First time here in 15 months

[golfdiva]

This is the 3rd time I've been here and once again, I'm going to try to go alcohol free. Beginning tomorrow. I've found that each time I stop and then start up drinking again, it takes a longer time to get the strength to try to stop. I don't know if I'm an "alcoholic" or not and I guess it doesn't matter. I don't like a lot about my drinking. I've never been in any trouble and my husband buys my wine although I sometimes make a trip so he won't know how much I drink. I love my cabernet. My witching time is around 6:30 or 7:00 in the evening until I go to bed. I drink probably 3/4 bottle each night. It used to be 1/2 so it is increasing. I've been doing this for probably 15 or maybe 20 years -- a long time, and frightening in that it's been so long. I am sluggish in the mornings and certainly don't have the energy I used to. However, maybe it is only that I'm growing older. Here is what I don't like about my drinking in addition to having less energy:
- I don't read much anymore, only watch tv and play on the computer. I used to be an avid reader
- I'm not a good role model for my children. They're both grown but still every occasion includes wine.
- I don't really enjoy going anyplace in the evenings because it interferes with "my" time to drink
- I associate drinking with relaxing
- On a few occasions when the phone rings in the evenings, I know I have sometimes slurred my words a little
- It probably interferes with my health although I'm not aware of any problems yet
- I waste all that in the evenings although maybe I wouldn't do much in the evenings anyway
- I feel as if I have a secret life
- It is expensive
I will write these down and add more as I think of them. I need to be here, I know. Both times I tried this before, I did well and thought I didn't need to come here anymore and would be fine. I think it absolutely helps to read the postings here everyday.
THank you for reading and I hope I'm here tomorrow beginning Day 1.
GolfD

[Doggygirl]

First time here in 15 months

Welcome back. If alcohol is causing a problem in your life, then you are right - it doesn't matter if you are alcoholic or not. Time to ditch the AL.

Good luck to you!

DG

[DriftyAlison0]

First time here in 15 months

Exactly. Coming here everyday helps. I posted daily post till I got to day 114 and decided to go to weekly because I feel that I don't need to do them, however I am still here every day and will up date weekly on the weekly posts. I won't quit my quit. In the past I wondered away from here when I thought I had it licked and it brought me back to the AL hold.

[Reenie]

First time here in 15 months

Golfdiva, I can relate to your post. Beginning with having no energy in the morning to being expensive! Oh.... and certainly having a secret life!

[cpn1004]

First time here in 15 months

Golfdiva,
I was just like you only with beer. Everyday drinking for years, yet I thought I was functioning.
For me it was time to quit. You will find what works for you.

[golfdiva]

First time here in 15 months

Thank you

Thank you for your encouraging posts. They do help. Today is my Day One but I'm happy and excited. I hope I can keep the momentum going. We had an event to go to last evening and I managed to have two glasses of wine and that was it forever, I hope. It frightens me to think forever though, so I'm only going to think today and maybe 30 days. Last time I thought that though, on day 31, I started drinking again!

[DriftyAlison0]

First time here in 15 months

If you going to worry about days ahead from now it is going to be real tough. Do it one day at a time. Consecrate on today, today and worry about tomorrow,tomorrow.