How things have turned around for me

[pompeyman]

Hi ..... haven't been on for a while but my life has improved considerably since my last post. Thought i would write some stuff down about my experience of recovery in case it is of any help to anyone ...... new or stuggling. For me there has been no sudden revelation or one particular method that has put the brakes on my drinking big time. As explained before I was a daily drinker for over 30 years. My life has fallen apart beyond recognition. What has happened has taken many years jumping from recovery method to recovery method, AA, CBT, counselling, psychiatrists, Forums such as this one, alternative self help groups to AA, Buddhism, Humanism, naltrexone, hospital detoxes, campral, retreats, anti-depressants ...... I think thats about the lot!!!!! What has happened is this. I resigned from my teaching post last August. I felt that if I didnt fully concentrate on recovery (plus i was about to lose my job) then i was never going to turn my life round and end up dead probably choking on my own vomit ....... this was the closest I got to dying when I realised I was breathing in sick and I couldnt breath and be sick at the same time. What has happened is that all of the attempts ive made to stop in the last 10 years or so each seem to have planted something in my psyche. While none of them "worked" alone practising each of them seems to have let an imprint which forms part of an ever changing, fluid, tapestry of thoughts behaviours and emotions with regard to my alcohol abuse. Problem is I had to go through that 10 years of additional hell and loss as I "rehearsed" each of the recovery strategies for periods of time. Plus, I didn't know that that was what I was doing!! I just thought that I kept failing each time I focused only on one "Way Out" exclusively. For example ...... today is day 8 AF. i will probably have a drink next week as I am going out with some mates. I take bits of CBT to plaan for this ....... i find a daily plan invaluable ..... from CBT and AA. i will write down what i am grateful for .... from AA, CBT and RET. I will use medication if it seems to be helping. One revelation is that since I have been taking sertraline (an SSRI anti-depressant) my desire for al has really reduced ..... since discovering this as a by product of taking it I have googled it and there is quite a lot of evidence that there is a link between reduction in Al and taking SSRIs. i have found an incredibly supportive Dr who accepts I have more experience/knowledge about this disorder than he does and he, within reason, allows me to construct my own programme ..... different to a prev doc who said "i dont know what you expect the NHS to do for you .... ". Sorry to go on and I'll stop there but its a been a long road and i think the main thing is I kept trying (and retrying!) many of the recovery techniques not knowing why I was doing it at the time ........... but something has happened ...... they seem to have interacted in some way ...... a new Gestalt!!! ("The whole is greater than the sum of it's parts"). So I guess what I'm saying is even if something feels like its not working, it might be different this time next year when you have experienced somthing else which then in some way interacts with the thing that didn't work before !!!!!!! Nothing is a waste of time if you are doing it with recovery as your aim. Take care and Panno thankyou again :thanks:

[techie]

How things have turned around for me

Hello there Pompeyman. Look time no speak. You do sound wonderful. I'm so happy to hear things are clicking for you. I've missed you on the boards and was gladdened to see your post. PLEASE keep us in mind as you continue on your journey of recovery!!!

Techie

[spuddleduck]

How things have turned around for me

good to hear from you pompeyman.. thanks for letting us know how youre getting on. sounds like your in a pretty good place... really pleased for you

[Doggygirl]

How things have turned around for me

WOO HOO!!! :yougo::yougo::yougo: Congratulations Pompeyman on finding your way out. I'm so glad you shared your story. I'm so glad you never gave up. I'm so glad you kept trying everything. Mostly I'm so glad you got your life back!!!!!

DG

[daisy45]

How things have turned around for me

What a great message to all those that 'slip' and are ashamed to come back here or feel they should 'give up'! Try, try and try again. There is always a lesson to carry with you to the next time........:thanks: so much for this.