Bean update

[Bean]

Hey everyone
Just reaching out. Not sure where to post - I jump all over the place. Was on AF then Mods then now...I don't know where to put myself or this. I'm not at all new to MWO so Newbies nest doesn't feel right.

I'm back to a bad drinking place (inevitable for most I guess) and more worried than ever about what I'm doing to my health.

Tonight I read back through my old posts - one that made me really sad was from 4 years ago and it was almost identical to something I wrote a few weeks ago. However, what was really heartening was the recognition that, back then, I was drinking just about every single day and didn't have a clue about how to break that cycle. Since then i have had one period of 10 weeks AF and one of 3.5 month (and they were both great). And these days I don't drink every day, except I have been lately. Oh, and those days, I never drank in the morning/day and now I do (but only occasionally!)

Everything changes.

And the VERY BEST THING about reading back through my old posts was seeing messages from people like Brittzak, DG, Popeye, Betty Boop, Green Eyes, PapMom3 and many others (i'm sorry I forget everyone) who were so early on their journeys and look at them now?!!! AMAZING YOU GUYS!! You are a total inspiration. Thank you so much for what you bring to the MWO table.(and everyone else that I've missed out). I'd like to include Ne/Neva here because although I don't take meds, I sometimes read that thread and think she writes superbly.

I really want to be part of this community but find myself constantly struggling to find the right forum. Which makes me think there is room here for a thread for people who are completely messed up about whether to be AF or Mod and need that place right in between. I think I'm gonna start it!!

Signing off...
Bean

[sunshinetoday]

Bean update

Bean,

My heart goes out to you. I could easily see myself where I once was, if it were not for this place. I agree it is hard to find a fit sometimes on here. Though I have been here long enough I kind of just picked a thread and said here I am, and I'm staying here. What I have come to find is you can post ANYWHERE and get support/feedback. Even though I do not always post, I always read/listen.

I think the biggest reason I changed my ways is because I should be dead a few times over because of AL. Also, I would like my health to be top notch, and I'm pretty sure my liver wasn't far off from pickling in a jar. I just want to live life longer, and share 30 years with my partner. All I can say is you are definitely not alone. Please take good care of yourself.:h:h

[RingingCedars]

Bean update

Bean, most people will agree, I just jump all over the place, depending on the topic or my mood, I guess. My biggest problem is not asking for help. This is a hard thing for many of us, I am sure. Pride, embarrassment, whatever.... There are times, I've PM'd someone to go into private chat to seek their advice. MWO folks are such great resources and support. So, I commend you on spilling how you are feeling. That itself is progress imo. It can only help you to keep moving forward and to journal your progress or lack of will help others who may be feeling hopeless and not even post such thoughts. Hang in there and keep fighting the good fight. xo

[Chillgirl]

Bean update

Bean - I remember so clearly being a newbie too and being in awe of so many of the members here. I used to use the chat room a lot and repeatedly asked the question of all the ones with 6 months plus "how is your life really?" "are you happy?" I was fascinated by how there lives really were without AL. Now I'm there myself and I just want you to know that it is absolutely wonderful and worth every single minute of the work necessary to get there.

It's great your here, it's great you want the support available, if you want it badly enough you will do it. Stay close, I could not have done it without the amazing people here.

Sunshine - is that your dog? He or she is absolutely gorgeous! Those eyes are just pure love.