Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

[LillyE]

Old-timers... as a newbie... 10 days AF but still summoning motivation to *really* quit for good... one of the things that I find the most helpful/inspiring is other people's stories about how their lives have improved since giving up the booze.

(And particularly how you still have fun. This is one of my sticking points - the idea that it's boring to be sober and I'm boring when I don't drink, which is funny really, as I know drunks can be awfully tedious and the depression/anxiety alcohol leaves me with is certainly no fun at all).

I know full well that not drinking doesn't heal everything in your life - especially not all at once - but I find it motivating to hear positive stories.

So... lay it on me

:thanks:

Lilly

[Unwasted]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

• Freedom from the torture of always thinking about alcohol - am I going to drink, how much am I going to drink, drinking, and then recovering from drinking, then thinking I should give it up, then thinking I should control it, switching from vodka to wine, wine to beer, no more sleep-deprived nights, experiencing deep, restful REM sleep, experiencing the beauty of tiring naturally and falling asleep naturally versus passing out, having energy the next day, no more headaches until mid afternoon while my shrunken brain rehydrates, no more worrying about what I said or did while drunk or concern about what it does to my body that I can't see (including cancer link - esp to breast cancer), freedom from worrying that I'll drive when I shouldn't, no longer having to exercise willpower, self-discipline and control to avoid drinking too much (that is true control), no more spending big bucks on alcohol - I've seen statistics that it's $100,000 in a lifetime, no more heart palpitations, no more anxiety, no more being dysfunctional at work, pride in knowing that you don't buy into the b.s. and propoganda of advertising, developing as a human being - not being stuck developmentally, learning to be yourself regardless of whether or not that means you're not the life of the party person..........(YOU WILL LEARN TO ENJOY YOURSELF IF YOU GIVE IT TIME. I'M ACTUALLY BELLY-LAUGHING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS NOW THAT I'M OFF THE DEPRESSENT, ALCOHOL.
  Think about it - alcohol is the only drug you have to justify not using.

[daisy45]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

Great post Unwasted!!!

[Doggygirl]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

Lilly, I think that is a good question!

First off, it took me quite a bit of time but now I can reflect back and see that I was NOT having fun in the later years of my drinking. In my younger years, I really DID have a lot of fun while drinking. However, in my later years, I guess I was chasing that "fun" of days gone by that is gone for good. Addiction is simply NOT FUN. And I'm addicted.

I the later years of my drinking, my thoughts were dominated as unwasted says, by drinking, recovering from drinking (hangovers, figuring out what I did/said, covering my tracks, etc.) and planning the next drinking event. As time went by, more and more of my thought and energy was spent on that.

When I first stopped drinking, all my thoughts and energy went into that. Sometimes it didn't seem worthwhile, but relapse taught me that with me and AL, nothing is ever going to change.

As I continued to heal my life has gotten so full. I had to push myself out the door to find new things to do. But WOW - I discovered a whole big world out there! I have gradually shifted my focus to things that I feel passionate about. For me, there is no greater way to live than to spend the majority of my time pursuing my passions! I was wasting away as a drunk. Now I am a "late life" college student hoping to work one day as an addiction counselor. THAT is my fun today. And I love it.

It was not possible for me to pursue my passions AND give all my thinking power and energy to AL. I had to break free first.

Good luck to you. I bet you will get some AWESOME responses on this thread. GREAT question.

DG

[momof3]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

There are so many things I love about my AF life. Here are a few:

I have re-connected with life again. Toward the end before I quit drinking, I became more and more isolated.

I am healthy, I have lost over 20 lbs and I am more physically fit than I have ever been.

I no longer take anit-depressant and anti-anxiety medication.

My brain is very sharp and I'm not quick to anger or reactive like I was when I drank.

I feel powerful; no longer a victim.

I no longer live in secret shame; I have confidence in who I am.

I feel as if the possibilities in life are endless.

I have no time for alcohol.

:hM3

[Crunchy]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

If this place had like buttons, I would be hitting it for every post here. Awesome.

[LillyE]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

And my own list

Thank you so much all for these GREAT uplifting and inspiring posts. Please keep 'em coming...

I am on Day 10 alcohol free but have basically avoided any temptation these last couple of weeks. I'm coming up to my second weekend here (last weekend was really rainy so I basically hibernated and read books) and dinner out both tonight and tomorrow with friends who are usually drinking buddies, so I know I'm facing my first tests... It's also my birthday next week and the week after that I'm going away with a bunch of friends to a beach house for a few days (there will be lots of boozing, though also two pregnant women there who presumably won't be drinking so that ought to help).

My immediate goal is to go 30 days straight without alcohol. I've been 'quitting' on and off (admittedly more off than on) since July but 9 consecutive days is the longest I've managed to date... So, if I can get through this weekend (a long weekend here) AF that will be a big start.

In the spirit of adding to the motivation, I made a list in my journal this morning about the things I like when I don't drink. Here it is...

That the last two nights I slept soundly and uninterrupted for 8 hours *without* taking a sleeping pill. (Not that I always take them - just that I usually only sleep soundly when I do.)

