What happens to me at about 5 PM???

[sunnyside]

Hi. Okay, I have been to this site off and on for about a year. I quit for a month, even 3 months last summer but then go back. I am a classic wine drinker, female, 48. Love the pour, the sound of the stem on the counter top, the first sip. On average I drink about 2 to 3 glasses 4 or 5 nights a week but have those binge nights every couple of weeks with several more glasses, maybe a cocktail or two mixed in...

I've turned over so many leaves, I could have plucked a whole tree! I hate the way it makes me feel, the expense, the health issues, the weight gain, the looks from my family, the POWERLESSNESS! I wake up, say NO WINE TONIGHT, read some threads, work out, eat right, work productively...

THEN at about 5 pm the alternate me arrives and I don't know where the morning me went. She says "Oh, you're being too hard on yourself, life is too short, enjoy, one glass of wine with dinner won't hurt, just finish that bottle in the fridge, you're doing fine in general... yada yada... So, I have one glass then another, maybe a third... I start slurring, my kids give me looks, I accomplish NOTHING, I go to bed, I wake up with sweats and regrets in the middle of the night, hence back to the morning...

WHO IS THIS PERSON AND WHO IS THE REAL ME???

[RingingCedars]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

Sunnyside-"who is the real me?" is a very good question for many of us. I imagine we stuffed the real me inside when we were kids for various reasons. I guess it is up to us find out why we hid her/him away and to make that child feel safe and loved to surface and spread his/her wings and fly again.

Sounds like you are doing so many good things. Do you take the supplements? L'Glut especially when your "evil" twin comes calling? Tipperlette has started a new 30 stint. I hope you join us.

[mylife]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

Hello Sunnyside,

You wrote my story! I think the hardest part about stopping for us is that there is no real CRISES happening about our drinking YET. We get the looks from family (in my case just husband) and feel like crap for having those glasses of wine the night before, but for the most part we are functioning and therefore it's easy to say at 5pm "Oh one glass won't hurt".

For me what's helping to get through that is that the crappy feeling is turning into a real depression when I drink. When I don't drink I feel like I took an anti-depressant or "happy pill" so it's really making me stop and think about what I really feel like when I have that "one glass" which we know is never just one!

Think back to how good you felt when not drinking for 3 months...hang in there you can quit this!

Good luck with your journey!

[Bruunhilde]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

Hi Sunny!

I relate very well! How many hungover mornings have I determined I won't drink that night? As many as I've experienced knowing that I will drink to make myself feel better, hair of the dog tames the day old hangover. And then the next morning is even worse!

Mylife is right, alcohol is a depressant! I am easily more anxious and depressed with a hangover regardless of any anxiety meds I'm on. And I have so many other alcohol related issues that clear up when I'm AF, I have good reason to go AF.

I'm determined to not drink tonight. My technique is to get something ELSE as a treat ready for that witching hour. That something else is Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream right now. I also try to vary my routine so I'm not home to drink at least a couple of nights. I find it helps me not do the knee-jerk "time for a glass of" reaction to evening. It also helps to eat dinner early.

Good luck with you, keep posting!

[crocster]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

Hi Sunny, My drinking pattern almost exactly. What is it about wine? That 5 pm voice comes from another part of my brain and has the power to shut down the rational, sensible side for long enough for me to drive to the pub, buy 2 bottles of wine, back home, pour the first glass and start to feel the buzz - after that it's game over. I've seen that voice described as "The Beast" elsewhere.

When I decided to stop I realised I wasn't over-endowed with willpower and decided to give the voice whatever it wanted to shut it up - except booze. So I tried acupuncture, St. John's Wort, L-Glutamine, Kudzu, Valium, guided meditation,food, exercise - whatever. It's still early days for me yet at 50 days but I have found I'm not needing the alternatives as much and the 5 pm voice is easier to ignore.

Good luck in your fight with this.

