Today is four months AL free for me. I remember my first day sober and thinking I know I am done drinking and at that time I still had my alcohol in the house. The next day I had blood work scheduled and after that my nephew came over and I happily gave him the rest of the alcohol I had. I felt free but anxious. I thought wow could I do this, would I make it to Easter, to my birthday in may. It all seemed so far away and I had no idea how I would make it that long. The counting of days got overwhelming and scary for me because I felt like I was counting down to a certain event instead of concentrating on living in the moment. I decided to mark easier events (months) so I wouldnt have to dwell on it. Early on I was scared about obsessing about thinking about not drinking all the time. I just wanted to live normal and not think about drinking at all. But as time goes by I do think about it less and make a point to keep reminding myself how great I feel in the morning, how I feel now that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want because I am not drunk or hungover, how I can finally drive on the freeway, how I am not full of anxiety all the time now. Sometimes I have the scary thoughts about how great it would be to have a drink and at those times I take the time to play thru the reality of what a drink would do to me and how awful I would feel afterward and the thoughts go away.
I just want to tell you that you can do it, day by day, hour by hour, and sometimes minute by minute. The time goes on no matter what your choices are, why not make the choice to be AL free and live free instead of the catch 22 of choosing to drink, feeling like crap, feeling guilty and then repeating the cycle over and over again. I did that for 10 years. Not one of those days was anywhere near as wonderful as my AL free days. I can appreciate life now and I choose to. Much of this battle is making choices and, when you make the right ones and build on that, your foundation will grow stronger everyday.
Thank you to everyone here for supporting me and I hope you all have a wonderful, happy, sober Sunday!
I just want to tell you that you can do it, day by day, hour by hour, and sometimes minute by minute. The time goes on no matter what your choices are, why not make the choice to be AL free and live free instead of the catch 22 of choosing to drink, feeling like crap, feeling guilty and then repeating the cycle over and over again. I did that for 10 years. Not one of those days was anywhere near as wonderful as my AL free days. I can appreciate life now and I choose to. Much of this battle is making choices and, when you make the right ones and build on that, your foundation will grow stronger everyday.
Thank you to everyone here for supporting me and I hope you all have a wonderful, happy, sober Sunday!
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