HBO documentary, Taconic Parkway accident

[looking for peace]

if anybody has HBO, there is a documentary about the accident two years ago in which a drunken mother drives the wrong way on the Taconic Parkway in New York and kills herself, 4 kids and 3 other people. It is very chilling. It's called "Somethings Wrong with Aunt Jane" Her family (supposedly) had no idea she was an alcoholic and still deny the numerous toxicology reports that state she was indeed drunk the afternoon of the accident.

It really highlights how secretively a lot f women drink. I kept thinking that she was a more heavy duty version of me. I am a poster child for secretly topping off drinks and having a stash in the closet. I have driven with too much to drink with my kids in the car and am so ashamed and thankful I didn't hurt anyone. Thank god I haven't done that in years.


I think that things may be acceptable for men to do are totally unacceptable and embarassing for women and mothers to admit. I think this is a hidden problem and I hope more women that see this seek help instead of continuing to hide.

[Doggygirl]

HBO documentary, Taconic Parkway accident

looking for peace - I think you are so right about women heading into isolation and managing to hide very bad alcohol problems for a very long time.

There is one thing I noticed in your post - that you think she was a heavier duty version of you. I can't speak for you - I can only speak for myself. She was not a heavier duty version of me. I was a vastly luckier version of her - and that is the only difference I see between her and I.

I am thankful each and every day that I found recovery before I caused something tragic. But for the grace of God there go I...

DG

[rubywillow]

HBO documentary, Taconic Parkway accident

Peace, I have memories and nightmares about doing that very thing with my most beloveds. I'd rather have died than hurt them, yet I drank on long trips when they were entrusted to me. 'There goes I but for the Grace of God'. I have yet to overcome my (and their) memories. Great to put this out there.

[ATLThrash]

HBO documentary, Taconic Parkway accident

When is this on? Her family was just adamant that she did not drink if i recall.

[looking for peace]

HBO documentary, Taconic Parkway accident

You are right. I have been very lucky that I have never hurt anyone in an accident.

The HBO special started this Monday and is repeated periodically, you have to check your listings. It coincides with the 2nd anniversary of the accident and also coincides with the husband of the drunk driver suing the state of New York for improper sinage on the thruway and his suing the father of the 3 nieces that were killed in the accident because it was his van that this lady borrowed for the trip.

The husband and sister in law have been denying her being drunk for the last two years despite numerous experts and toxicology reports saying she was over twice the legal limit and had a lot of pot in her system. It's really ridiculous to be in such denial. Although I don't think they are in denial. They are just covering their asses because if they admitted she was a drunk, they might be sued. Instead they are claiming she might have has a stroke or something like that, even though there's absolutely no proof of that, there's a ton of proof she was really drunk and high.

It's just so tragic

[looking for peace]

HBO documentary, Taconic Parkway accident

I forgot to add this to my previous post.


The name of the documentary is actually "There's Someting Wrong with Aunt Dianne"and the title refers to the last thing the 8 year old niece said to her father on her cell phone before she died. IF you get HBO On Demand you can see it there too..

[rubywillow]

HBO documentary, Taconic Parkway accident

Some people, God help them, will entrust the most precious gifts in life - their children, to anyone, even if they know that person is impaired in any way. I made some terrible mistakes, but never to that point (not trying redeem myself ever for what I've done). When AL or a substance claims our brain, we forget about anything but our next 'fix' of what we need or want. What a horrible consequence of a 'good time.' If I thought of all the children and animals being hurt, neglected, tonight, I couldn't sleep.

[Laurel74]

HBO documentary, Taconic Parkway accident

That HBO documentary hit home for me. I identify with Diane Schuler. Timing of that special was a wake up call fOr me. I DVR'd it and watch it to remind myself of where I could end up if I continue to drink. Very powerful message. I just don't get how much in denial her family is.

[ATLThrash]

HBO documentary, Taconic Parkway accident

I did see it on demand tonight. One thing I was struck by was the discussion of the mom never talking about problems and doing everything for the family-- and the husband admitting to the sister in law (in relation to counseling for the surviving boy) that he had not wanted kids and that the mom had agreed to be the one to do all for them. It made me think that perhaps they were a family that really did not talk about their problems at all and so there is a chance that he was not aware of a problem or the extent of one. With the opposite work schedules I could see how she could drink and he would not know. Of course, I thought the family's denial was insane and in a way, pretty much assured that what they did not want (her to be villified) was going to happen since it was so unreasonable. The only thing that gave me pause was when they spoke of the confused cell calls and the child saying something was wrong with her and the surviving boy saying mommy could not see and she had a headache. I could see a slim possibility that she might have drank and smoked marijuana in amounts she thought were small and then something could have happened physically that made her drink much more in orer to self medicate pain she was feeling (since she stopped for some meds at the convenience store and did not seem impaired). I do think though just like the old doc they had consulting with them (Werner Spitz) that the initial decision to drink and smoke pot -- there was nothing to indicate anything that took over her ability to know she was doing it at least at first. Seems the autopsy would note a stroke or aneurysm if it was there-- and I could not think of one thing that could have explained getting out of control otherwise excpet that she was intoxicated. While I can understand her family not wanting to think that they did not really know her at all after she died--the attitude of the husband really showed implicitly that most people believe those who drink are drunk, bad people when in reality it is a disease , not a moral failing. It is too bad they did not explore what is probably the truth-- that like lots of young moms this lady was hiding her drinking and using it to cope becasue she flet she had to be perfect. I am not in any way excusing her drinking and driving-- but as her situation and some recent studiess show-- this hidden drinking by highly functioning women is becoming an alarming trend.

[looking for peace]

HBO documentary, Taconic Parkway accident

I think the story of Diane Sculer shows me 2 things at least. One is that it is fairy easy to hide a drinking problem for many women and that many more women than men tend to hide it. We can be very sneaky. But that's just one more thing to add to the self loathing.....the guilt over the deceit and the lies. The other is that even if you think you can handle just a little to take the edge off or to make a pain go away, chances are you cant. Once you have that first taste even, all bets are off.

[rubywillow]

HBO documentary, Taconic Parkway accident

LOP, you said it.