Time to try again...

[tonstantweader]

Time to try again...

Beano,
You've come too far to give in now. Think about how proud you will be tomorrow when you know you can get through a beautiful Sat. afternoon without drinking. Plus you can talk to your friend sober and perhaps enlist his help. It sounds as if you tend to be a lone wolf about this struggle, but maybe it is time to ask for help from those around you.

throw down some L- glut, drink lots of water, go out for a walk. The cravings will pass.

[BeanoC]

Time to try again...

I've already taken 3G of L-Glut; had about 8 bottles of water LOL

I have been keeping busy around the house and office; doing okay really but the temptation is still there. I'm not just gonna crumble and give in to this, but it's harder than ever right now for some reason. I just gotta keep moving and keep busy.

RingingCedars - Yes, there are at least 2 cases of beer throughout the several fridges in the house... and I know I should get rid of it, but there's a liquor store right across the street; literally a one minute walk, so it's always gonna be within reach regardless of what I do.

My friend will definitely be supportive if I ask him to and explain what I'm doing. He's a great guy... but he's also a heavy drinker! LOL

Mind over matter, mind over matter...

[tonstantweader]

Time to try again...

And remember read your own quotation. I'm at my sister's now with beer and wine all around. Drinking lots of water too!

[tonstantweader]

Time to try again...

Made it through my dinner with husband, sister, brother-in-law and brother-in-law's brother. Luckily my sister didn't even offer beers to anyone until i told her I was ok with other people drinking. Even then, they all drank very little, so that helped. But just being in a house with wine right there in the fridge and cold beers on a hot Maryland afternoon was hard to resist. But I did and I'm so glad I did. Just not having to do the rationalizing, the negotiating, the questions about whether I am drinking too much, will anyone notice if I get another glass of wine, should I stop on the way home for more? Not having to deal with all of that was great.

Now I'm home with my sleepytime tea and feeling good about the evening.I have another social event tomorrow that could prove harder but I am determined I'm not gonna let this addiction control me.

[tonstantweader]

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I have to tell you about the dream I had last night, or was it a nightmare? I woke up actually thinking that I had drunk my usual boatload of wine. I was mad at myself, full of self-loathing, angry at the thought of the people on here that I had let down. Then I slowly realized, I hadn't drunk at all. I was sober, today would be fine because I wouldn't be hung over. But it took me quite a while to realize that it was a dream; it was so real. What a relief when I realized it was a dream.

[BeanoC]

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It's amazing to me that, as powerful as the cravings are sometimes, and you think you're gonna cave in - once they pass, there's no desire or temptation at all! At least that's how it's been for me. I got through a few tough hours yesterday, and once it settled down, I did a little work, ate dinner, then chatted with my friend on Skype until nearly midnight. I drank 3 bottles of water during our chat as I watched him sip chardonnay. It didn't bother me in the slightest and I had no desire to drink. If there had been a frosty mug of beer right in front of me I wouldn't have touched it. Weird huh??

(Today makes an even 2 weeks AF!)

[Nichau]

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Congrats, Beano! So proud of you!

[tonstantweader]

Time to try again...

Yes, I've found that if I just give myself time the cravings will pass. I can't say that I would be strong enough to resist a cold frosty right in front of me, but I would get rid of it!
My party yesterday afternoon with my husband's friends went well. There was plenty of booze but no one drank to excess. My husband even drank diet soda the whole time so I didn't feel left out. It was so gratifying to not have to worry about constantly refilling my wine glass, wondering if anyone noticed how much I was drinking, making a fool of myself, etc. And again, I was struck by how non-alcoholics treat booze. Or at least, I didn't notice alcoholic behavior but then again, we can be great at fooling others.

The only problem was realizing how damned old everyone was since my husband robbed the cradle.

[BeanoC]

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Today begins week 3 for me. The good news is, I am 15 days AF and the coming week is well planned out so it should be fairly easy for me to stay on track. The bad news? This coming Saturday officially begins 'empty nest syndrome' at our house. We are moving our daughter into the dorms on Friday and driving home Saturday. Gonna be weird, to say the least.
So, with the kids gone and much less activity around home, I can see boredom becoming a temptation. You know - less responsibility, the kids aren't home to see me drink, etc. So it's a new hurdle for me to work on getting over. I have overcome some pretty tough temptations already, so I guess it's just a matter of desire. If I really want to continue to stay sober, I won't give myself an excuse not to be. This is the best I have felt in a long while. And while I might have a desire to drink at times, I certainly have no desire to change the way I have been feeling the last 2 weeks!

So begins another day...

[tonstantweader]

Time to try again...