I feel sparklier and sunnier - feeling the dark clouds start to lift

Feeling more able to think of, and be present with, the people I love

My anxiety is easing - not gone by any means, but definitely easing

Having the mental capacity to get properly engrossed in a novel again

Feeling more able to focus on work and feel motivated - not getting distracted every two minutes and feeling foggy, flat and hopeless

Having more energy to accomplish more - not getting so overwhelmed by every tiny thing

Not being as flooded by stress and irritation - my moods seem more stable already

Feeling proud of myself for tackling this - a sense of cleanness and light, rather than dark, shameful shadows

Not having horrendous hangovers and the associated guilt, remorse and shame

Saving money - alcohol is such a wallet drainer it's astonishing to realise when you stop

I've lost 1.5 kilos! I'm working out almost daily. I'm also more motivated to watch what I eat and eat healthily when I don't drink (no cravings for grease, stodge and sugar post drinking)

I'm sure there's more... but hopefully writing this out will help keep me strong over the weekend.

Go well all,

Lilly x

[Meech]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

I LOVE waking up in the morning and the first thought in my head is relief and happiness that I rested my sober head on my pillow the night before. I love waking up without regrets.

[Stompy]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

I love this thread.
My longest time AF was six weeks. In those weeks my confidence rocketed, appearance improved, loads of training in the gym, felt free, had plent of extra cash, far more productive in work.

I want to get back there.

[momof3]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

Meech and Lily,

These are wonderful benefits of being AF that you should hold close to you and know that it gets better and better.

In my early days of being AF, I used to keep in my wallet, a list of all the reasons why alcohol was bad for me and a list of all of the reasons I wanted to live a life free of alcohol. It was really helpful to have those two lists during times when I felt vulnerable to drinking.

Keep up the good work.:goodjob:
M3

[DriftyAlison0]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

There were times in my drinking that I could stick to a few and there were times when I was able to settle with 6 beers at home (or less sometimes, and would finish the rest tomorrow off the six pack) but majority I drank till I was practically wasted. The next day I would be hungover and wishing that I would quit. But then I would start to feel better and before long I forgot how bad I felt and had the next drinking night planned. Now I that I don't drink, I can still go out and hang out with friends, but I don't get drunk and since I drink AF drinks, I have no fear of getting wasted and hungover the next day. The feeling of full joy of knowing that I am hangover free helps me when I need it. I just envision the feeling and it says no to the AL.

[LillyE]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

Thanks again all for sharing. These thoughts really help me. I KNOW that life will be better without the booze in lots of truly significant and meaningful ways, but I'm still mourning the very idea of the loss of my 'friend' (what a joke that really is) and comforter and source of 'fun'.

On which note, DG - I think you summed up this problem well for me. Aside from the obvious fact that alcohol is so glamorised in our society and so inextricably tied to images of fun and relaxing and socialising... I too DID have a lot of fun drinking - and partying generally - in my younger years. (Though there were always a lot of downsides too I was just in denial about.) In fact, drinking still feels fun at the time, or some of the time, when I'm wasted. It's the afterwards that is increasingly horrible and so not fun that it really ought to far outweigh any fleeting sense of fun were it not so damn addictive.

It struck me yesterday that I love cheese but if every time I ate cheese I suffered extreme depression and anxiety the next day, sometimes for days on end, and that if once I started eating cheese I had to eat a whole kilo of cheese, almost every time, and sometimes for several nights in a row... well, it wouldn't be that hard to just give up cheese entirely now would it? Which just shows how for the addicted drinker it's so much bigger a problem than just choosing to forgo something we 'enjoy'.

But I digress...

MomOfThreee... I read some of your story on another thread before reading your post here and it was incredibly encouraging to read how great things are for you now compared to how bad they once were. Thanks for sharing. And congratulations on three years - that is awesome!

Good news: I made it through my first challenge of the long weekend relatively easily. (Dinner with a drinking buddy friend.) When I first sat down in the restaurant and was watching people with their glasses of wine the old 'just one or two would be lovely' thoughts crept in and I had to remind myself that, given my recent history, it wouldn't be 'just one or two'. It would have been half a bottle over dinner, followed by a couple more at the pub, followed by my 'drinking buddy' probably being ready to call it a night yet me wanting more and likely buying more on the way home, drinking more at home alone (sad I know), and today feeling utterly hungover, miserable and wretched and like I'd failed in my attempt - yet again.

So, instead I had a large glass of mineral water and dessert after my main - which I normally wouldn't even want if I were drinking. Then I went home, read a bit in bed and had a good night's sleep.

Tonight is a yet bigger challenge... dinner with two girlfriends who I always, always booze up large with as they're both big drinkers and our socialising tends to revolve around it. One has been very supportive about my trying to quit (although I know she mourns the loss of her lone single-girlfriend drinking buddy); the other - not so much.

Once again I've rambled on here. I really must start a 'My Story' thread to keep this stuff in one place.

Thanks again all.

[myhappyplace]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

Lilly - wish you well with your night out - I love your "cheese breakthrough" made me laugh and also think. Enjoying this thread.

Guessing your in Oz if you have a long weekend? You should jump into the Undies thread sometime. It has helped me being in the same timezone when the really tough cravings hit.

Again all the best. x hp

[Meech]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

Lilly,

Tonight when the cravings hit.....
Remember how great you felt when you got home last night and how you felt this morning when you woke up. Wouldn't you love to experience that tonight/tomorrow morning? Well guess what you can!!!!!

Did you have fun last night? Well you can have fun tonight - you don't need booze to enjoy yourself.

Good Luck keep strong and wake up proud tomorrow morning!

[LillyE]

Tell me why your life is better now alcohol free?

Thanks guys

I am proud - and happy - to report that I made it through my second night out AF, meaning the rest of the long weekend is a downhill slope and I've now beaten my own personal best of AF days. (A bit sad I know at only 12 days but, hey, it's progress, right?) I had a fleeting moment when the Sangria called to me but other than that it was surprisingly easy.

Whoot!