I must stop because now I feel like I'm actually dying

[medic]

I'm surprised I survived the night. I have been drinking serious amounts of alcohol for a couple of weeks and despite nursing a sore back and right side for the last three days I drank again last night: a bottle of cheap cider and a bottle of strong red wine on top of it. I feel awful today like I could fall down. Strangely my side and back pain has subsided but I am so weak. I have decided today that I am quitting this habit once and for all. It's a stupid habit and I know my days are numbered if it continues.

I plan, hopefully from tomorrow if I get my strength back, to start running daily and use this to get rid of my anxiety instead of using alcohol. I plan on going on a strict vegetarian diet again (with lowered self esteem I lapsed with this too after many years of non-meat eating) to feel better like I used to. I plan on using the samaritans for when it gets too much instead of drinking alcohol. I plan on healing myself instead of hurting myself like I have been doing for too long. I plan to stop self harming, to stop lying, to stop gossiping, to stop hating myself...

This drinking business is complete bullshit.

[kaza]

I must stop because now I feel like I'm actually dying

Hello Medic
You don't know me, but I have just read your post. You poor Darling, you sound so lost and yes, frightened. Do you have anyone close to you that you can confide in? You know a problem shared is a problem halved. Is there a particular reason that has made you drink "serious amounts of alcohol" for a couple of weeks? You should maybe get a medical opinion about your side and back pain, it could be any number of things that if seen to could be easily treated. When you say you are weak, do you mean from hunger, feeling ill or just because you are drinking? My very dear friend, please don't suffer alone, you have come to the right place and everyone at MWO can and will help you, so please keep posting. Reach out and the very wonderful people here will always respond and help you in every possible way they can. Take baby steps, don't try and do too much too soon, take it slow, think it through, and stop and think, be kind to yourself, learn to love yourself, that's a start. I don't know your background or circumstances, but I know that you are hurting badly and need help, love and support. I get the feeling that you are being too hard on yourself, try and ease up and don't beat yourself up - you know we can be our own worst enemy. Coming here will help you find the way to recovery. You can vent, scream, kick and say whatever - you will not be judged you will be cared for. Just remember you are not alone and all of us at some stage or another have been exactly where you are now. So don't give up, know that we are always there. So my friend, take deep breaths, relax, focus on something good in your mind and come here because we can help you and we will. PM me if you would like. Take Care, Love and Sunshine Always Kaza xx

[Unwasted]

I must stop because now I feel like I'm actually dying

Medic, you are right. Drinking is absolute insanity and self-harm. I'm pretty new, but just wanted you to know that I'm with you in spirit (no pun intended)! I hope you can do it this time. Do you think you need some medical help to get started? Wishing the best for you. Do post -- it helps so much. I've been reading some good addiction books which I find really worthwhile. Take good care!

[e10]

I must stop because now I feel like I'm actually dying

Hi Medic

I know how you feel. Drinking has resulted in my life being in total chaos. Like you, I have decided that it all stops today. All the best on your journey forward.

[bella10388]

I must stop because now I feel like I'm actually dying

medic;1164753 wrote: I'm surprised I survived the night. I have been drinking serious amounts of alcohol for a couple of weeks and despite nursing a sore back and right side for the last three days I drank again last night: a bottle of cheap cider and a bottle of strong red wine on top of it. I feel awful today like I could fall down. Strangely my side and back pain has subsided but I am so weak. I have decided today that I am quitting this habit once and for all. It's a stupid habit and I know my days are numbered if it continues.

I plan, hopefully from tomorrow if I get my strength back, to start running daily and use this to get rid of my anxiety instead of using alcohol. I plan on going on a strict vegetarian diet again (with lowered self esteem I lapsed with this too after many years of non-meat eating) to feel better like I used to. I plan on using the samaritans for when it gets too much instead of drinking alcohol. I plan on healing myself instead of hurting myself like I have been doing for too long. I plan to stop self harming, to stop lying, to stop gossiping, to stop hating myself...

This drinking business is complete bullshit.

Thanks you for the post.

[Doggygirl]

I must stop because now I feel like I'm actually dying

I'm here rooting for you too Medic. Don't be afraid to reach out for every piece of help available to get sober. It's worth it.

DG

[choice]

I must stop because now I feel like I'm actually dying

Hang in there medic. I think your plan sounds very good. I think as you find strength to follow it you'll feel so much better. :l

[spuddleduck]

I must stop because now I feel like I'm actually dying

hi medic. hope youre feeling better. ive not been around for a while and just logged on and saw your post. i hope you can keep that strength and determination up. you have been a great help to me in the past

[universal]

I must stop because now I feel like I'm actually dying

Hi Medic,

Take care of yourself today, drink lots of water and if you are feeling really shaky or sick, get to a hospital if possible. Withdrawal from alcohol can kill you. I almost died many times during my addiction and it is a scary place.

Take care of yourself and feel better soon.