Other People

[Newyear]

Other People

Hi marcie!! Haven't seen you in awhile. Happy you are here and sounds like you are doing well.

Hi Cad: Can't add a whole lot to what others have said here. I think when I first started I was quite worried about this too. What I have found is that most people are more worried about what they are, or are not, drinking than what you are doing.
I think offering someone a drink is just something to say. Social situations are not easy for the majority of folks so this is just like saying 'how are you?' ... 'would you like a drink?'

The answer is not always all that important. You can say 'Sure, I'd love a gingerale'
If a person is very pushy about you drinking....lots of 'cmon have just one'. Just think....there is a good chance that this person has a problem themselves with alcohol.
Just try to excuse yourself or change the subject.

Again, putting yourself in fewer situations that involve drinking helps immensely also.

I was in a situation last night with an open bar. I went to the bar and said - 'can I please have a diet coke?" The bartender poured one for me. No one asked me what I was drinking. Not one person.

Hey - Best of luck to you on starting this journey. Read lots and take care of You.

And Barb>>>>>Love the chocolate line!!!

Lisa

[vinophile]

Other People

Great Advice Marcie!!!!nice to see you again.
I think in one of Betty Ford's books she wrote " if you don't want to slip don't walk down a slippery road"
It's not always easy advice to follow but those who have been sober for a while know it's a rule we must follow.
Good luck

Janet

[lushy]

Other People

Ugh Lisa, you just made me cringe. I am guilty of almost badgering people into drinking with me because I do not want to be the only one getting buzzed. I have been known to question and question, "I am curious, how come you do not drink?" Shut up already!!!!!!!!!!!! I agree that people who badger usually have an issue with drinking themselves and do not want to stand out. I remember last year when I was trying to cut way back I went to a friend's house for a play date with our kids. We ALWAYS would bring wine to the pool. It was the "cool" thing to do, right? (another ugh!!!). I showed up with diet Coke and told her I did not want any wine. She was so pissed at me that it changed the dynamic of the whole play date. Now that I have gotten to know her better I know why. She is an alcoholic as well and did not want to be alone in her drinking.

A new goal for me. Never question why someone does or does not want a drink. Period.

[Guest]

Other People

the bottom line for me

If I refuse a drink for any reason--the person may wonder if I have a drinking problem.

If I take the drink because I don't want the person to think I have a drinking problem- I risk drinking too much--and then that person and everyone else there KNOWS I have a drinking problem.

I would much rather leave them wondering--rather than give them good hard proof that I am an alcoholic.
Also, after refusing a drink I never regret anything I have said or done. No headache, no queasy stomach, no guilt, no remorse....all things that make it worth it to have the person "think" I have a drinking problem.

Kim

[Going Strong]

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One thing I do say now is "Sorry darlin I can't have 1, I want 25 I actually said this at a Tupperware Party and not one person showed a reaction! So Weird except I felt empowered! Just state it like it's a fact like an allergy (which it could be)
GOOD LUCK!

[roguehawkfan]

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Personally I find power in people knowing I have a drinking problem. Because they see that I am aware of it and am doing someting about it and trying to better my life. My wife and I were talking just yesterday and I mentioned that while I havent won the battle yet, I dont have to figure out where i`m gonna hide the empties anymore. I got pretty frickin creative I gotta say. Not somethng to be proud of to say the least!!

Thats just my take on it anyway..Rogue

[Hawk]

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Oh Rogue......The places I hid things......

[cad]

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thanks everyone for your thoughts on this....sorry its been so long to thank you all i did a bit of backsliding for a week. and the last week has just been chaos...with other things going on had my holiday cancelled and have been looking after my mother for a week who i was going with...she is devastated. anyway have a great christmas everone.

[pansy]

Other People

I think after a while, new people come into your life and it becomes less of a problem. Newer people don't always expect you to be a drinker. I guess there are some people who simply don't have a taste for the stuff!

Pans

[Cashregister]

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"I'm on heavy duty antibiotics" works, if not "i'm on a diet". There are so many excuses - but I think the time comes when you just say you don't feel like it, or you don't drink. This does not necessarily mean you have a problem anymore - these days it usually just means you don't drink, like you don't smoke - you're more likely to be thought of a one of those "sensible, healthy people" - what a stigma

Cashy
xx