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    #16
    I don't get it

    Here's what I'll say - "Miss Hazel & "Nice Life" sure seem to know what they are talking about and seem to offer sound support. I was here about a year ago -- did well, dropped out of site & then my dad died in March (which for me was a bigger loss than I was prepared for . . . ) so I used the excuse to drink again. Here I am. Need to quit. Have cut back, but the addiction part of me is exhibiting itself in new ways since the death . . . wierd .. .didn't think it was possible for me to have new lessons, but I guess it i quit EVERYTHING - I probably will have to deal with torture. . . .

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      #17
      I don't get it

      Hello Funny Girl - I'm so very sorry for your loss! It is just awful to lose a parent. The addiction creature who lives inside us is a tricky beast for sure, and I think life is a continuous lesson. For me, it is absolute torture to wrestle this every day. I know that for me, if I do get all the way back to where I was there will be zero torture. Life will 'happen' until the end, but dealing with 'stuff' is SO much harder when I'm boozed and trying to claw my way out of a pit of despair, chaos and utter madness. I can't speak for anyone else, I just tell how it is/has been for me.
      It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
      Mother Theresa

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        #18
        I don't get it

        I sent you a private message

        I'm sure we'll chat - thanks for the sentiment - I do know abou torture & I think you do too. I feel that you understand this stuff (not sure why) but, your writings indicat that you have empathy & knowledge . . . Talk soon - sleep well.

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          #19
          I don't get it

          I hope your sleep is filled with sweet dreams! Take good care.
          It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
          Mother Theresa

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            #20
            I don't get it

            MissHazel;1141714 wrote: my husband says the words that he is supportive of me dealing with THE FACT that I am an alcoholic but I would disagree. Today he left to play golf and came home an hour late with the "I lost track of time" excuse. He took our dog for a walk and came home late even though our son was waiting for him to go see the fireworks. He admitted he is scared of all the changes I am facing a few weeks ago and I thought we had talked and agreed that if I was going to live I had to deal with this. So maybe he doesn't want me to live??
            Wow. I just want to get better, and I want my partner to want that for me too.
            :new: hey miss hazel... I dated a man whose wife was a severe alcoholic and eventually drowned drunk in their spa when he was late one night.. I met him 8 months after her tragic death and learnt a lot about how he thought..I found it very hard having a drinking issue myself becauase he encouraged it. I have studying psychology a bit and there are lots of books about "enablers" out there..Might be an idea to go see a pscychologist together of separately.. otherwise your marriage may suffer where, with a bit of insight, you guys can make it through together..
            That said.. I am battling this wretched AL all alone..today is (yet another) day 2 AF.. I can manage 2-3 a week... but then over drink as a reward..
            I want to be well and have my time back...and feel healthy.. I have only recently found this group and it feels great...

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