This is not Rebecca. This is her husband Scott. I have never met any of you and have only spoken to a few of you. I cant believe I am on the website pariticipating in the very thing I partially blame for the desrtuction of everything precious to me. Unfortunately it is my only means to communicate to the very people who described me as a monster and a villan. I am not perfect. I have never been under the dellusion that I am. I am a man who gave every ounce of his heart and soul to a woman who didnt love him. Alcohol was my wifes crutch to the love for me she was lacking. Because she was the woman of my dreams the trade off seemed fair to me. I could be with the most beautiful person I had ever known as long as I let her drink at will. The booze made me everything to her that I could never really be. After years of this masquarade I wanted to experience the true love I believed in without the assistance of alcohol . Asking for sobriety from Rebecca and eventually getting it (to some degree) only brought out my worst fears. NO matter what I say or do I cannot make her love me. Amidst her longest stretch of sobriety she discovered what she describes as her dead heart. She loves me, the father of her children. She is not in love with me her husband. I am hurt beyond all desrciption. I constantly feel like I am choking on the very air I breathe. The lesson I would like to leave with is you dont have to be an alcoholic to use alcohol as a crutch or cover up for true feelings. You dont even have to be the one drinking.
To Allie: you are a saint. I didnt know people like you existed.
To Alec: Hold on to Allie tight. She is a shooting star. They dont come along very often!
To everyone else: Please dont judge to quickly. There are no bonus points for rushing to judgement. Dont lose sight of why we seek support and counsel. It is not to empower ourselves or validate our opinions. It is to gain insight in to the events in our life, and make sense of that which we do not understand.
To Rebecca: I have loved you since the very day I layed eyes on you. You were my dream girl. I only wish I was your dream guy. I accept and understand that I cannot use my sheer will to make you love me. As we move on in life I hope you find yourself and realize the true potential you have. This world is a better place with you in it. I want you to find sobriety so you may realize your potential. If you never become the person you are capable of...a life has been wasted.
When God decided to redecorate the world...he gave us Rebecca. She made it beautiful.
To Allie: you are a saint. I didnt know people like you existed.
To Alec: Hold on to Allie tight. She is a shooting star. They dont come along very often!
To everyone else: Please dont judge to quickly. There are no bonus points for rushing to judgement. Dont lose sight of why we seek support and counsel. It is not to empower ourselves or validate our opinions. It is to gain insight in to the events in our life, and make sense of that which we do not understand.
To Rebecca: I have loved you since the very day I layed eyes on you. You were my dream girl. I only wish I was your dream guy. I accept and understand that I cannot use my sheer will to make you love me. As we move on in life I hope you find yourself and realize the true potential you have. This world is a better place with you in it. I want you to find sobriety so you may realize your potential. If you never become the person you are capable of...a life has been wasted.
When God decided to redecorate the world...he gave us Rebecca. She made it beautiful.
zwink:
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