[Tipplerette]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

Sunnyside thanks for joining my thread and Ringing Cedars thanks for plugging it.. We are exactly alike. I can relate to everything you said and like My Life said there are no crises attached to our drinking so we tend to give ourselves permission to have one at the end of the day meaning nearly a whole bottle or more. I have to admit I feel the same way today as I did the first day of my 17 days A/F (personal best). I felt empowered and confident. Hope it keeps up.

Are you all sick of even having to THINK about drinking. What a waste of time.

Let' do this 30 day thing together.

Tips

[CanDo]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

Eat & Relax

This is my worst time of day for cravings, too. I've been able to quit several times, and am now making more progress this time than ever before.
Two things are really helping me. Eat or drink something high in sugar and taste. You used to use the alcohol to get past this slump. Forget the calories and grab a fruit drink or fruit or ice cream or candy, or anything at all that appeals. DO IT FAST!
I say to myself, "I'll have my Martinelli's Sparkling Cider (or ice cream bar, or whatever I want) first...then, if I have to drink, I'll deal with that then.
I find I'm not needing the alcohol after I get my blood sugar up.
It also helps to take a break, and even better, stop stressful work for the day if possible. I still have to do stuff, but I switch to easy tasks about 5 pm, and turn on some music I like. I love to call friends at this time, as it relaxes me.
Hope this helps you, too.

[life...take2]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

my story too!

Sunnyside,

you described my life as well! I lived that way for about 8 years until I decided to go AF.
Here's what I think. Even when I drank I was pretty health conscious about food during the day until 5pm. I think, in retrospect, that my sugar cravings kicked in at 5 and were relieved by the glass of white wine. Like you, after that, it was all over...

Once I gave it up, I had massive fatigue issues and sugar spikes because my body was trying to adjust to the lower daily doses of sugar/alcohol. For about 2 weeks, the urge to drink would kick in around 5 and I found that I could control it - even kill it - by indulging in a sweet. So I agree with CanDo. I would have dinner followed by ice cream sprinkled with chocolate chips or something similar. Maybe a chai tea with whipped cream. Afterward the idea of following the ice cream with a glass of white wine was repulsive to me --- couldn't do it.

Things eventually balanced out and I no longer have the cravings. And when I do, I know to treat myself to a dessert that I can burn off at the gym instead of grabbing highly addictive poison that wants to destroy my life.

The other thing is don't try to go at it alone. If you have someone in your life that you trust, call them to support you through the witching hour. You can do it! You did it before!

[sunnyside]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

Thanks for all the great feedback. It's so good to know so many CAN RELATE. I came back from vacation last week and realized I drank at least 3 (large) glasses of wine a night because it was vacation. That's a bottle or more - that's 14 bottles of wine in 2 weeks plus some beer and margharitas. It's just not normal, so why do I tell myself it's okay at 5 pm?

I agree with all that say it's the sugar spike, anything that will help. CanDo, I too had that fatique when I quit for 3 months so yes, sugar helps. And exercise, distraction... anything. When I quit before, I found taking a mental trip down memory lane helps. How many nights have you made a total ass of yourself? I can think of so many and they go back many years! When we drink we say "Oh, that was the past, can't change it." I know we can't change it but we can change now and move forward.

I think it's most important to talk to all of you that can relate. I'm almost afraid to share with my husband or friends because they'll roll their eyes and say "oh here she goes again". The posts are so helpful, THANK YOU all and let's all keep supporting each other.

Tipplerette, I'm there with you. I agree, thinking about drinking is exhausting! But, if you take all the hours you're drunk at night accomplishing squat and reassign them throughout the day to healthy thinking and living you probably gain time and feel better. Let's do this together!

[Tipplerette]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

I am on board and happily starting day two with a clear head and ice-cold lemon-mint water at my side. I think you guys hit the nail on the head and I learned something here. Why my fake wine and juice works at 5pm is because of the sugar. That is exactly it. I knew it worked but i didn't know why. You learn something new every day. Thanks guys !!

tips

[momof3]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

Hey Sunnyside,

Your description of your drinking lifestyle fit me to a "T" several years ago. I just loved having 2 or 3, glasses of wine in the evening to unwind. It was my "reward." Of course, each of those glasses was probably 2 glasses not 1 (since a standard unit/glass of alcohol is 6 oz). As the years progressed, I found myself drinking up to 2 bottles of wine per night. Then on some days, I found myself drinking at lunch time (I work out of my home).

