Hi everyone,
I used to post every once in a while almost a year ago. I just wanted to pop on and give anyone who remembers me an update. I'm happy to say that I have not had a drink since November of last year. It's been around 8 months AF for me.
I had a bad binge in November and got scared because when I sobered up I was so very sick. I went to the mental health hospital and was admitted for detox. It was actually a good experience for me. I go to a psychiatrist's office that specializes in addiction, though it treats other psychiatric treatments as well. I see a wonderful therapist once a week or once every two weeks, and I see the doctor once a month. I'm on quite a few meds. I get the Vivitrol injection once a month. I don't go to AA - I'm not knocking it (in fact I'm planning on going to a meeting)...I just don't think it's the only way. I rarely get cravings. I used to be a wino, and I would head straight for the wine at the grocery store. Now when I pass it, I either don't feel anything or feel slightly nauseated. My roommate brought a couple of beers in the house and I had no desire to drink them. The only time I get true cravings is when I go out and everyone else is drinking. So I rarely go out to places where alcohol is the main attraction, and if I do I bring my boyfriend (who is amazing and supportive and doesn't drink because of me).
Drinking caused a lot of my problems but just simply stopping didn't make the problems go away. Now I have to deal with them - I can't just drink myself into oblivion every single night anymore. I have to deal with the problems I had that contributed to my starting drinking and the problems I caused by my previous drunken behavior. And I am depressed. I get anxious. But I realized that I don't actually need the drink to cope.
The most important thing is that I feel like I have my dignity back. When I was a drunken mess, I felt I had no dignity whatsoever. Alcohol takes that from you. I'm slowly getting my self-confidence and self-respect back, but I feel like as soon as I stopped I had my dignity back. I'm not sure if that even makes sense.
Anyway, I'm going to hang around for a while. I might disappear again - I used to find that being on the boards made me crave alcohol sometimes. I just wanted everyone to know that I'm doing well and I wish you all the best. If anyone has any questions about the injections or anything, let me know.
~Bella~
I used to post every once in a while almost a year ago. I just wanted to pop on and give anyone who remembers me an update. I'm happy to say that I have not had a drink since November of last year. It's been around 8 months AF for me.
I had a bad binge in November and got scared because when I sobered up I was so very sick. I went to the mental health hospital and was admitted for detox. It was actually a good experience for me. I go to a psychiatrist's office that specializes in addiction, though it treats other psychiatric treatments as well. I see a wonderful therapist once a week or once every two weeks, and I see the doctor once a month. I'm on quite a few meds. I get the Vivitrol injection once a month. I don't go to AA - I'm not knocking it (in fact I'm planning on going to a meeting)...I just don't think it's the only way. I rarely get cravings. I used to be a wino, and I would head straight for the wine at the grocery store. Now when I pass it, I either don't feel anything or feel slightly nauseated. My roommate brought a couple of beers in the house and I had no desire to drink them. The only time I get true cravings is when I go out and everyone else is drinking. So I rarely go out to places where alcohol is the main attraction, and if I do I bring my boyfriend (who is amazing and supportive and doesn't drink because of me).
Drinking caused a lot of my problems but just simply stopping didn't make the problems go away. Now I have to deal with them - I can't just drink myself into oblivion every single night anymore. I have to deal with the problems I had that contributed to my starting drinking and the problems I caused by my previous drunken behavior. And I am depressed. I get anxious. But I realized that I don't actually need the drink to cope.
The most important thing is that I feel like I have my dignity back. When I was a drunken mess, I felt I had no dignity whatsoever. Alcohol takes that from you. I'm slowly getting my self-confidence and self-respect back, but I feel like as soon as I stopped I had my dignity back. I'm not sure if that even makes sense.
Anyway, I'm going to hang around for a while. I might disappear again - I used to find that being on the boards made me crave alcohol sometimes. I just wanted everyone to know that I'm doing well and I wish you all the best. If anyone has any questions about the injections or anything, let me know.
~Bella~
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