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    Excuses for not drinking

    I have to go away for a weekend at the end of July and am already dreading what to say when I don't want a drink at dinner. The people we are going with are pretty big drinkers and we have always had drinks with them.

    It seems like alcohol is the only drug (legal or not) that you almost feel embarassed to refuse. By that I mean if you don't drink with people, it's like you've admitted "I'm out of control and I can't drink". I am really sensitive to what people think of me and people I know would never suspect I have a drinking problem.

    A heroin addict or even a smoker are applauded and encouraged if they want to stop. It seems if a drinker wants to stop, he or she is labeled as that poor out of control alcoholic. Sometimes I really wish the attitude toward drinking was like the attitude toward smoking. Smoking was cool and great during the "Mad Men" days, but the attitude has really changed over just a few decades. Wouldn't that be great.

    #2
    Excuses for not drinking

    Oh, Looking - I remember posting the very same question! I was so anxious, and I didn't want to tell people the full story. It's a toughie, cause some people can be quite persistent.

    I got a lot of advice - some people say that they're on antibiotics, or some other medical reason. Some say they're allergic. I started by saying that my hangovers were sooooo bad that it wasn't worth it - heavy drinkers will usually at least understand this one What I found really shut people up when asked why I wasn't drinking, was I'd say "it was making me really unhappy - I'm happier without it." I've yet to meet someone to argue with that one! Now, people don't ask me, and if I meet new people, I just say that I don't drink. And my boyfriend pointed out to me that I don't have to explain myself to anyone - it's no ones business but my own.

    Ukblonde made a great point to me at the time - that I'm an adult, and I choose what I put in my own body, I am in charge of myself and I alone decide what's best for me. And it's no one else's business. Remember that the people who give you most hassle are nearly always the one's who are uncomfortable with their own drinking/who drink too much. I actually avoid certain people now in the evenings, I'll meet them for tea in the afternoon but I won't meet them at night cause they annoy me too much by hassling me

    Best of luck and have a great time xx
    AF since 13th July 2010
    NF since 5th July 2010

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      #3
      Excuses for not drinking

      Here are some excuses that you could use.

      No thanks I don't drink anymore.
      No thanks I am the designated driver.
      No thanks I am on meds and I can't drink on the meds.
      No thanks I don't want to drink.
      I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

      Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

      Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

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        #4
        Excuses for not drinking

        Looking for Peace you are so right about people having a negative reaction instead of being supportive. I'm only on day 2 but was asked to go out tonight by drinking buddies at work. Said no thanks I'm on a diet until I lose this 20lbs. Hopefully that will get me through the short term without any additional drama or explanations.

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          #5
          Excuses for not drinking

          neart,
          You sound just like me
          It really is no one's business & you don't have to explain yourself. I say no thanks & change the topic. Plenty of people know that I don't drink anymore but plenty don't know yet, it's none of their business. We're all adults & it's just stupid to let someone pressure you......stand up for yourself
          AF since 03/26/09
          NF since 05/19/09
          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

          Comment


            #6
            Excuses for not drinking

            I went through this and still do

            I say "I don't drink right now" and when I get asked why I say I'd set myself a personal challenge to stop for a week, and it turned into 2 weeks then a month. Now I'm hitting 4 months tomorrow. OFC only my closest friends know why I gave up and why I won't be drinking for some time, if not ever again
            I have a drink problem, I have been AF since 15 March 2011 and I am working hard to stay that way

            They don't call me Pingu Purple Pants for nothing....

            Comment


              #7
              Excuses for not drinking

              neart;1147218 wrote: Oh, Looking - I remember posting the very same question! I was so anxious, and I didn't want to tell people the full story. It's a toughie, cause some people can be quite persistent.

              I got a lot of advice - some people say that they're on antibiotics, or some other medical reason. Some say they're allergic. I started by saying that my hangovers were sooooo bad that it wasn't worth it - heavy drinkers will usually at least understand this one What I found really shut people up when asked why I wasn't drinking, was I'd say "it was making me really unhappy - I'm happier without it." I've yet to meet someone to argue with that one! Now, people don't ask me, and if I meet new people, I just say that I don't drink. And my boyfriend pointed out to me that I don't have to explain myself to anyone - it's no ones business but my own.

              Ukblonde made a great point to me at the time - that I'm an adult, and I choose what I put in my own body, I am in charge of myself and I alone decide what's best for me. And it's no one else's business. Remember that the people who give you most hassle are nearly always the one's who are uncomfortable with their own drinking/who drink too much. I actually avoid certain people now in the evenings, I'll meet them for tea in the afternoon but I won't meet them at night cause they annoy me too much by hassling me

              Best of luck and have a great time xx
              Hey Neart, just thought I'd take a peek in here and glad I said something useful at some point. Yes you don't have to drink if you don't want to, just as you don't have to eat a cake because you don't like the flavouring.

              Recently with my use of meds I have been in drinking situations where I can join in, but really do not want any more than one glass, I truly do not want any more and it's almost definitely held other 'normal' drinkers back, as well as possibly make them feel uncomfortable.

              I think part of it is recognising that you really do not want to drink, once you have done (via whatever method you chose) a lot of the fear is removed - because you simply know what you want.

              Comment


                #8
                Excuses for not drinking

                A few years back I asked someone if they wanted to have a drink when we were at a sporting event. He said no. I asked why, like so many people do. He said he simply doesn't like the way alcohol made him feel. We were 22 years old. I remember it making me think "Really? That must be aweful, he's missing out" Well lookie here lol, now I don't like the way AL makes me feel and that's exactly what I've been telling people when they ask me now. No thanks, I don't like how it makes me feel anymore.
                "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."-- Judy Garland

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                  #9
                  Excuses for not drinking

                  No thanks, I don't drink any more.

                  My opinion of me is way more important than anyone else's opinion of me. I have to look myself in the mirror several times a day, and sleep with myself every night. I'm going to do what helps me to like me, and that means not drinking AL.

                  DG
                  Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                  Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                  One day at a time.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Excuses for not drinking

                    i think its only us people with al problems that have to worry about the reasons. i have a couple of friends who rarely drink, they really just dont like drinking, never have done. its never questioned why they are drinking lemonade or whatever. i guess if we are known as big drinkers, thats when people get pushy.
                    Today is the tomorrow i worried about yesterday and it turned out fine
                    Keep passing the open windows

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