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    #1

    sigh..trying again

    Guys... nearly a year since I last visited, and a long time since I signed up. Still drinking heavily from 6pm onwards. I do manage one or two days without, but really suffering pains now and I know full well it's the alcohol.

    I can almost for see my reaction when I'm told one day I've caused irreversible damage to myself. I wake every morning and have a long stare in the mirror at my puffy face and say to myself ' remember this image in the evening'... even taken photos to remind myself. I wake with no energy, but somehow keep my business going.. I know though that this is next to suffer.

    As the day goes on and after many red bulls and pro plus by afternoon I'm alive, I talk myself round... then to the shop for a couple of bottles of wine and round and round in circles.

    I'm again going to try and stop, for myself and my husband and because I'd love children one day but know I need to deal with this 1st. I hope I'm able to visit here to help, I'm very good at hiding from my problems which is why I've never been a regular here.

    Anyway I'm starting tomorrow.. hope I succeed this time round x
    Tags: None
    #2
    sigh..trying again

    Welcome back. I know it took me many years to "get" that I had a problem. I think we all have to wind our way through a painful process of getting to a point where we truly want to NOT drink more than we want to drink. I hope for you, that you have reached that point. And if you have, the support here will be awesome as you find your way to sober living. Quitting drinking was the very best thing I ever did for myself. I have my life back - you can get yours back too.

    DG
    Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
    Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

    One day at a time.

    Comment

      #3
      sigh..trying again

      Hi MLDogs, welcome on board. I used to take photos of myself too to try and convince myself to stop.
      You're here. You've taken the first step. Read, read, read as many posts as you can. There will always be a connection.......you are not alone in this.
      Stay close and look forward to getting to know you.
      The Newbies Nest is a really good supportive place to start.
      IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO BE WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN
      Relapse starts long before the drink is drunk!!.Fresh Start!

      Comment

        #4
        sigh..trying again

        Thanks for the replies, I'm now ending today feeling a little more optimistic about the challenge ahead. Hopefully I'll be back tomorrow after a whole day free x

        Comment

          #5
          sigh..trying again

          MLDogs, I am familiar with that looking in the mirror and making promises. Imagine being free from all that guilt and worry and angst and REALLY living up to your potential. It's amazing! Just keep at it one day at a time until the shackles fall away.
          sigpic
          Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

          Comment

            #6
            sigh..trying again

            Feel free to reread the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html and set up a plan. Visit here daily, and do whatever you need to do (legally of course) to stay sober. ODAAT
            I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

            Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

            Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

            Comment

              #7
              sigh..trying again

              Hi Mustlovedogs,

              Just wanted to say hi and voice some support because I'm new here too and I know what you mean about being good at hiding from your problems. I reckon all addicts do. But maybe it's the addiction that's the problem and what makes us hide rather than who we are?

              Just today I was listening to a podcast (I'm trying to load up on motivation with lots of information - books/websites/podcasts) that was talking about trying not to view failed attempts as failures but think about what did and didn't work from them. What triggered you back to drinking? How are things now compared to then? Have they just gotten worse? If so, they're likely to keep getting worse until you (we) arrest them now. The time to quit is now if you feel this way. You can do this. And there seems to be some wonderful support here.

              Good luck! Keep posting.

              Lilly

              Comment

                #8
                sigh..trying again

                Hi mustlovedogs, today is day one for me too, just wanted to lend my support. I know exactly where you are coming from. Wishing you well on your journey.
                Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

                Comment

                  #9
                  sigh..trying again

                  Hi mustlovedogs, I feel exactly the same as you and I am sick of it too, I drink up to 2 bottles of wine every evening and like you hold my life together, also I have started to have odd pains which I fear are AL related and I am panic stricken, I NEED to stop this once and for all!

                  Best of luck and hope to see you here later x
                  Taking it ODAT

                  Comment

                    #10
                    sigh..trying again

                    MLDogs,

                    I know exactly how you feel - strong resolve in the morning and then all that resolves seems to just go down the drain by the evening. 2 weeks ago I found myself pouring all the AL in my house down the drain during one of those mornings with all the good intentions. I'm back here after a couple months hiatus which was leading me back to where I was. This may sound weird but I think it actually is getting easier every time I come back.

                    If you've been here before, you know what you need to do - stick close and try to find something to keep you occupied during the normal "drinking hours". One of the things I like best about MWO is that I feel so comfortable talking about my problems here. My problem with AL is not known to anyone - including my hubby! (that's the truth, believe it or not). Best of luck to you and remember that you are not alone and you have so very many people here who are in the same boat as you.

                    MAURI - I MISSED YOU! So glad to see you back friend!
                    Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      sigh..trying again

                      Yeah view your previous quits "practice quits". See what you did wrong, and learn from them and make sure that the mistake doesn't happen again.
                      I quit drinking on March 8, 2020. Taking it One Day At A Time and no more taking my quit for granted.

                      Also doing it for me. I got to stay sober for me.

                      Just consecrate on today and do what you can to remain sober for today and worry about staying sober tomorrow, tomorrow.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        sigh..trying again

                        The support here is amazing, thanks all. I'll definately keep coming on to read and update.

                        I've made today, also have made notes on all the negatives I experience with alcohol to try and help. Good luck to all.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          sigh..trying again

                          Hi mustlovedogs,

                          Welcome back to MWO, this is a great place!
                          Please feel free to stop in the Newbies Nest thread for more support. People are starting their AF jouney today as well so you are not alone

                          Wishing you the best!

                          Lav
                          AF since 03/26/09
                          NF since 05/19/09
                          Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                          Comment

                            #14
                            sigh..trying again

                            MLD,

                            I know exactly how you feel. I have been away from here for a few months and suffer the same wretched curse. I feel exhausted, depressed and hungover in the morning - hating booze and never wanting to touch it again. Then by 6pm I am right back at it.

                            I'll just have one beer. IT'S NEVER EVER EVER EVER ONE BEER.

                            Then I wake up in the morning to re-live the same sh**t all over again.

                            I do not like my 6pm thoughts. Gotta figure out how to keep that morning determination the entire day.

                            I hope you woke up feeling better today. Let's get on with a good life.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              sigh..trying again

                              MLD

                              Mighty good job in coming here, this place is great for the moral support for we all know what it's like.
                              Meech is right, it's never ever just one beer.
                              Choose Sober, it's so much better, you will see
                              Keep up the good work.

                              Comment

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