Just saying

[Flossie]

Hi All,

I`m just frustrated as I feel so angry as to why I am anable to control myself where
drink is concerned and I find myself in an awful position and its going to be bug me as each way there`s no winner.
My good friend and neighbour has been admitted to a hospice as she is now extremely life limited, each time I visit the drinks trolley comes around and each day we are both offered an AL drink and the lovely Ann has a wee sherry and each day she says please join me as I haven`t got long left and we`ll never do it again and each day I refuse which upsets her but I know that just one simple drink would set me off on a fest, its just what I do, so all I`m saying is how the hell did I end up so bad that I can`t even have a final drink with a friend
Luv Flo x

[JackieClaire]

Just saying

Oh Flossie, hun.:l

What can I say. Firstly it's wonderful that you recognize where even one small drink will lead us.
All I can say to you is to keep your health first and foremost. If your friend knew your dilemma I'm sure she would want you to put your sobriety and health at the top of your list.

The only way I can think of to get away from this is to say you'll have a glass of something, perhaps cola, lemonade and clink glasses. It's still part of the ritual and you can still toast yourselves.

I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this with a close friend, I know this isn't easy. My best friend died 6 years ago this month from cancer.

J x
:l

[rubywillow]

Just saying

Flossie, next time take your own wee juice or sparkling water and have a toast with her. It's the act that counts, and good for you, knowing the consequences of 'one wee sherry'.

[Doggygirl]

Just saying

Flossie, first off, I am very sorry to hear that your friend is so ill. It's the friendship that matters here - not the drink.

The more I learn about alcoholism, the more I am convinced that to some degree we are predisposed to be how we are with AL. There are mainly 3 types of people. Those for whom drinking is simply NOT a pleasurable experience, so therefore they drink little or none. There are those who can take it or leave it, and there are people like us. Do not blame yourself or be frustrated because it seems your friend is in the middle category and it seems you are in the third category. On average, one in ten Americans have some degree of problem with AL. Those are just the facts and it's not because we are "bad people."

Knowing this information helps me in situations like the one you are in. I know it's not my fault, and it just is the way it is. If I were alergic to peanuts, my very best friend would not expect me to join her in peanut butter sandwiches - no matter what her situation.

Have you told your friend why you need to say no?

DG