Why do I do this to myself?!! I'm hungover again this morning (third time is less than a week). I decided to watch a movie last night with a glass of wine. But to have a glass, I had to open a whole bottle...you can probably see where this is going. Long & short of things, a bottle and a half as well as two beers later and I'm feeling terrible today...for more than one reason.
My Story: I started drinking when I was a teenager. I would binge on the weekends with my friends, but I would never really drink throughout the week. As far as I was concerned, I think I was a pretty normal teenager. I'm 27 now - my drinking has become more and more intense, and not on purpose! I used to have a couple glasses of wine a night, more on the weekends while hanging out with friends. I was a happy, silly drunk. In the last year, I've noticed I'm drinking more than I used to. A bottle of wine a night is no biggie...and the hangovers are MUCH worse than they used to be! Another thing I've noticed is that I'm no longer that happy, silly funny drunk anymore. I'm such a jerk! I get argumentative. I like to belittle my boyfriend. I say racist things, even though I'm not racist. I become a bully. I gossip more. I make REALLY inappropriate comments. I talk about people behind their backs, even if they're within earshot.
This is NOT the person I am! I'm not a bully or a gossiper!
Over the past few months, my fantastic boyfriend has been getting shit on by me...when I'm drunk. Everything from his 'stupid loud' truck, to the fact that he wanted to play golf when we didn't have any other plans, except that I wanted to hang out with him instead. I turn into such a bitch! My boyfriend plays in a band. Last night he came home with their new CD and put it on for me to listen to. I wasn't quite done my movie, but be was really excited about it and made me pause the movie. Instead of listening to his CD and being the loving girlfriend that he deserves...the bottle and a half of wine, bitchy girlfriend came out. I picked the first song to pieces...and his excitement and pride about it, too. I feel like the worst person in the world. My boyfriend, however, is loving and forgiving. He was cheerful again this morning to me, even though it's the last thing I deserve.
Alcohol turns me into a terrible person. That being said, I've never had a problem NOT drinking...yet, anyways. So I may as well quit while I'm ahead, and while I still have a fantastic relationship with my boyfriend, not to mention my friends too. I'm going to go sober until Sept. 24th. That day is our anniversary and we're going to the mountains for a picnic & a bottle of wine (insert romantic setting here). After that, I'll keep up my sobriety. I have no choice.
Day one....I should sound too dramatic, I suppose. I'm hungover and would probably be sick if I so much as smelt booze.
:thanks: for listening!!!
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