I am more anxious about going back into work in an hour and a half, and beginning to confront/deal with who knows about (what I thought could remain) my secret. I have imagined conversations with the one who did the info spreading. I won't see him until Monday, but I definitely want to make sure he doesn't show/tell any more people. It's hurtful. And, although it is public information, I still don't think it is appropriate to walk around work with your i Phone playing show and tell with someone's mugshot.
I had a message on my phone yesterday, from someone who wants to interview me for another job. Until yesterday I was feeling safe and welcome at work. Not so much anymore. I feel judged and scrutinized. I am entertaining the idea of a new job. We shall see.
But, here I am, 30 days AF. It's been easier since I have avoided every possible situation that could involve alcohol. I'm incredibly lonely, but not drinking. So, that counts for something.
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