An Apology from Allie

[Allie]

To all who know and love Becca as much as me, I need to make an apology. I apologize for my first post under "kicked out" thread that Becca started. I didnt know the whole story, but my heart was breaking for her marriage. I cant say too much, because I have to protect her. But what I can say, is that my husband and I have been on the phone with them for HOURS these past two days and her husband ADORES her. I knew something wasnt sounding right, and Becca has been in a lot of pain. As any marriage, they have had their struggles, and unfortunately alcohol clouds our perceptions of people's efforts to help us. And having some predator filling her mind with lies didnt help. Becca was an innocent victim trying to get help here on this site just like all of us. Her husband is not the bad guy, the bad guy is reading this. And he knows who he is. I feel like a complete idiot that I didnt see to help her sooner.

Becca and her husband are desperately trying to find their way back to each other. Her husband has asked us to come up and help them, because we went through this exact thing a year ago. (which ironically I found the courage to share my pain under the Mods board on Thursday's thread under "Monthly Moderation" if anyone cares to read it). Becca loves her husband and he loves her.

As her close friend, I have fueled bullets at her husband because I didnt know. I meant well, but I didnt have all the facts. Now I do, and I feel like crawling in a hole. I will not post on that thread anymore. Becca needs us more than ever, and we need to support her marriage and the little hearts of her children that are bleeding right now. They need their Mom. She has not been banned from her kids. She is with them now. Last I talked to her, she does not have a computer. This predator needs to stay away from her.

And to this predator out there.... he is a member here. I apologize to everyone but you. Becca's husband has your address, and now my husband does too. May they join forces. I hope I never your face around here again. You are not here for help for your problem, you are here to go after adorable women like Becca and try to fill their heads with your shit. Well I wont let you have her. You may have conned her for a while, but we will get her back.

To everyone, I offer my deepest and sincere apology for throwing around advice when I didnt know what I was talking about. And Becca, you are loved more than ever.

Allie

[lushy]

An Apology from Allie

Allie, If this person is so horrible I would talk to RJ about having him banned. We do not need that kind of person around here. For Becca and her family I pray for the best.

You are a great friend!!!

[Roberta Jewell]

An Apology from Allie

We have talked

He is banned.

RJ

[Beaches]

An Apology from Allie

I agree. This person should not be allowed to be here. That's scary. Everyone here is so vulnerable and just looking for support.

[Beaches]

An Apology from Allie

Thanks RJ

[Popeye]

An Apology from Allie

I had no idea that this place could be used in such a way.

It's good that we have people who know about this stuff. I don't know what he did but I'm glad that he's gone.

Thanks RJ

[happycamper68]

An Apology from Allie

Allie thank you for updating us, I am so relieved to know she is doing better and is with her kids and hopefully they can sort this all out. :l

[happycamper68]

An Apology from Allie

And thank you to RJ as well!! :h

[Saint Jude]

An Apology from Allie

wow. sitting here with my head spinning.

Hard to believe this could happen.

[Roberta Jewell]

An Apology from Allie

Thoughts

I think it's important we all use a little caution when establishing friendships here or anywhere online. That when we open up to others we are mindful that we're doing so in a forum with people we have never met.

I think many of us would agree that some of the relationships founded here, for example, may be extraordinarily meaningful. But we have to remember that we often come to this place broken and vulnerable.

We caution our children about the Internet. We try to protect them from individuals who may pose as that which they are not. It's advice well worth heeding ourselves.

Perhaps at times relationships start innocently enough and morph into something else. Again, those who are most vulnerable probably need to be most vigilant.

I can't tell you how committed we are on this end to protecting every members' privacy and security. And I think we do an excellent job of it. We use all the tools at our disposal and I personally have had a lot of sleepless nights over how to best serve our community?s needs in this regard.

But there's not much we can do about human nature. And I?d like to think our members are not afraid to open up to one another--because doing so often results in the most healing experience.

I guess I would simply ask that you trust your heart, but that you also listen to your gut.

RJ

(Thank you, Allie and best to you, Becca and family.)

[I Like Brandy]

An Apology from Allie

Allie;

I kind of came in at the end of all of this. One thing I do know is that you are a caring and wonderful person and ditto for the way you speak of your hubby. But not knowing or chatting with everyone here on this board you had no way to know what you now know given hindsight.! Don't stop posting here.

You have given me great guidance when I needed it. You did what you thought was best. Better to have tried to do something than NOTHING. Which makes you a great person and friend.

At least, all is out in the open. And as usual RJ is on TOP OF EVERYTHING AS SHE USUALLY IS!

[I Like Brandy]

An Apology from Allie

RJ'

Thank you! As usual you are on top of everything.

Brandy

[stollies1]

An Apology from Allie

Hi RJ,
We're all glad your on our side but even more grateful for your site regardless of the occasional nutter darkening our doorstep.
Thank you again and Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Love
Victoria xoxoxox

[lucky 2.0]

An Apology from Allie

Holy shit!

I was sooooo cautious when I came here and have slowly opened up to some wonderful women here after knowing them 10 or 11 months. I don't regret it but it does make me put some of my armor back on. And it re-inforces that fact that I don't think men and women can ever be "just friends."

I hope to learn more of the details so that I can channel my anger where it should be appropriately placed.

For now, I appreciate Allie letting us know what she could. Allie is a doll.

And of course, I continue to love and adore Becca and wish her only the best. She is definately one of the good people of the world and has my support.

And, I think the world of RJ for EVERYTHING she does for us. It is nice to know we are as protected as we can be.

Now, WHO IS IT THAT GOT BANNED??? And YES, IT DOES MATTER! This is absolutely insane.

lucky

[Preciouspinot]

An Apology from Allie

Allie,

Becca is truely lucky to have a person such as yourself to have as a friend. God bless you and your husband for stepping in and offering your most generous help. Please let Becca know we care for her and wish her all the best. She has nothing to be embarrassed about. She was the victim of a very sick, self serving individual.