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    #31
    My partner abused me for the first time. Help

    Happy Belated Birthday Rebirth

    "Gosh missH- I shuddered when I read your post.Poor you! I am so glad you are out of this relationship but I can see how easy it was to stay in it. So have you chosen a better partner this time? I will never forget what my partner did to me. Never.It was on my fortieth birthday. My night was spoilt and it will remain a bad memory for the rest of my life.."

    Rebirth, I hope my post didn't scare you, but I thought it was important to share. I am married to a completely different man now for almost 10 yrs who has never once physically or verbally abused me. There are men out there who don't abuse...ever.
    If you stay with your partner I wish you all the best, and I pray you don't forget what happened and that it NEVER happens again. If you choose to leave this relationship then I can tell you that there can be happy endings with someone else.

    Good luck to you Rebirth.

    MissH

    Comment

      #32
      My partner abused me for the first time. Help

      I hope my post didn't scare you, but I thought it was important to share. I am married to a completely different man now for almost 10 hrs who has never once physically or verbally abused me. There are men out there who don't abuse.
      If you stay with your partner I wish you all the best, and I pray you don't forget what happened. If you choose to leave this relationship then I can tell you that there can be happy endings with someone else.

      Good luck to you Rebirth.

      MissH

      Comment

        #33
        My partner abused me for the first time. Help

        Hi Lav. x

        Hi missH- Your post didnt scare me at all. I appreciate the honesty as it helps me a great deal.


        I woke up this morning and did something very impulsive. I ended the relationship..I am shocked that I did that...and I am absolutely devastated. But I followed my head this morning. My partner is beside himself.He is begging for another chance. I just feel numb about the whole thing. We have to meet next week to swap keys, clothes, dvds, etc

        Oh God.
        Be strong-
        We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
        Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

        Comment

          #34
          My partner abused me for the first time. Help

          Re,


          I dont think I can add any good advice, much has been given, but I can tell you I feel for you and your sadness, and wish I could just make it go away.

          It sounds like you have made your decision, I know it will be hard either way.


          I wish you good luck and happiness in the future!
          Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




          DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

          Comment

            #35
            My partner abused me for the first time. Help

            Just want to let you know rebirth that am thinking of you and big :l x
            Formerly known as Teardrop:l
            sober dry since 11th Jan '2010' relapse/slip on 23/7/13 working in progress ! Sober date 25/7/13 ( True learning has often followed an eclipse, a time of darkness, but with each cycle of my recovery, the light grows stronger and my vision is clearer. (AA)
            my desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful then my desire to drink !

            Comment

              #36
              My partner abused me for the first time. Help

              rebirth;1168679 wrote: Hi Lav. x

              Hi missH- Your post didnt scare me at all. I appreciate the honesty as it helps me a great deal.


              I woke up this morning and did something very impulsive. I ended the relationship..I am shocked that I did that...and I am absolutely devastated. But I followed my head this morning. My partner is beside himself.He is begging for another chance. I just feel numb about the whole thing. We have to meet next week to swap keys, clothes, dvds, etc

              Oh God.
              Well RB. There was a reason deep inside why you ended it. Take care, and take strength from your good friends here if that helps, and elsewhere. Let us know how you are going will you?

              'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

              Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

              Comment

                #37
                My partner abused me for the first time. Help

                Rebirth, it must be a relief to have come to a decision. That is often quite difficult. I guess your heart let you know that is what is right for your at this time and it's good that you listened as hard as it must be.
                sigpic
                Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

                Comment

                  #38
                  My partner abused me for the first time. Help

                  rebirth;1168679 wrote: Hi Lav. x

                  Hi miss- Your post didn't scare me at all. I appreciate the honesty as it helps me a great deal.


                  I woke up this morning and did something very impulsive. I ended the relationship..I am shocked that I did that...and I am absolutely devastated. But I followed my head this morning. My partner is beside himself.He is begging for another chance. I just feel numb about the whole thing. We have to meet next week to swap keys, clothes, dvds, etc

                  Oh God.
                  Rebirth wishing you all the best for the future,as been said already you know deep down inside of yourself what is the right decision to take.


                  :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

                  Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
                  I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

                  This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

                  Comment

                    #39
                    My partner abused me for the first time. Help

                    Rebirth I will be thinking about you

                    rebirth;1168679 wrote: Hi Lav. x

                    Hi missH- Your post didnt scare me at all. I appreciate the honesty as it helps me a great deal.


                    I woke up this morning and did something very impulsive. I ended the relationship..I am shocked that I did that...and I am absolutely devastated. But I followed my head this morning. My partner is beside himself.He is begging for another chance. I just feel numb about the whole thing. We have to meet next week to swap keys, clothes, dvds, etc

                    Oh God.
                    I am sending you lots of positive thoughts right now. Good luck next week and I know there are lots of wonderful things in store for you!

                    MissH

                    Comment

                      #40
                      My partner abused me for the first time. Help

                      Rebirth - :l I just want to add my support. I have always admired your single mindedness and focus and you will get through this and be a stronger person. We are all here whenever you need to vent.

                      Love Chill
                      "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
                      AF - JAN 1st 2010
                      NF - May 1996

                      Comment

                        #41
                        My partner abused me for the first time. Help

                        Rebirth, I admire you for having the strength to make the decision that you felt in your HEAD was right, despite your other feelings. I know this is really hard. You can count me in as another one of your supporters here.

                        DG
                        Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                        Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

                        One day at a time.

                        Comment

                          #42
                          My partner abused me for the first time. Help

                          Hi Rebirth. I agree with what the others said about your strength and listening to your inner voice. I would suggest you get someone else to change things over if you think you may weaken. This decision may not be forever, but you did say you acted on impulse and I would hate to see you set yourself up for a roller coaster of chaos. If it is meant to be, then let him do the work and give yourself time to see where you really want to be as well. Wishing you a bright and beautiful future. xo
                          Psalms 119:45


                          ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

                          St. Francis of Assisi



                          I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

                          :rays:

                          Comment

                            #43
                            My partner abused me for the first time. Help

                            Wise words RC. I agree if there is a way to swap belonging without meeting up it would be better. It's going to be a very emotional and upsetting meeting for you both. Like RC says this doesn't have to be forever, but for now it gives you the space you need and him the time to work this through.
                            "In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer ."
                            AF - JAN 1st 2010
                            NF - May 1996

                            Comment

                              #44
                              My partner abused me for the first time. Help

                              Thank you all for comments. Means alot to me.

                              RC and Chill- I am very worried about this meeting. It's going to be really emotional..seeing his sadness in his eyes. I still care for him very deeply.

                              But I cant get out of it because it's only fair to talk in person. We will not have seen each other in three weeks and we have only been texting. I think it's very disrespectful to dump someone by text.
                              Be strong-
                              We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
                              Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

                              Comment

                                #45
                                My partner abused me for the first time. Help

                                Roller coaster of chaos is NOT what I want in my life.
                                Be strong-
                                We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worse that has been done to us.
                                Be constructive. Clear the word of CAN'T

                                Comment

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