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    When things happen

    When things happen in a marriage, and in life,
    what kind of things do people do to cope with this THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE THE NUMBING EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL? My answer for 20 plus years has been drinking.but I am sober now and I am trying to reach out and find healthy ways to deal with stuff.
    I know exercise is important and I am on EVERY supplement out there (OK...that is an exaggeration)..but I would like to know what you guys do on a moment to moment basis..

    Thanks..
    MissUNHAPPYHazel

    #2
    When things happen

    Hiya MissH.
    That was the same for me too, years and years of numbing my pain with alc and drugs and scared shitless of how I was going to cope with everything sober.
    Well, its been three years now and I have coped with redundancy, my mothers death and now marital issues. I can honestly say that doing it sober is easier. Not sure how, but I think things dont have the ability to screw me up quite so much when I can think straight.
    On a moment to moment basis I use techniques like positive thinking, EFT (emotional freedom technique) and doing something nice for myself. And the realization that we are never given more than we can cope with.
    You CAN do this and it will get easier. Its like riding a bike
    Living now and not just existing since 9th July 2008
    Nicotine Free since 6th February 2009

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      #3
      When things happen

      It is hard. Practicing anything takes time and effort to master it. Discipline helps me, just wish I were more disciplined. I am working on it but in the mean time I just walk away from any situation that might make me think to take a drink. I rehearse in my head all the effects I will feel if i give in. I do breathing exercises to calm myself. I have quit all but 1 cup of coffee a day. Having a good friend who is AF helps a lot if you can confide in them. Not trying to be a wiseguy but sometimes I wonder why I just don't drink. Seems like a good way out but it just screws with my life and makes me feel like crap. Just realizing this is motivation enough. I have started doing other things I used to enjoy like reading, taking up a foreign language, hobbies like photography of nature. I find the more I immerse myself in life the less I think of booze. Booze is a dead end that ends badly. Just wish life was a little bit easier on us sometimes. Good luck to you Hazel and I hope you find your way. regards, hyper

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        #4
        When things happen

        I agree with Hyper - I know it may sound trite, but join your local library and get in the habit of borrowing books - I find if I curl up in bed with a book I'm interested in around 8pm I have no trouble dozing off and wake up very refreshed.
        AF 20 April 2011
        NF 12 December 2009
        Fresh Fruit for Sobriety

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          #5
          When things happen

          MH,
          Some things I do to cope are come here and connect.
          When we drink to deal with things we are only delaying the dealing with part.
          Exercise and meditation can be helpful. Whatever you use as an healthy outlet would be good.
          I hope things get better!
          xx

          Ive learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances. -Martha Washington

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            #6
            When things happen

            Thanks for all of the replies!

            I really appreciate all of the ideas.I will remember this one:
            "The more I immerse myself in life the less I think about booze"
            Wow...I hope I can start to immerse myself in the life that I have left.
            MissH

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