Sunshine Always Kaza xx
                  Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr:l:l

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Is Anybody Out There?

                    Shine on,

                    After that brilliant post by Kaza, and everyone else, what have you got to lose? What?

                    Pride? Health? Happiness? Can you feel worse? Anything more to lose?.........No.

                    Will you feel less comfortable ditching the booze? Nup.

                    Will you feel more scared giving up grog? Might seem so, but another BIG nope there.

                    Will you feel more anxious and scared? Nope.

                    Will you feel more depressed and helpless/hopeless? Sorry, Nope.

                    Will you feel good? Yep.

                    But how to get there?

                    Put one foot in front of the other. Walk out the door every day, and take action. It all start's with the first step friend, and you can do it.

                    Greg.

                    'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                    Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Is Anybody Out There?

                      Hi shine on. How are you today? Like all the others - I can totally relate to that place where you are desparate to stop but feel like you can't.

                      I had to stop isolating and trying to hide it. I can't do this alone. If posting here is not enough, can you be honest with your husband and ask for his help? In my experience, secrecy is huge enemy. It didn't work very well for me to come here and be honest, but then try to keep ducking and hiding things in my most important relationship at home.

                      That is what came to mind anyway, as I read your post. Lots of good suggestions here - I hope something clicks for you. AL is not the answer to life's problems - that's for sure. (which you already know!)

                      Strength and hope to you..

                      DG
                      Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                      Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                      One day at a time.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Is Anybody Out There?

                        Agree with Doggygirl--tell your husband you're having a problem--get it out in the open. Hiding it just makes it harder to stop--I know. The alcohol is just going to make all the stress worse and you need a level head to deal with it.

                        Be strong, I'm pulling for you!

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