Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

I am scared

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    I am scared

    I know this is completely trivial compared to everyone else but I have to tell you that I am 43 days AF and SCARED for tomorrow. I am taking "friends" out to lunch tomorrow for birthdays and am afraid of the outcome. These are friends that have been about ALOT of alcohol and I have loyalty to them but I would like some advice about how to handle. I thought the idea of lunch would be enough but I have already gotten ideas about how to make this a longer day..I offered to drive but now cabs and hotels are coming into play..

    I hate birthdays.

    MissHazel
    Tags: None
    #2
    I am scared

    Can you just tell them that you are not drinking right now? You don't have to go into detail - just say that you are taking a break from drinking right now. I have done that before and my friends just said ok. No problem.
    "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
    ..........
    AF - 7-27-15

    Comment

      #3
      I am scared

      Honestly if it were me I would maybe do the lunch but make an excuse that you have plans afterward. If you feel you might be pressured to drink at lunch than I would not even go. If you feel comfortable telling them that you don't drink anymore and they respect it than cool. Personally I have reached the point that I will tell people I quit drinking and if they don't respect or understand than I don't hang out with them. Ultimately sobriety is more important. Whatever you decide I wish you the best.
      AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

      Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

      Comment

        #4
        I am scared

        If you must go please do not show up on an empty stomach and be well hydrated. Order water with lemon immediately and make this luncheon as short as possible. If you give in or even consider giving in it's over and your 43 days will be over and the best you can hope for is to be back on day 1. I've been there and failed, tried it and choked on it. Now I take the path of least resistance when I don't feel strong or even want to be in a temptation situation - I simply don't go. Good luck!
        2023 - focus, getting it done, and living the way it should be and being the person I need to be.

        Comment

          #5
          I am scared

          Thank you NoraC

          NoraC;1149928 wrote: Can you just tell them that you are not drinking right now? You don't have to go into detail - just say that you are taking a break from drinking right now. I have done that before and my friends just said ok. No problem.
          I wish I could give that answer, and it sounds like your friends are great friends. I might be a little bit of a coward right now, but I have decided not to go tomorrow. My husband has agreed to give an excuse for me so I won't be a part of this one. I don't want to live my life this way going forward...but right now the only priority I have is not to drink...

          Comment

            #6
            I am scared

            Great job miss hazel! It is so important to learn to put yourself first and keep your sobriety the number 1 priority. It will not always be this way. You will be able to socialize without fear again. This is only a moment in time and good for you in not.putting your AL Free time in jeopardy. Treat yourself to something nice tomorrow, you deserve it!
            AL free since March 17th 2011...loving this life. No drinking no matter what.

            Hi my name is Lori and i am so happy to be here.

            Comment

              #7
              I am scared

              Like the others said, don't go if you feel that you will drink. If you go tell them that your not drinking. Use any excuse or tell them the truth. Your sobriety is very important. Your friends should understand that your not drinking. If not, then you need new friends.
              I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

              Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

              Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

              Comment

                #8
                I am scared

                MissHazel;1149953 wrote: I might be a little bit of a coward right now, but I have decided not to go tomorrow. My husband has agreed to give an excuse for me so I won't be a part of this one. I don't want to live my life this way going forward...but right now the only priority I have is not to drink...
                Not a coward at all, MissHazel and :goodjob: on 43 days AF.

                Love the way you're making your number one priority not drinking.

                I would have done exactly the same thing. It's something we don't need this early in our sobriety. As you have already said there will be another lunch and you'll be looking good,clear eyed and fresh at the next one. They'll all be asking what your secret is.

                J x
                :l
                It could be worse, I could be filing.
                AF since 7/7/2009

                Comment

                  #9
                  I am scared

                  Miss Hazel,

                  I was so relieved to read your second post - that you had decided not to go.
                  In our early sober days, it really helps to take ourselves out of the situations that could lead to or tempt us back into drinking.

                  You are doing just what you need to do right now - you are looking after yourself and making sure that your health and wellbeing are you number one priority. That IS the most important thing, and that is to be congratulated. There is nothing cowardly about it, quite the opposite!

                  I am a year sober, and just last week I decided not to go to a best friends birthday because I knew there would be lots of boozing and cocaine use.
                  A part of me (the addict) wanted to go and be a part of the night while abstaining, but the healthy (wanting a better life for myself) part of me realised there was nothing good to be gained from going.

                  I took her out for a lovely sober lunch instead, then went home and left her to her night-time antics with her other mates.

                  Keep up the good work Miss Hazel - Good for you!!

                  Amelia
                  x
                  Amelia

                  Sober since 30/06/10

                  Comment

                    #10
                    I am scared

                    Hello MissHazel, I'm so proud of you!!!! What a great decision - and it is a decision just for YOU. That is what this journey has to be - for each one of us as individuals! Sometimes it is a seems selfish in our minds but ultimately it is the most unselfish thing we could possibly do for anyone!!! You are my absolute star......tears in my eyes as I write. Well done YOU. XXXXXOOOOOO
                    It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
                    Mother Theresa

                    Comment

                      #11
                      I am scared

                      Good for you Hazel! Your sobriety is the most important thing. :goodjob:

                      Comment

                        #12
                        I am scared

                        I am proud for you to decide that your sobriety is number 1 and that you decided not to go. If I felt the way you did, I wouldn't of gone neither. You can do lunch next time, make it to where you choose the place and choose a place that there will be no al served.
                        I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

                        Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

                        Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          I am scared

                          MissHazel;1149953 wrote: I wish I could give that answer, and it sounds like your friends are great friends. I might be a little bit of a coward right now, but I have decided not to go tomorrow. My husband has agreed to give an excuse for me so I won't be a part of this one. I don't want to live my life this way going forward...but right now the only priority I have is not to drink...
                          YOU GO GIRL!!!!! If you keep putting your sobriety first, you will build a very nice AF life. This all really does get easier with time. You are giving yourself the gift of life - so you will have plenty of good years ahead for birthday parties.

                          :l It's worth it. Really.

                          DG
                          Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                          Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                          One day at a time.

                          Comment

                          Previous template Next
                          Working...
                          X