Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I don't get it

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
    #1

    I don't get it

    my husband says the words that he is supportive of me dealing with THE FACT that I am an alcoholic but I would disagree. Today he left to play golf and came home an hour late with the "I lost track of time" excuse. He took our dog for a walk and came home late even though our son was waiting for him to go see the fireworks. He admitted he is scared of all the changes I am facing a few weeks ago and I thought we had talked and agreed that if I was going to live I had to deal with this. So maybe he doesn't want me to live??
    Wow. I just want to get better, and I want my partner to want that for me too.
    Tags: None
    #2
    I don't get it

    MH, a lot of couples suffer similar experiences. It seems one partner has gotten used to being the 'steady' one, who can get away with more because they tolerate the drinking behavior of the other. Suddenly,
    all the rules change, and they're not sure where they stand with a sober person in their lives again. Keep the talk going, and let him know you want to hear about his feelings too.
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

    Comment

      #3
      I don't get it

      Hang in there MissHazel. :l I am sure that he wants you to get better. But, I think it is probably scary for him too. I know from my own personal experience that I have had to make some choices to think about ME first. So, your husband is probably dealing with things changing and maybe scared of the unknown.
      Try to keep the lines of communication open. And, be sure to keep coming here. :h
      "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
      ..........
      AF - 7-27-15

      Comment

        #4
        I don't get it

        Ruby Willow and NoraC,
        I have never in my life been surrounded by such sweet and supportive people...people I don't even know. I am truly grateful and happy I found this place.

        Comment

          #5
          I don't get it

          MH, I see you and I share the same "Mood indicator" Like others have said, keep comming in here(I really like seeing that little yellow smiley face with word SOBER)


          I am sure your hubby will come around, it might be just as scary for him as it is for you, it is new to both of you.

          Hang in there, and keep that little yellow guy smiling..........:goodjob:
          Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




          DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

          Comment

            #6
            I don't get it

            I guess the bottom line is that we have to want this ultimately for ourselves, but I'm sure your husband wants you to be well! I agree that it will be scary for him as well and there will be changes during the transition to you getting sober. Keep talking but don't let his current state impact on what you are trying to do. You have to own your own stuff and vice versa. You can be supportive, loving and caring but right now YOU are the one that needs the most attention. You are the one dealing with a dangerous illness and YOU need some 'chicken soup for the soul'. When I decided to get sober I was in a relationship where my partner never even noticed if I was hammered - go figure! I'm not a person who likes a lot of support or attention and just got on with what had to be done! No biggie. So, when I did get sober there was a lot I noticed about how my life was - or more to the point, wasn't. I lost 'friends' along the way because they didn't know me as a sober person and I'm not sorry about the 'loss'. I must say that once sober there were a whole lot of people I just didn't want to bother with. When you battle a journey like this one 'real life' counts and I only want what is real and reciprocal in relationships these days - family included. Women nurture very differently to men too - it's a fact of life. I have a little saying that I often say to myself when the going gets tough, and it is this - it is as it is. Unless you can change the result or influence a change it is just that - as it is! You have done a bloody amazing job so far, and hubbie didn't do it for you! He may be supportive and understanding but truly only YOU did it - and it has to be for YOU! In the long run everyone around you will benefit from the new improved YOU. I'm certain he cares - he's got his stuff to sort out and own but maybe he needs a gentle reminder of that. :h
            It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
            Mother Theresa

            Comment

              #7
              I don't get it

              Nice life,
              If you're not a writer you should be!,My husband's Mother was an alcoholic so I am sure that plays a part in his behavior. I have such guilt about that because I know what he went through as a child and then I came along...I hope you d
              Had a great 4th...do you celebrate in Australia?

              Comment

                #8
                I don't get it

                Ah! There you go - he has 'baggage' associated with this illness/situation. He'd be struggling too. It seems that there is a lot happening in your cubby hole right now and it must feel like it will never be 'normal' or get sorted. Hang in there. When my kids were little they would want to mash their icecream in their bowls to make it runny but it was hard for them to do - especially with their tiny little hands. Instead of me mixing it for all of them I had an icecream mashing lesson and the first thing I said was this - break it into sizes you can handle then start to mash. This methodology may work in your case - LOL!!! Step by step MissHazel - pieces you can handle....

                We don't celebrate 4th July here really. I used to work for an American and did then, not since though and that was a hundred years ago. I did think of you all yesterday!
                It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
                Mother Theresa

                Comment

                  #9
                  I don't get it

                  I haven't asked about you. You mentioned you were AF for 6 hrs and then back to the roller coaster. How are you today?

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I don't get it

                    Hey Nelz,
                    I will be hoping for your 100 day mark...just one more month! Thanks for your reply. I plan to keep my stupid little smiley face!!
                    MH

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I don't get it

                      I'm doing ok. I joined MWO in 2005 and was completely sober until about six months ago. Why I decided to take that first sip is just utterly beyond me..... I've been struggling ever since that first sip too!! I'm not drinking anywhere near what I was way back then, but I just don't want to drink at all. I'm taking Campral and mostly manage to be AF but have only managed a complete week AF here and there. I'm on day 5 today and feel really positive and strong so here's hoping I'm done and dusted. I just want AL out of my life again. I don't want the wrestle with my head anymore. For all those years it was never even a thought. Who knows what happened..... Anyway, pieces I can handle and mash!!!!! :H
                      It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
                      Mother Theresa

                      Comment

                        #12
                        I don't get it

                        Ok..nice life. You get extra days for your "done and dusted" comment. I love it and will be thinking about you on your day number 6.. Only the size pieces you can mash right.?..by the way, I love ice cream.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          I don't get it

                          Thanks MissHazel!!! i need all the extra days I can get... Yep, only mashable sizes allowed in my world! So, next time you want to 'surf an urge' have a bowl of ice cream! I make a pot of tea at the moment. It is winter here of course, a today is cold and very, very windy day.
                          It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
                          Mother Theresa

                          Comment

                            #14
                            I don't get it

                            So tomorrow I wish for you sunshine and not so much wind!!! You are in my thoughts nice life.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              I don't get it

                              Ditto MissHazel. I hope that things feel a bit easier for you all soon. Big hugs, Amanda.
                              It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
                              Mother Theresa

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...
                              X