So called friends encouraging you to drink too much

[wine lover]

Anyone else experience a so call friend/friends encouraging you to drink, I have been observing a "friend" of mine lately, who knows I worry about my drinking as I live alone and am 60 +, filling up my glass when it is half empty and encouraging me to mix drinks, she is careful about her own consumption most of the time but not always, but appears to like having the power over me and seems to get satisfaction when I give in and feel terrible the next day. I know it is my own fault to allow this to happen and am trying very hard at the moment to keep away from her as much as possible. She is a very jealous person even about friendships but like most people has a lot of good points. Anybody else unfortunate enough to have such "friends" ?

[rubywillow]

So called friends encouraging you to drink too much

Wine, the tried and true is, they're not your friends, or friends who either don't have or are denying their problems.

[looking for peace]

So called friends encouraging you to drink too much

She doesn't seem like a really good friend if she's topping off your drinks. It seems to me that she is just jealous of your decision to cut down. She may also feel better about herself if she has you to compare herself with. So if you drink more than she does, she looks better than you. Also, she may be afraid that she's loosing her drinking buddy. Maybe you can just talk to her and sincerely ask her to help you out in this. If she continues, it may be time to spend less time with her.

I have a sister and some friends that push drinks. I don't like it. I also have some that really look down on non drinkers. It upsets me that this is the only drug that you have to worry about people's opinions when you don't want to indulge. Who would say that about heroin? Who would even say that about cigarettes?

[jessie]

So called friends encouraging you to drink too much

Wine, I got to the point that I realized that I'll have to drop some friends if they try and push me towards drinking. I was totally honest to my best friends about my drinking. A close relation actually wanted me to drop certain friends immediately. But luckily, my friends were real friends and they made a point of keeping my glass filled with non alcoholic drinks.
But yes, I was , and still is, ready to drop those who don't support me.
I would also suggest that you have a good talk with your friend.

[brittzak]

So called friends encouraging you to drink too much

Many times we have to get new non-drinking friends!

[Doggygirl]

So called friends encouraging you to drink too much

The people who encouraged me to drink drink drink are no longer part of my life. Not in a mean way - just in the way it has to be.

I have new sober friends now and that is the way it needs to be.

I had to change my "people, places and things" to support my decision to have an AF life.

DG

[DriftyAlison0]

So called friends encouraging you to drink too much

wine lover;1163949 wrote: Anyone else experience a so call friend/friends encouraging you to drink, I have been observing a "friend" of mine lately, who knows I worry about my drinking as I live alone and am 60 +, filling up my glass when it is half empty and encouraging me to mix drinks, she is careful about her own consumption most of the time but not always, but appears to like having the power over me and seems to get satisfaction when I give in and feel terrible the next day. I know it is my own fault to allow this to happen and am trying very hard at the moment to keep away from her as much as possible. She is a very jealous person even about friendships but like most people has a lot of good points. Anybody else unfortunate enough to have such "friends" ?

I have a friend that likes to drink, and tries to invite people to drink (course he is a karaoke host, but he pushes getting drunk etc. He is better with me with him knowing that I quit drinking, but still occasionally tries to see if I will drink, but I just refuse and he drops it.

[BzzBee62]

So called friends encouraging you to drink too much

You say this person knows you worry about drinking, but have you specifically told them that you would rather that they don't encourage you to drink? Some people need to be told what is wrong in a rather direct manner, I'm afraid. It's not that they don't care about you, but rather that they simply don't realize what they are doing.

For example, my wife used to encourge me to finish off the rest of the meal rather than throw it away. Instead of making less food, she would continue making the same amounts and telling me to eat it up "so it doesn't go to waste." Once I was too fat, she would look at me in despair and tell me that I needed to lose weight.

But, hang on a minute! It was me who was eating the food. She wan't exactly shoving down my throat. She was just being friendly by encouraging me to enjoy the meal.

Maybe you just need to be a bit more direct, but remain friendly?

Buzz.

[wine lover]

So called friends encouraging you to drink too much

Thanks all for your replies, very encouraging. I have to admit I am not very assertive and of course weak when asked to join in for a glass of wine or two by this friend who happens to live very close and knows when I'm alone, but I now certainly intend to make it very clear to her that I want to stop drinking , she knows it worries my family and they have noticed her topping me up when they express their concerns. So yes it's up to me to be strong not anybody elses fault but mine. :thanks: all

Have been away from MWO forums for a long time, but it's now the right time to get back. Great place, great people

[wine lover]

So called friends encouraging you to drink too much

DriftyAlison0;1164098 wrote: I have a friend that likes to drink, and tries to invite people to drink (course he is a karaoke host, but he pushes getting drunk etc. He is better with me with him knowing that I quit drinking, but still occasionally tries to see if I will drink, but I just refuse and he drops it.

Away this weekend, planned some time ago, and I know it will involve a few drinks. Hope to join in on the AF August on my return. Had a look at the thread and it is very very encouraging. Thank you so much for letting me know about it. I look forward to joining in.