I have been staying away from MWO recently because my drinking has gotten so bad that my brain can't even get its "arms" around it.
In the last few years I have experienced:
1. Kicked off an airplane for being drunk.
2. Checking into a hotel and falling down and smashing my nose into the bed table. Not pretty.
3. Drunk on Christmas morning when my folks were flying in and all the grandchildren were coming over. (omg)
4. Baker Act'd. Involuntary stay in the hospital psych ward with nurses sitting by my bed 24/7.
5. Taken by ambulance to hospital due to heart issues and withdrawal issues. $5K later determined that my heart is weakened from drinking. ($50K to insurance company, btw.)
6. Went to take care of parents, 87 years old, who were both in the hospital at the same time. Went to a bar, drank until they took my keys away, woke up to the police finding me in a field somewhere and they took me to a hotel. I had broken my ankle in the process. The bruises on my body were everywhere. What a great help to my ageing parents, eh?
7. Got back home and drank. Husband lost his temper, broke the television and vacuum cleaner, (none of which I remember), and I took off for my folks home again. Ended up two hours past their house and picked up by the police DUI. Refused to blow so lost my license.
8. I quit my incredibly high paying job because I realized the stress from it was not helping me stay sober. No guarantee I will be sober because I quit but a guarantee that I can't quit if I kept the job.
9. ??? Death?
I am grateful I did not kill anyone on my last "adventure into madness." I deserve whatever the courts throw at me. I am a hard core, dying alcoholic. No one else should have to suffer because of my disease.
How low can I go?
Where is my jumping off place?
Where is yours?
And before anyone sends the "you should never drink and drive" post, I don't remember and didn't know I was doing it. That is the problem with this disease. It is deadly.
Cindi
In the last few years I have experienced:
1. Kicked off an airplane for being drunk.
2. Checking into a hotel and falling down and smashing my nose into the bed table. Not pretty.
3. Drunk on Christmas morning when my folks were flying in and all the grandchildren were coming over. (omg)
4. Baker Act'd. Involuntary stay in the hospital psych ward with nurses sitting by my bed 24/7.
5. Taken by ambulance to hospital due to heart issues and withdrawal issues. $5K later determined that my heart is weakened from drinking. ($50K to insurance company, btw.)
6. Went to take care of parents, 87 years old, who were both in the hospital at the same time. Went to a bar, drank until they took my keys away, woke up to the police finding me in a field somewhere and they took me to a hotel. I had broken my ankle in the process. The bruises on my body were everywhere. What a great help to my ageing parents, eh?
7. Got back home and drank. Husband lost his temper, broke the television and vacuum cleaner, (none of which I remember), and I took off for my folks home again. Ended up two hours past their house and picked up by the police DUI. Refused to blow so lost my license.
8. I quit my incredibly high paying job because I realized the stress from it was not helping me stay sober. No guarantee I will be sober because I quit but a guarantee that I can't quit if I kept the job.
9. ??? Death?
I am grateful I did not kill anyone on my last "adventure into madness." I deserve whatever the courts throw at me. I am a hard core, dying alcoholic. No one else should have to suffer because of my disease.
How low can I go?
Where is my jumping off place?
Where is yours?
And before anyone sends the "you should never drink and drive" post, I don't remember and didn't know I was doing it. That is the problem with this disease. It is deadly.
Cindi
awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, 
Cinders.....I can tell you some stories about my drunken escapes. Their was many a lost weekend and waking up in a strange bed with someone you don't know. Sorry people in my younger care free days I was a mess ! We all have stories.......Let's overcome them ! That's what were all about. No matter what you've gone through........It doesn't matter.....It's time to forgive yourself and move forward ! " Today you start anew !" Clean slate....let's move forward. You can do it, we can do it ! Tony
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