Hating myself again!!!

[Georgie]

Read through the entire "you know you are an alcoholic when...." thread and could definitely relate. Drank last night Again! After I was sure I wouldn't (I can visualize the devil laughing at me) it is 6:30 am Eastern USA , I'm lying here with a headache, ashamed, pissed off at myself and all of those feelings so well described on the thread mentioned above. Why then do I keep falling for that small whisper that says "it'll be ok if you drink"? I pray and pray for God to just make me normal again like I used to be, I know things could be worse (heaven forbid) but am I praying wrong? Maybe He is just to busy with this crazy world. I don't want to do this anymore and I don't want to lose anything/anyone else.

[mario]

Hating myself again!!!

Hi georgie unfortunately we need a bit more than praying (imo) to beat this horrible depressing disease,But that does help some,Most of us all knew when we were drinking that it was killing us,most of us promised and prayed especially in the day afters that we need to stop this madness that is wrecking our own and a lot of others lives,At least your acknowledging you have a problem that's a little start,Read the many other posts here,join one of the threads for newbies where everybody helps and encourages others it all will help and beating this can be done as witnessed by the many people here who have quit drinking,You need to put some plans & goals into operation so check out the tool box in the monthly absence thread, good luck and give yourself a chance.

[DriftyAlison0]

Hating myself again!!!

I depended on God to help me with this quit. But I didn't rely on just him, I made up a plan and stuck to it. I had my support team and with the help of God AND them, I was able to do it.

Day 106

PS I still have a support team and I use them still to this day.

[lil.michelle]

Hating myself again!!!

God can Only give you strength and show you what you need to do. You are the only one with the power to quit.
These voices trip most up but you need to be strong and say no to them! They'll get smaller in time but will always be there! We just grow stronger against them and soon it becomes like a voice in a crowd.. Yes it's there, can we hear it no, not unless we strain too!
Stay strong

[RG]

Hating myself again!!!

Georgie

Don't hate yourself - put it down to being a day where you didn't win. The way I see it is that the start (which is where I am at) is two steps forward and one step back. I didn't win yesterday - but I sure as hell am going to today - and tomorrow - well, we'll see!! ODAT - it's all we can do.

Be kind to yourself

RG

[Barbara1234]

Hating myself again!!!

Georgie,

I had 10 yrs. of that "little voice". One day I had enough and put my self loathing aside and went to the Doctor.
All I told him was that my family has a history of alcoholism and I am afraid it might be effecting me since I drink 2-3 times a week. I told him I wanted to stop before it got any worse.
What the truth was, is that I was drinking 2 bottles of wine every night and more on the weekends. Plus sometimes I switched to vodka and was drinking almost a full bottle a day.
He put me on campral and I drank for 3 months through the medication, even though the medication was working, it was working!

One day I said "enough". I followed the tool box here, got the CD's which I still listen to every night while I fall asleep to subliminal AL messages.
I stayed at the newbies nest for a long time, and got L-Glut which curbs sugar cravings.
For me, I couldn't just pray (which I did) and hope I could stop. I had to take charge because suicide was on my mind a lot.

Now I am 106 days AF. I still do my plan every day. I get encouragement here, and I am about to go off the campral for a test to see if my brain chemistry has changed enough for me to do it without medication. If not, I will go back on it, but I will do what I have to do to never drink again.

[Lavande]

Hating myself again!!!

Georgie,
Don't hate yourself, it's a useless waste of time & energy!
I was raised to believe that 'God helps those who help themselves'. God is watching over all of us I'm sure but you have to do the work! Use the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html and make yourself a good plan.
Get rid of any AL left in your house & make a firm commitment that you will not drink each & every day!

I highly recommend the Hypno CDs. They were a true blessing for me & worth the investment. I am 892 days AF today because I did what I had to do to help myself.

The support at MWO is priceless.

[DriftyAlison0]

Hating myself again!!!

Another thing that I have used that helped me get to 107 days sober is to change from I hope I can thinking to I know that I can thinking. In previous attempts, I used I hope and didn't get the results that I thought that I would have. But now I say I can do this, and poof its helping me stay quit (as well as my other tools).

[Georgie]

Hating myself again!!!

Thank you everyone

Thanks to everyone for your support I am feeling better and more optimistic. Congrats to all who are winning the war. You guys are my inspiration!
:thanks:G