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**tiptronic_ct** · August 5, 2011, 06:55 AM

Army Thread 5th August

EnglishWriter77;1158489 wrote: Well I have been trying to do too much lately, Laura is v demanding at the moment and I can't breathe without permission.

I go into work and I am doing 3 people's jobs because my colleagues are lazy and I think I had a mini-breakdown and just had to get out before I burst into tears like a loony.

Today I couldn't go in, so now I just sit here worrying what they are all saying behind my back.

I just want to run away.

Awwwwwwwwwwww, EW :l

Deep breaths, first of all. And you know what? It is OK to have a cry every now and again. A better option than running away. Feck knows, I've cried lots over the past two years, trying to come to terms with things.

Secondly, what is it going to help worrying what they say about you? It's not as if you're there to be hurt by it. So feck 'em, I say. I am always blowing things out of proportion in my head - by trying to anticipate outcomes, trying to place myself in other people's heads and trying to think what they're thinking. It is of no use.

Thirdly: you haven't spoken much about you, Laura and mini-me recently? How are things going? If you say she's being difficult, how is that manifesting?

**expat3** · August 5, 2011, 07:00 AM

Army Thread 5th August

EW-I don't really know what to say. I definitely understand the "feeling overwhelmed" and wanting to run away. I wouldn't worry too much about what they are saying about you behind your back. I'd go directly to the boss and try to discuss the problem with him/her. No middle man. As for your GF-maybe she's stressed out and hormonal with the pregnancy. Probably a good idea to think up some kind of healthy break for yourself to give your mind a rest. Many of us out here get to "overload". Not just us alkies. :l

**EnglishWriter77** · August 5, 2011, 07:00 AM

Army Thread 5th August

I don't like hurting my chances within the company by becoming known as the crazy one. I've had a couple of days now albeit one on Monday cos Laura had some pains and bleeding.

She essentially thinks I am just here to do whatever she wants that second. I am not allowed to do my writing, I got told off when I came back late on Sat night, I am supposed to do everything as if she is disabled, not pregnant. I am suffocating a bit

**expat3** · August 5, 2011, 07:07 AM

Army Thread 5th August

EnglishWriter77;1158495 wrote: I don't like hurting my chances within the company by becoming known as the crazy one. I've had a couple of days now albeit one on Monday cos Laura had some pains and bleeding.

She essentially thinks I am just here to do whatever she wants that second. I am not allowed to do my writing, I got told off when I came back late on Sat night, I am supposed to do everything as if she is disabled, not pregnant. I am suffocating a bit

Stressful. For both of you. Does she have some women friends or family she can lean on? Pregnant women can get very emotional-and if she had bleeding, it's very scary too.

**EnglishWriter77** · August 5, 2011, 07:09 AM

Army Thread 5th August

Oh trust me I am not an ogre...I like looking after her. I just sometimes need a breather else I feel a bit caged.

**tiptronic_ct** · August 5, 2011, 07:14 AM

Army Thread 5th August

EnglishWriter77;1158495 wrote: I don't like hurting my chances within the company by becoming known as the crazy one. I've had a couple of days now albeit one on Monday cos Laura had some pains and bleeding.
Will you settle for being regarded as a tad eccentric? :H Sorry... couldn't resist...

I really wouldn't worry about it too much, EW. As long as your work is up to scratch, everything will be fine.

EnglishWriter77;1158495 wrote: She essentially thinks I am just here to do whatever she wants that second. I am not allowed to do my writing, I got told off when I came back late on Sat night, I am supposed to do everything as if she is disabled, not pregnant. I am suffocating a bit

Have you tried managing Laura's expectations in some way? For example, telling her that you need to do some writing between 4 - 6 p.m. on Saturday. And then asking her if there is something she would like you to do beforehand?

In other words, you need to illustrate that you're there to help her, but life needs to carry on as well. If you inform her beforehand what your programme will be, and you stick to your side of the bargain, it is likely that you'll be able to find some middle ground?

**expat3** · August 5, 2011, 07:19 AM

Army Thread 5th August

mollyka;1158501 wrote: Xpost Xpat -- EW pretty much everything she says as well

I never had bleeding in pregnancy but I did have a scare contact with german measles, and TBH NOTHING mattered to me until I got the all clear on that - I'm sure I treated hubs like a dog. I will say again - you need to talk to her - rationally, even if it's only to explain how you have to write etc. whenever required if only to support her and baby when he/she comes along.
Don't worry bout being known as the crazy one 1/ aren't all writers a bit screwballs

and2/ most folks I work with are as mad as a bag of cats - and they wear it like a badge of honour:h

Great post Molly! Crazy and proud here!:H No but really-take a break and some healthy time for yourself EW. Laura is important but so are you. Hopefully, you both have supportive friends and family to help you out at this time. And of course--we are here too!:l
Must run out for a bit-but I'll be back later. xxx

**tiptronic_ct** · August 5, 2011, 07:20 AM

Army Thread 5th August

Laters, Expatticus

**EnglishWriter77** · August 5, 2011, 07:23 AM

Army Thread 5th August

Thanks all!

See you in a bit expat

X

**tiptronic_ct** · August 5, 2011, 07:28 AM

Army Thread 5th August

EnglishWriter77;1158509 wrote: Thanks all!

See you in a bit expat

X

Sooooooooooo, EW.

Seeing that you're a Metro and all, what'll you be doing to treat yourself a bit?

**EnglishWriter77** · August 5, 2011, 07:30 AM

Army Thread 5th August

Well Tips, what I really crave is sleep, and a time machine.

But both seem short in supply! :H

**tiptronic_ct** · August 5, 2011, 07:39 AM

Army Thread 5th August

EnglishWriter77;1158513 wrote: Well Tips, what I really crave is sleep, and a time machine.

But both seem short in supply! :H

A time machine. Now there's an idea. Question is: would you like to go back or forward in time?

**Recluse** · August 5, 2011, 07:39 AM

Army Thread 5th August

Afternoon EW,

lots of good advice from the troopers there, as usual. As tips said, it is OK to have a cry every now and again. I've cried loads too. But it's not a good idea to do it in the office. If you find yourself at breaking point, walk out of the office and come back the next day with a suitable excuse. If you ignore your emotional needs, you may find yourself back on the booze very quickly and then bang goes your job etc etc. I speak from bitter experience, though I did somehow manage to hold on to my job.

**tiptronic_ct** · August 5, 2011, 07:39 AM

Army Thread 5th August

Backinabit - just going to take a smokebreak now that the rain has let up. I cannot stomach the idea of using the smoking room again today.

**EnglishWriter77** · August 5, 2011, 07:41 AM

Army Thread 5th August

Yes, well I did walk out yesterday - today I just said I need to get myself together. My worry is I have taken 3 days now in 3 months....

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