getting kicked out

[YoungAtHeart]

getting kicked out

I must respectfully disagree with Kim here too. This isn't just about the liquid! Two people have been drinking here! One person is willing to take ALL the blame, and one person is willing to take NONe of it!!!! Something seems WAY OUT OF SYNC HERE! Becca, "nice guys" don't smash their wive's phones and kick them out of the house for flirting when they have done the same thing themselves just a season or two before!! Nice guys don't deprive their children of their mothers on Christmas.

I have been very gentle about Scott and encouraged counseling and have prayed that a counselor would FINALLY confront Scott about how he controls and manipulates you. At this point, honey, I just want to say, get yourself the best lawyer in town. I want the best for you, and I want the best for your kids, and at your drunkest, you are probably better for your kids than Scott, because at least you realise that you HAVE a problem! I can't say the same for him. YOUR PROBLEM is that you ALWAYS blame yourself, and I hope that you can learn to be gentle with yourself and love yourself, because you are a loving, warm, and wonderful person, even with your faults. I hope that you will start seeing that when you look in the mirror. You deserve so much more than what you have been getting.

Please get a good lawyer, honey!

All my love and support,
Kathy:l

[eustacia]

getting kicked out

Right on, Kathy! I feel that you summed up Becca's situation perfectly!

:heart: E

[C]

getting kicked out

Perfect Kathy. Perfect advice in my opinion, Becca. She says it like a professional, like it is. Take care honey. Keep in touch. Love, C

[C]

getting kicked out

Funny..E..both you & are were posting at the same time with the same thoughts. Have a wonderful holiday Eustacia. Luv, C

[eustacia]

getting kicked out

You, too, Chrysa!:l

:heart: E

[eustacia]

getting kicked out

Becca,

I've been equivocating posting this because I don't want to add to your anxieties if there is nothing you can do to change the situation. My concern is this: I think that you should get your kids back as soon as possible. I am worried that you will be construed to be an abandoning parent should your marriage end up in the courts. Jenneh and Mike could better advise you on this one. Maybe my worry is misplaced but it's been sticking with me for about an hour so I decided that it was important to post it even if it is unsettling. I've probably just upset you more and, for that, I am sorry.

When you feel most alone, remember that all of your pals from MWO are pulling for you and how loved you are!:l

:heart: E

P.S. Mike, you are a sweetheart and you speak wise words to our wonderful Becca!

[YoungAtHeart]

getting kicked out

I am worried that Becca will be considered "abandoning" too, even though she was kicked out, hence my advice about the good lawyer. The law doesn't necessarily consider the psychodynamics of a marriage. Becca, I hope you can hear this in your distress. I only want you to take care of yourself and your kids and protect yourself and stop protecting Scott. He does a great job of protecting himself. You are terrific, love, and we all love you!

[happycamper68]

getting kicked out

Bec please call...

Hon,

I have to reiterate what I said earlier and what everyone else is saying. The abandonment thing is big so you need to get whatever strength you have and pull it together and go home very soon. You are strong. Don't give up. Get a lawyer and get it fast. You are not a bad mom, and he pulled out all the guns and you need to get yours, end of story. You need to see you kids for xmas, you deserve to, don't think you don't and don't let him think you don't.

Love You and please call me!!!!! xoxoxo :l :upset:

[fsophiah]

getting kicked out

I have nothing to add, but I concur on the lawyer part. I don't know much about these situations, but I dont' think you should move out. Also, if E and Kathy, who are both therapists, gave me advice, I'd take it.

[happycamper68]

getting kicked out

Hon don't want to bombard you- take Jenneh's and any others lawyer's advice on the site if you are not ready to go to one. You have invaluable resources here, take advice of the lawyers and seek emotional help from the therapists here as well. Lawyer first though if possible.... And don't forget your friends are here that love you all along the way , but there are things you may probably should do first. I am so sorry you are dealing with this so close to the holidays. Try to see your babies.

Please try to call me though if you can..Very worried about you..:l :h

[Allie]

getting kicked out

Becca -- we lost connection today on our cells. With your permission, Alec and I called your husband. He thought he was going to get blasted, but we assured him that was not our purpose. We have been through this too. (Interestingly, see Thursday on mods board. My world came down and it took me a year of being here to even say it.)

We are here for you. We want you to make it.

You can reach me on my cell anytime. I might not be around here much more though. My heart is completely ripped.

[Rags]

getting kicked out

Becca,

My thoughts are with you. In the middle of your turmoil you have taken the time to chat with me.. that is truly selfless
I'm a long way away in OZ, but can I help in any way?

Fran

[memarcie]

getting kicked out

Becca - My heart goes out to you.

:l

Marcie

[Lucy Van Pelt]

getting kicked out

Becca..

I have not been on the site for a couple of days...and wow, I feel like some of the most special people here are watching their lives crash around their ears!! My heart is breaking for the pain you are in right now. Listen: What you are feeling now is incredible guilt for getting "caught". But PLEASE don't let that guilt guide you to make decisions that are not in your best interests (or your kids!!) Listen to the advice here....Don't let Scott tell you IF and WHEN you can see your kids..... you said in one post that "scott will let me have shared costody"...WHAT IS WITH THAT??? Flirting with someone (or even having a full blown affair ) does not give the other spouse full control over decision making in these matters.

Becca...you don't realize how terrific you are. I don't know why. You are an amazing person. You are a great mom, a good friend, and have so many qualities that I personally admire. If you don't see this in yourself right now, at least take it on faith that others see this in you.

We haven't gotten much chance to talk (yet), but I look forward to getting to know you better in the future, because you are a special person to know. Hang in there....I promise this will get better....even though it is hell right now. I promise. Been there Becca. I promise, I promise, I promise. Just hang on. We are all hanging on with you.


Beth

[C]

getting kicked out

Aw Mike..you are so right..it is not male or female...You are very sweet.