How low can we go?

[Cinders]

How low can we go?

I recall, Greenie. I have been so proud of being married for so many years.

But, in the back of my mind, I always thought that if I lost my job he wouldn't want me.

That is the case.

He doesn't realize it but it is what it is.

I am just like you. A beautiful woman in my 50s and no one can take my life away from me. (I don't eat figs, though. lol)

Thank you all.

Love,
Cindi

[startingover]

How low can we go?

Cindi, you are amazing woman.
I am so proud of you xxxx

[tawnyfrog]

How low can we go?

Cindi, I can only see this in a very positive light.

No more relentless travelling, no more demanding clients. The loneliness of the hotel room will be a thing of the past. And if the marriage is over, so be it. I can't think of another member here who has tried as many different routes to get sober as you have. Maybe the stressful job and the indifferent hubs have always been the pivotal things which have prevented you from succeeding. Who knows but ...

... It's time for YOU. Go for it.

[Doggygirl]

How low can we go?

Hi Cindi. My thoughts after reading your post about your husband are "how freeing to finally have the truth out in the open!" That is the sort of thing (wanting you for your money) that for me, would eat me alive under the surface of my life. I don't believe I could have stood up to that for as long as you did, as well as you did.

I had a relationship several years ago with a man I unfondly refer to as ConMan. He got his hooks into me and my life - a very smooth operator. From early on, I suspected that he might just be using me for my money, but he was VERY VERY good at convincing me otherwise. But that nagging, low level FEAR nearly destroyed me. And it sure drove a TON of out of control drinking. And I only lived that way for a few years - I can't imagine what it has been like for you living with that sort of low level fear for your adult life.

Cindi, I hope now that the truth is out you find a good place to love and care for yourself - you are a beautiful soul and you deserve peace.

DG

[momof3]

How low can we go?

Cindi,

I read through all the posts. I hope for you that this is your way out of the grips of this horrible disease.

Please come back and post and let us know how you are. I think staying connected here to those who understand could be of some help to you.

:hM3

[Cinders]

How low can we go?

Hi, all. I am back, sober, having grandkids over, swimming.

Husband and I talked quite a bit. His anger at my alcoholism is driving what he says.

He told me I am the nicest person when I am sober and evil and nasty when drinking.

He is afraid of the "time bomb" that is ticking away inside of me all the time.

He has asked me to go to a psychiatrist and get counseling 1-1. We will go from there.

For many reasons, such as health insurance, etc., I will be sticking this out.

I will keep all posted.

But for now, I am sober and planning on staying that way.

I am also going to require he goes to counseling with me. He has anger issues. He has never laid a finger on me before but his behavior last week was intolerable. Otherwise, I will leave as soon as financially viable.

Love,
Cindi

ps Many, many thanks for the caring and concern. It is good for my soul to have so many friends that care. I care about all of you, too.

[Doggygirl]

How low can we go?

Cindi... :l

If it is truly right for you to work things out with him, then of course I wish you well. I am glad you are insisting on counseling for him too.

In the mean time, please remember that we ALWAYS have options. ALWAYS. They may not always be glamorous options, but we have them nonetheless. I hope you are keeping yours in mind. Anything is better than abuse.

:l

DG

[greeneyes]

How low can we go?

I agree with DG, cindi. And anger, in any of the many non-violent ways it can be expressed, can be equally abusive in an emotional way. :l:l

[ThreeDogNight]

How low can we go?

Just thinking of you, Cindi, and I hope everything works out for you. I am looking at counseling, too, and my husband wants us to go to counseling together. This whole disease is just awful!

TDN

[momof3]

How low can we go?

Hi Cindi,

Thanks for checking in and letting us know how you are doing. I think of you often. I am happy that you are going to counseling. One step, one day at a time. I must say that I was really relieved to hear that you quit your job even though I imagine it might be quite scary for you. How brave you are!!!

Please keep us posted.

:h
M3

[betty boop]

How low can we go?

:l:l:l's Cindi ........

You are ALWAYS in my thoughts ..............

Stay strong and take care ...........

Love & Hugs, BB ... xxx

[Guest]

How low can we go?

Cinders;1156607 wrote: Hi, all. I am back, sober, having grandkids over, swimming.

Husband and I talked quite a bit. His anger at my alcoholism is driving what he says.

He told me I am the nicest person when I am sober and evil and nasty when drinking.

He is afraid of the "time bomb" that is ticking away inside of me all the time.

He has asked me to go to a psychiatrist and get counseling 1-1. We will go from there.

For many reasons, such as health insurance, etc., I will be sticking this out.

I will keep all posted.

But for now, I am sober and planning on staying that way.

I am also going to require he goes to counseling with me. He has anger issues. He has never laid a finger on me before but his behavior last week was intolerable. Otherwise, I will leave as soon as financially viable.

Love,
Cindi

ps Many, many thanks for the caring and concern. It is good for my soul to have so many friends that care. I care about all of you, too.

I can well believe your husband is angry, this illness drives our loved ones away. They feel frustrated, and are often hurt by our drunk behaviour. I know myself that drunk I can turn nasty, and even when I'm thinking of getting drunk, or recovering that my thoughts and behaviours are altered still.

Hopefully you can come to some resolution through all of this, and most of all attain sobriety and peace of mind.

[Miss Behaving]

How low can we go?

Cindi thinking of you lots at the moment. Like others, I think it is good that you want your hub to go with you to counselling. With all of those years together (and good on you for being proud of it!) patterns and habits will be hard wired, and need a circuit breaker.

I for one am standing right beside you my friend, and as you can tell from this thread, so are alll your MWO buddies :l:l

[RingingCedars]

How low can we go?

Thinking about you from here too Cinders. Individual and couple counseling is a positive step and safe arena to express all thoughts and feelings. Sending wishes for all things positive. xo

[Accountable for Me]

How low can we go?

I can't add what anyone else here hasn't already.

But, I want to send you tons of love and strength. Don't let AL be the end of you. You deserve a healthy life. You are still young.

I can relate to how some people can get frustrated, angry and scared by our behaviours.

The thing to remember is that it is YOUR time to be selfish. You need to focus on you and getting well. :l:l