Kicked in the teeth...again.

[Nichau]

Lord I hope this site is confidential...I know that it is, but I still had to say that (and you'll find out why in a minute).

So, got two legal battles that are totally going to hell-in-a-handbasket.

The first revolves around my ex-employer who fired me (and broke a written contract). Unemployment says not only did they "win", but I have to thousands of dollars back to unemployment/them (not sure which entity, exactly). But that is old news; I've posted something about that here before.

The second is regarding an employer who 'hired' me, told me to get software in order to work for them, and then blew me off.

I know, I know, don't air your dirty laundry on the internet. A wise adage, one that I wish I would have heeded. I posted on a forum of writers and publishers, if anyone knew of this employer (good or bad), because I was having problems with them (having purchased the software and a new computer to boot, then they *blinked* out of existence, meaning that they never contacted me again after I purchased what they asked me to).

Well, someone on that forum 'narc-ed' to the employer. He e-mailed me saying that if I took him to court, he would take me to court back for "libel". He accused me of "whining" on this forum about his business, and basically told me to back down or else.

Geez, what the 'f' did I do, to try to do the right thing between my ex-employer and (promised) new employer? I don't lie, cheat or steal. I love critters. My Karma should be pretty good right now, but everything I try to do to stick up for myself, my rights, my ethics, just seems to come back tenfold with really bad stuff.

I don't expect anyone to offer answers here...I'm just really in shock on how my past 6 months have turned out. All the things I try to do to help myself seems for naught, and I'm a person who seldom does things to help myself because a) I have a self-defeating thing going on mentally (always have, and trying to work on it by being ASSERTIVE) and b) every time I TRY to stand up for myself, I get kicked in the teeth.

Sorry for ranting guys, but it's getting pretty close financially for my husband and I to be out on the street (we have about 60 days until it's official) and I'm getting so close to putting a gun in my mouth.

How the hell did it come to this? Sorry again?just feeling bewildered and sorry for myself. I don't know the answers. I wish I did.

[rubywillow]

Kicked in the teeth...again.

Nichau, I don't begin to understand what is going on behind the scenes with you and work. It's SO difficult in this environment, I know (and I'm so glad I'm retired, but not complacent.) I may be overstepping in offering someone's expertise, but why don't you PM ATL. She is very well versed in employment law. I'm sorry, ATL, if I'm offering your help when it's not my place to do it, but N, you sound very desperate. PLEASE, don't mention a gun again. As long as we have tomorrow, things can change. Hubs and I have always been very analytical thinkers when it comes to problems. Have you thought through all the things that led to this? Is AL involved? What are your state laws re: employment? You have to be calm, and think this all through. Stay here, and keep asking for support, please. And remember we have to take charge of our lives, and our futures. Take care, hon.

[Nichau]

Kicked in the teeth...again.

rubywillow,

Thanks. I PMed ATL. You guys are great. Yeah, AL is a factor, at least in the area of depression, for me. Been on-and-off the wagon for some time now. Love whoever's tag-line here is something to the effect of: "There's no problem so big that alcohol can't make it worse." True, true.

Thanks again...

[Doggygirl]

Kicked in the teeth...again.

Nichau, another suggestion I will make is that focusing on past events and employment/employer problems is unlikely to get you on the right financial footing. I know it's frustrating - I've been through a bankruptcy, etc. My BEST effort was spent figuring out how to move forward rather than looking back.

I was also drinking then, and I will just say that I know FOR SURE that AL doesn't help any of this. I didn't fully understand what a negative impact AL was having on me and my situation during that time until I now look back at it. I was in such denial about my problem that I just couldn't see.

Giving up AL and looking ahead for your next job are for sure two things that will help.

I hope everything works out for you.

DG

[rubywillow]

Kicked in the teeth...again.

Best of luck, Nichau. Remember, things change in a minute. We have to be in control of ourselves, since we don't know what comes next. Roll with the punches, and that's true. We can't take anything for granted, so we have to know who we are, and not depend on the rest of the world to be true and honest, and always be the best person we can be. That doesn't mean integrity will be appreciated by others, but it's who we are that matters, and how we answer to ourselves at the end of the day. Opinions of others are fleeting, but we live with who we are. And if we're truly doing our best, we can sleep at night.

[rubywillow]

Kicked in the teeth...again.

Great advice, DG.

[ATLThrash]

Kicked in the teeth...again.

Nichau--I did get your original PM and I have written you about what I need. As for the other situation--you are right that dirty laundry should not be aired on the internet but people do it all the time. A large company I used to work for had an entire message board where the employees vented regularly. Unless there was a threat of violence the company really did not do anything. But you have to remember that you would hate it if anyone wrote their opinion of you and it was poor and then said-- well it's my opinion so tough--can't do a thing. It appears you accused the employer of being dishonest with the job offer and ripping you off. This statement is actually one that can form the basis for libel-- unless it is true. The truth is a complete defense to libel actions. Now-- in reality this employer has bigger things to do than to sue you-- the proof of damages would be difficult and it costs alot ot sue people. Sounds like the employer does though have its hackles up with the threat. If things are as you said and what you said is true then youhave that as a defense. I would definitely disappear from that board and from engaging with anyone from it-- even an apology coul be seen as an admission-- so let it die down if you can.

As for your other situation--I sent you a note asking for some more info. From what I can see you will really have an uphill battle with the appeal just based on what you said to the judge. But before I can suggest what to attack and how I need the info I listed. The denial of benefits may not be appealable at all now based on the order I reviewed-- but if you have any of the things I needed we cna see if that is true-- we may be at the stage where all you can appeal is the amount of money theya re trying to get from you. Sorry about the typos-- I am fighting flu and having to continue all the normal activities since hubs is too busy at work.