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    #1

    Paranoia personality change

    I have been reflecting a lot on the changes that have I have experienced since stopping drinking. One of the large, and wonderful changes, is that my real true, personality is returning. This personality is comfortable to talk and joke in all situations, is comfortable to be himself, to laugh out loud, to not worry about what others think.

    It seems that a paronoia must have set in, because of my drinking. Because I didn't want people to know how much I had been drinking, I think I tended to not talk as much as I would have. Also, somehow, my confidence was slowly getting diluted, which lead to self doubt, and a need to drink more to feel confident. Always having to chew gum, and try to hide my beer breath, to hide my addiction, lead to a change in my personlity.

    I laugh more now. I am able to state my opinion, firmly if need be at times, and not second guess myself - because I am sober. My brain is working again, like I never thought it would. My memory, and lexicon have returned. Using my brain is part of who I really am, and I was pickling it. I was turning my brain to mush. It is so nice to have my quick processing thoughts back.

    So, here are a few more reasons to go sober, if you need some to help sway you. I never realised that this would happen if I went sober. It takes time though. Nothing happens over night.

    Take care my friends,
    Hill
    Sober since Feb 7, 2010.
    Tags: None
    #2
    Paranoia personality change

    Great post Hill. I can relate to all of it. The viscious circle of paranoia, the hiding, etc. All of it. Life is so much better now. You are right - I am learning to be myself and learning not to worry about what other people think. If I am doing my best to live right and do the right things, then what others think doesn't matter.

    DG
    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

    One day at a time.

    Comment

      #3
      Paranoia personality change

      Hi Hill, Doggygirl,

      I can totally relate to what you are saying. I went to a July 4th party on the river, which scared me to death. I didn't drink. I came with seltzer water in a blue cup so I guess everyone thought I had AL in it. After several hours, I noticed that I was laughing and having a great time AF!
      I was so scared that I couldn't have fun without AL but I surprised myself.
      I too hid the massive amounts that I drank, and remember having to consciously try not to act drunk. What a waste of my time and $$$$....
      THOUGHTS become THINGS
      choose the GOOD       ones!

      AF since 5/22/11 :boxer: Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.............

      Comment

        #4
        Paranoia personality change

        Great post Hill and congratulations on turning around the mental downhill (no pun intended!) slide! I also realized I am somewhat paranoid when drinking as when I went AF, occasionally people would ask me something or talk about a conversation we'd had and I wouldn't have any memory of it. For a split second I'd have that panicky feeling of wondering what I said or did and how could I cover up whatever it was I didn't know or recall, and then I'd realize that I had been sober and just didn't remember something. No big deal. Nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide. The relief was/is always huge.

        You're an inspiration.
        Bean

        Comment

          #5
          Paranoia personality change

          Love reading your post Hillsidetime,
          I can so relate and understand what you are saying about laughing, going back about 3wks ago someone said to me that i have changed i looked puzzled and said how have i changed, he said that when i laugh now i dont put my hands over my mouth. I did not realize that anyone notice. I thought i covered it up so well, but he also said that it looked like i was not sure weather i should be laughing or not. So yes today i also do feel comfortable in laughing and also crying i use to hold that one back trying not to show any emotions. Poeple used to come up to me and say it ok to cry and show how you feel you know....
          I remember my first AA meeting i was 2wks sober, must of been so paranoid because when i got home had to get ready for work guess what the person that took the meeting was in my work place with another member of the fellowship try to say hello to me from a distance but i duck down thinking they could not see me...lol, i really thought that they followed me home and to work thinking to myself.... thats it... there going to be on my case forever now !!!
          And i can still get paranoid today, but that is all to do with fear for me, am learning about myself today and accepting who i am today, like you said, this does not happen over night it takes time.

          It is soooooo goooooood that when we look back that we can see the changes in ourseleves.

          Thank you for your post.

          Catch22.x
          Formerly known as Teardrop:l
          sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
          my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !

          Comment

            #6
            Paranoia personality change

            Great post Hill,
            I'm happy for you & I feel the same way. I love no longer having a reason to second guess myself. I love knowing for sure that other people's problem are their problems & not something that I may have caused.

            This is true freedom

            Lav
            AF since 03/26/09
            NF since 05/19/09
            Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

            Comment

              #7
              Paranoia personality change

              Love this post Hillside and so true.

              These are great reasons for staying sober and battling any temptations.

              Cheers

              Damo
              Still trying !!!
              AF 25th June2014

              Comment

                #8
                Paranoia personality change

                Great post hillside time,

                My whole personality changed from being very aggressive to being more patience and understanding, as others have said another fantastic reason to stop drinking.


                :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Paranoia personality change

                  Thanks Hill it's good to read posts like this, i had heard it can take up to 2 years to become the person you once were before drinking took over , my personality has changed so much for the better in the last 6 months but it's good to hear there is more to come.MM
                  AF 5/jan/2011

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Paranoia personality change

                    Awesome post. Thanks for this. It made me smile and I really need that today!
                    February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

                    When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

                    Comment

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