Yes, I know that empty nest syndrome and the feeling that you are more free to drink without the kids around. It's good that you are looking ahead for ways to thwart it. My youngest left the nest last August and that is when I really started to slide downhill seriously, so be careful. but you have already shown yourself that you can beat the cravings and distract yourself.

I am headed into my really busy season at work (I'm faculty/administrator at a college) so luckily for me, my life will get much busier than in the summer so that helps keep me on the straight and narrow!

[BeanoC]

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Just checking in, since my thread dropped to page 2.

I'm now 17 days AF and feeling better than ever! Last night, I got a phone call at 3:30am because an alarm was going off at my office. So I had to jump out of bed, throw on some clothes and run over there. It was no big deal - just a new guy on the night crew who didn't have the code. But, I couldn't help but think at the time, how nice it was that I was able to jump right out of bed, completely sober, no headache or other remnants from a night of overindulgence! No stale beer breath, no red eyes... nothing! I didn't like having to get out of bed in the middle of the night, but it was sure nice to be able to handle it with a clear head.

Tomorrow we leave for college; moving our youngest into the dorms, and then on Saturday we return home to begin the empty nest phase of life! I'm sure it will pose it's share of challenges, including alcohol-related ones, but I feel ready - more ready than I have been in many years. I have had zero desire to drink over these last few days. It just doesn't even sound good. So, I am thankful for that feeling and trying to hold onto it. I will admit I still haven't, in my own mind, made a firm decision that "I will never drink again..."
but I certainly don't plan to any time soon. In a few weeks, or months, I'll see how I feel and go from there. I seriously doubt that I can learn to moderate my drinking - when I was born they forgot to install an off switch. If I have one beer, I'm gonna have 10. Or 12.
So, with that in mind, maybe I will just learn to leave it behind and not drink again. Right now, I don't crave it, I don't miss it, and I don't want it. But I know there will be times in the future when I'll be in a situation or setting where the temptation will be there... so we'll see! Kind of a wishy-washy attitude, I know, but the finality of never drinking again is something I just haven't been able to grasp yet.

Done rambling now. Thoughts??

[tonstantweader]

Time to try again...

Hi Beano,
So glad to hear you are hanging in there. I've actually had a rough week with cravings, but I've managed to stave them off. This is always one of my most stressful weeks because classes start Monday, and it's just generally hell.
Ihave ahd the same thoughts about being so drunk at night that if something did happen to one of my kids (they are all out of the house) in the middle of the night, I'd be too drunk to react well. I wake up every morning so grateful that I didn't drink the night before.
I'm also teaching two classes this semester so it will feel good to know I won't be teaching with a cloudy, hazy brain.

[tonstantweader]

Time to try again...

Hey Beano, How you doin'? Don't think I'm not watching you!

[BeanoC]

Time to try again...

I'm doing well, thank you! Just returned from taking our daughter to college, so that was a very difficult thing. We went out to dinner twice with friends - once to a Mexican restaurant, and there were enchiladas, tacos, margaritas and beer everywhere. I had a salad and 5 glasses of water. Next night, we went to a fancy-schmancy restaurant with steaks, lobster, etc. and an impressive wine list. I had salmon, veggies and 5 glasses of water. LOL My friends asked me if I was sick - not in a sarcastic way, but being serious, since I didn't drink, and barely ate. I simply replied 'no, I just need to be cutting back'. And that was that.

Now that we're back home, the temptation this evening is pretty strong. It was a long drive home (6 hours), and it's still almost 90 degrees here. All is quiet, and the temptation to enjoy a few cold beers is huge. But, I've been there before! So I'll just focus on something else and move on. Tomorrow marks 3 weeks sober for me, and I'll be damned if I am gonna screw it up now and miss that mark! But I'll admit, 3 weeks isn't a very long time, but it sure seems like it's been forever since I had a beer. I'm still feeling like I am kinda in limbo, so to speak, not knowing if I am going to resolve to make this a permanent thing, or just what... oh well. One day at a time.


So how are YOU doing??

[tonstantweader]

Time to try again...

Good to hear you are still on track! Note that I changed my avatar to DP. Her look is a reminder of what I don't want to become!
I still haven't even tried going out to a real dinner yet, but maybe i'll give it a try this week. This Tuesday will be four week for me and Sept. 2nd will be a month. I'm pretty committed to staying AF. I know that if I start again, it will be downhill from then on and I am so happy to be free of the control alcohol had over my life.
Now I'm glued to hurricane coverage. Have two kids in DC and one at a wedding in Mass. tonight. She heads home to Nova Scotia tomorrow, so I am hoping Irene fizzles out before getting to Canada and that she can outrun it while headed north.