Really?

[MissHazel]

My husband & I have been struggling since I chose to join here and deal with my alcoholism. Tonight he told me that he thought we would be fine as long as I didn't cheat on him! Wow like one has anything to do with the other. I would think being a drunk would cause him more reason to worry...about cheating, about everything! I am having a hard enough time taking care of myself right now and I resent having to worry about this...I never even leave the house except for work (with my husband) and grocery shopping and the gym( with my husband)...WOW...how about being happy and supportive that I am trying to be healthy and live a longer life

[Irie]

Really?

This is where I struggle too. My husband is an alcoholic, so I think he is more comfortable when I (we) are drinking. Does your husband drink? Maybe he's scared everything is going to change. I think my husband supports my decision to stop drinking until it gets right down to it, and he realizes he wants his drinking buddy. He does everything to let me off the hook. I don't think he realizes that's not what I want.

[Barbara1234]

Really?

Hi Miss Hazel,

That doesn't make sense to me either. Did he think he had more control over you when you were drinking? Does he drink a lot?
It may be just that he is anticipating something bigger than it is, and he is freaking himself out.
I hope this doesn't push you back into drinking.
Sometimes the spouse is just afraid of any kind of change to the normal relationship. Just give him time and include him in your progress.
This whole business is a lot of work and change is scary for all of us. It is something that you will need his support with, so I hope you guys can find a middle ground.
How are you doing with it by the way? Maybe let him navigate around the MWO site and see how much of a struggle this is and how we all need each other to cope with all of the changes.
Stay strong!

[MissHazel]

Really?

Hi Irie,
i wish I could say he did drink...but he doesn't. His Mother was a serious alcoholic so he has all the signs of a child of an alcoholic. I feel guilty because I am an alcoholic too. He is afraid of losing what he has grown to be comfortable with.

[Irie]

Really?

I guess bottom line is that like it or not we are making big changes in our husband's lives that they didn't ask for. For myself, I feel like I need to be particularly selfish right now and put most of my energy into beating the alcohol monster. It's caused some rocky spots in my normally easy going marriage. Some days my husband is proud of me, others I feel like he's trying to sabotage me. I hope our marriage survives this struggle, but I already know that given the choice I would choose a life free of alcohol over our marriage. That's stunning to me, because we are really very happy together, but I have to get free of this addiction and it scares me how much alcohol is a part of both of our lives, and always has been.

It sounds like your husband may be trying to be supportive of you. He just has a very awkward way of saying it.

[MissHazel]

Really?

Hi Sheri,
I did have a conversation with him. This has been such a difficult thing for me that I probably have been neglecting him, and he senses that. Ironic isn't it? That he feels neglected when I'm NOT drinking! I think he is worried I am going to connect with someone who shares my addiction...Thank you for your insight...sometimes all you have to do is talk!