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    #31
    Geekteeth's Journey

    Ben ( I LOVE that name, some of my favorite people have had it), I'm very proud of you. I can give you grandmotherly love here :H Seriously, this is a good thing you're doing.
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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      #32
      Geekteeth's Journey

      Ruby, after feeling so low today, your message has truly put a huge smile on my face! Thank you so much! This site and yourself have truly been a blessing! Lots love xxx
      ?I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.?

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        #33
        Geekteeth's Journey

        Hi all, well another day without al, but I am feeling so low and empty it is scary! I really want a drink but I know I cant due to the antabuse. I know it would be a silly thing to do, but I am mentally craving a drink! really do hate my thoughts sometimes!
        ?I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.?

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          #34
          Geekteeth's Journey

          Geek, you feel empty because you filled that space with AL before. Now is the time to get out and renew the person you were before. THINK!
          sigpic
          Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
          awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

          Comment

            #35
            Geekteeth's Journey

            Thinking of you Ben. :l
            "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
            ..........
            AF - 7-27-15

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              #36
              Geekteeth's Journey

              Ben, I've only just this morning had the time to read this thread from start to finish. I'm so proud of you!!

              This is a hard thing that you are doing, and it is only to be expected that you will keep having cravings. You need to find something to fill the gap - something that you used to enjoy doing, something that you've always wanted to do, anything that will take your mind off the grog.

              You are doing so well Ben!! Keep it up! Is today Day 7? Good job!!:grouptrophy:
              Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn

              Harriet Beecher Stowe

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                #37
                Geekteeth's Journey

                Hey all, thank you for your kind words and support! today has been very hard..but its another day al free so that means more than being down.

                We got a chinese take away this evening, went down very nice...until half an hour later when became very very hot and started to feel quite sick, had to lay down as I felt as if I was high....me thinks it may have been a reaction from the sweet and sour with the antabuse that I am taking...gotta be very careful next time!
                Have booked to see a film at the pics 2moz with my brother, thought I would pick the 11.30 am showing as then it would give me a reason to get up at a resonable time of day!(been 13.00pm most days)

                I think I am slowly getting the trust back from my mum and bro, but they are still a bit wary as this is usually the time I drink,A week or so after saying I will never do it again..so I can understand thier doubts.
                I am sorry if my posts seem a bit morbid at times, I am not a miserable git at heart, its just the path I am going down right now is very daunting indeed....please bare with me folks.....I will slowly get back to bringing the real Ben back to life.

                Miss behaving, yes this is day 7 for me...and thank you for your love and support......all you guys have been a huge help this past week or so, and I am forever grateful!

                I hope you all enjoy the rest of your week and enjoy the weekend ahead!

                Love you all
                ?I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.?

                Comment

                  #38
                  Geekteeth's Journey

                  Hey Ben! Good idea for the pics. I understand about the trust issue.....but you are showing them that it is true.
                  You are just a few years older than my son and I feel a connection with you. :l So, I'm sure your Mom is thrilled.
                  I'm so sorry that you had a reaction with the food and the antabuse. I've never had any problem at all. But, I'm vegetarian so my eating out is pretty limited.
                  Enjoy your movies. :h
                  "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                  ..........
                  AF - 7-27-15

                  Comment

                    #39
                    Geekteeth's Journey

                    Aww Nora thank you, you have been a huge part of my recovery, your support and everybody else's keeps me going! Well the film was good, both myself and brother enjoyed. On the way home though my brother fancied kfc(diet has gone down hill last two days! Lol), so I got a chicken burger meal, and there must of been a sauce of some kind in it, becuase 20 mins later I was sick at the bus stop, then couldn't stop being sick on the bus(very embarrassing!), and I am now lyed up in bed feeling very hot, and have blood shot eyes......wow this Antabuse is bloody strong!!! Me thinks im am going to get back on me diet and cook from scratch again so I know what's going into it it, and avoid fast food completely! If this is the reaction I get from food, I really don't wanna know what it would be like if I drank!!! Love you all. Ben
                    ?I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.?

                    Comment

                      #40
                      Geekteeth's Journey

                      Oh Ben. :l:l I'm so sorry. I have never heard of this kind of reaction before. Can you call your Doctor and talk to him. That's really scary. I hope that you feel better right away. :h
                      "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
                      ..........
                      AF - 7-27-15

                      Comment

                        #41
                        Geekteeth's Journey

                        Ben, just wanted to say hi and well done for sticking with your plan. I'm pretty new (11 days AF today) so I feel your pain. I'm having the same kinds of low times, but I know it will get better. I've been drinking for decades, so it stands to reason that it will take time to feel better. Be glad you're doing this at your age until waiting until you're older (I wish I had tried this much earlier on). When I read posts by people who are several years sober, it gives me hope that we'll work our way out of the feelings that we're experiencing now. I'm looking forward to the time when I don't think much about alcohol. I know it can be done just by looking around this site.

                        Anyway, sending you healing vibes. BTW, DO cook for yourself. There's no telling what they put in fast food - pure shit! It kills us even if we don't have an overt reaction to it!

                        :l

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                          #42
                          Geekteeth's Journey

                          Hey Miss n, not being sick anymore...but feel like I have gone ten rounds with mike Tyson! Feels like I have a massive hangover, how strange! Hope your ok?:l
                          ?I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.?

                          Comment

                            #43
                            Geekteeth's Journey

                            Unwasted...yup, it is pure shit! Hence why it's fast lol! By, fantastic on 11 days al free!! Proud of you!! Keep it up! If ever you want to chat please get intouch...even if it's just something random like...why does a bird shit on you then fly away and laugh! Lol. Keep strong, will be thinking of you! Lots of love
                            ?I thought I'd begin by reading a sonnet by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.?

                            Comment

                              #44
                              Geekteeth's Journey

                              Ben - I'll be out of pocket for over a week - leaving for a vacation tomorrow very early(yea)........my goal is to make it my first ever one AF. I'll let you know how I fared.

                              In the meantime, please take good care and eat lots of vegies.

                              BTW, I don't think the bird intentionally shits on you -- just feels like it at the time.:H:H

                              Stay strong!

                              Comment

                                #45
                                Geekteeth's Journey

                                Geek, good going. It takes a long time to experience all the emotions, effects, etc., of sobriety after long periods of drinking. Again, our problems are still there. But they can be managed when we don't add AL to the mix. With AL, we feel we have all the answers and none of the answers, but we don't do anything constructive. Unwasted, best wishes for your vacation. Make it one to (actually) remember!
                                sigpic
                                Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                                awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                                Comment

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