It got really bad and my several attempts to moderate failed. Sure, I would do well the first few weeks. Then I would slip into my old patterns. I finally "got it" and quit for good. Now, I wished that I stopped years ago. But, it is what it is and I am not one to dwell in the past.

The thing is, alcohol is sneaky, baffling, and powerful. If you are allergic to alcohol or have a predisposition to alcoholism, consumption progresses as mine did. And, it happens so gradually that you don't really see it (and of course, the alcohol-soaked brain denies it).

Alcohol robbed me of the "real me" for years. I am very grateful to be free of it.

M3

[jenniech]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

i am so glad i found this thread. The way increased consumption sneaks up on you over the years is really amazing. And I see that it will only get worse unless action is taken NOW.

I will try the sweet stuff and eat dinner early today.
I am so tired of hating myself.....time to be AF, thin, look younger, feel better, enjoy life more.....it seems so obvious in black and white......but writing it and doing it are so different.......all of your posts give me strength...thanks!

[FlyAway]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

Tipplerette;1150149 wrote: I am on board and happily starting day two with a clear head and ice-cold lemon-mint water at my side. I think you guys hit the nail on the head and I learned something here. Why my fake wine and juice works at 5pm is because of the sugar. That is exactly it. I knew it worked but i didn't know why. You learn something new every day. Thanks guys !!

tips

I think part of this is psychological too. Just having the glass and drinking something is enough to satisfy me at times. I will sometimes drink diet tonic water with a lime twist or club soda. A fake cocktail.

[Tipplerette]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

BINGO, drinking patterns described perfectly. It really is a sneaky SOB eh... It's ME who asks hubby lately when the first bottle is done "Would you like another glass of wine." He says sure not realizing or not caring that we are now beginning round 2. I gleefully open the second bottle and a feeling of contentment gushes through my alchohol fixated brain. Oh Goody, no need to worry, we're topped off now... I am without concience at this point being well into my third glass of stupidity. The next day, with slight hangover or just fuzzy brain I wake up and make those well-intentioned promises to myself. It's the increased consumption that scares the sh..t out of me. So gradual.. so tricky...

When I was a teenager and all my friends were smoking weed and drinking themselves silly myself and my best friend used to be part of the "in-crowd" and were welcome at all the parties. We were stand-up comediens, hugely funny and self-depreciating but not the pretty girls. We got our fun from making each other and our friends howl with laughter.. ALL DEAD SOBER. We were never drinking and did not try weed (til later but that's another story). I didn't think I was missing anything. If I could do it then with all the peer pressure then I can do it now. And so can the rest of you.

Mom of 3 has it right on when she says that when we try moderation we eventually slip up. And then we land right back here at MWO with our tail between our legs.

[NoMoreWineThisTime]

What happens to me at about 5 PM???

As most of you know I did the 30 days and finished it this past Saturday. So I decided to see how it was with having just two of the little mini bottles. I have not really had an urge since then, and I am in no hurry to be anything, especially in this oppressive heat on the East Coast. For me, once I broke the habit, I was fine, but I am sure it would be easy to go right back to it. I agree with whoever said "What is it about the wine?" For me, I like wine! If I had a light beer, I could only have two because I don't like beer. For me, I don't think it's the alcohol, I think I just like the wine. I also like some flavored waters and drink a lot of those, but that is healthy, and the wine is not water. I agree with the whole taking the nice wine glass out, the sound it makes on the table, hearing the cork come out of the bottle, the sound of it pouring, and then Ahhhh....I have my wine. Before you know it, the bottle is gone. What the heck are they putting in that stuff anyway????