Alone

[bouchard01]

We say that we are not alone & we aren't because we see so many people on here with the exact same stories & struggles .... but .... we are really alone because is it us & only us that can stop this cycle. We have to do it for ourselves, get our bodies healthy. Yes, we can do it for our families, our children, our grandchildren .... but .... we are still the ones who have to step up make the decision to stop .... enough!

Why is it that I am slowly killing myself with this poison when this year alone I have watched a nephew commit suicide at the young age of 21, we will never know why? Then my beautiful sister in law fights liver cancer & dies at the young age of 38, why we will never know. A beautiful cyber friend is battling breast cancer, fighting so hard & blogging about it & here I still slowly killing myself .... when I have so much to live for.

I'm still here & I'm going to try again & I'm going to keep trying until I do this once & for all.

[rubywillow]

Alone

Bouchard, it's not what others do, it's what we are fighting, despite our experiences. What can I say to help you fight your battle? You are not alone.

[bouchard01]

Alone

Thanks Ruby and I really like your quote ... so you did help me without even knowing it. I guess last night when I couldn't sleep, was having the night sweats I was doing all that thinking and just woke up and wrote it down. I know I'm going to have to taper from the 1 1/2 bottles down but I'm going to try my hardest to do this .... Thanks for replying to me ....

[rubywillow]

Alone

Any time, Bouchard. I only gave a short reply. But yes, taper, and thenmake a plan for what you really want your life to be. AL becomes the ALL to too many, and it robs us of our identity, and our life. Call on me any time.

[tonstantweader]

Alone

HI Bouchard,
I know it may feel as if you are all alone and doing this yourself, but you really aren't and just by coming on here and posting you have reached out. You have really had a lot to deal with recently, but drinking isn't going to help you get through these tough situations; it will only make it worse.

I do agree, though, that you are the only one who can make this decision and you have to really commit to being alcohol free. There are lots of us here for you, so keep reaching out.

[rubywillow]

Alone

Good answer, Ton, and I LOVE (and understand!) your name.

[BeanoC]

Alone

Our situations (and mindset) are similar, bouchard. My brother died at 48, a homicide victim.
He was quite intoxicated at the time. His killer has never been caught. I started drinking more heavily than ever after that day, 3 years ago this month. Last month, my brother-in-law died at 56 from undiagnosed lung cancer. By the time they caught it, it was stage 4 and he died 3 weeks later. I was very, very close to both of them and it sent me right off the deep end.
My brother-in-law's funeral was July 31st. After the funeral, I got completely drunk, and every day after that until Sunday, August 7th. On that day, while nursing a nasty hangover and trying to chase it away with a few more beers, something inside me finally screamed ENOUGH! I haven't had a drop since that day; now 3 and half weeks. That's not very long, but when you drink a 12 pack every day, 7 days a week, 3+ weeks sober seems like a very long time!

Anyway, enough of me. Point is, many of us here understand where you are and what you're going through. I have seen more tragedy and death than most people ever will (I operate a funeral home), and I realized that I have too much to live for to slowly kill myself when others are fighting for their lives in a battle they can't win. I am still struggling, every day, but it's a long battle and we have to take it a day at a time.

Please let me know if I can help you.

'Beano'