Broken Hearted

[Saint Jude]

Broken Hearted

:woot: :l :santa: :loveyou:


All the best to you both! Merry Christmas!

[Allie]

Broken Hearted

The greatest gifts in our lives, are right before our eyes.

Merry Christmas Scott and Becca,
Alec and Allie:heart:

[southernbelle47]

Broken Hearted

AMEN!

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL.

LOVE,
NANCY

[dilayne]

Broken Hearted

Good morning Becca and Scott.
I want to wish you and your family and wonderful Christmas..with all that Christmas represents. I've read your story and have felt great compassion for you both, as my husband and I have been through something similar. We've been married for 16 years and almost separated this year..it was actually the best thing to happen to us, it forced us to go to the next stage in our marriage...you see, every couples (I whole heartedly believe) under the guize of romantic love..we project the image of our ideal partner, dream girl, night in shining armour..etc. etc. onto our beloved..it is the honeymoon of a marriage. The reason that divorce is so prevalent in the western culture is that we've somehow confused that with REAL human love. When we wake up from the dream and realize that our partners are just human and not carry us with their perfection, that they aren't perfect and that they are not going to save us, we often are rought with dissappointment, disillusionment and fear..we must face ourselves....Most marriages do not survive this transition into mature love. You have a chance to do that now.

Scott..Becca's ability to love you, I think, has little to do with you...it mirror's her capacity to love herself..her truest self..the best thing you can do for her is love her for who she is, and to support her with the problem of alcohol..you may be right that she has used it, but you have to. My husband and I began therapy together with an episcopal priest..but he didn't counsil us on religion..he has showed us how to love each other for who we are, not for who we want the other to be for us. We brought my alcohol abuse to him and he told us both that we needed to deal with it as a relational issue and that it would be almost impossible for me to stop if my husband continued to drink. My husband had not understood that before...I would attempt modertion time and time again..I would ask him to help, but when he found out that I was more sexual, more affection, or easier to deal with...he was the one that started to bring wine home, even though he knew I was battling it..that is NOT love, it verges on evil..which to me is only the absense of love. My husband wanted to love me, but it wasn't until he was willing to enter the battlefield with me and to make the sacrifices of his own selfish desires that I truly felt loved...

We are in this together..we had our fun, but we are grown up now. We have to much at stake, spiritually, emotionally and physically than to play this dangerous game. Drinking is not an option now and I trust him more than I ever have because he loves me enough to endure our trials for the long run. Marriage IS not the honeymoon, it IS through sickness and in health, richer or poorer...we are here for one another's highest good..to grow together, to love each other..not just when it is easy and when it serves our ego's lowest needs...what is good for our highest good often is what requires our egos to go from serving it's little self to serving something much bigger, and in a marriage, it is to serve the relationship..what is best for the marriage...of course, to me, the children are the most important sub part of a marriage, so I won't even begin to comment on that.

I am filled with great hope for you both, and your marriage. I'm brought to tears this moment with that feeling. Trust the love..even if it sparkles just once a day in a distant galaxy..that sparkle is more powerful, more real, and more everlasting than all of the 'little' grievances our egos make up..just to save itself.

Much Love and Merry Christmas!
Dianne

[betty boop]

Broken Hearted

Becca & Scott..........

Be strong..............

Love you both...........

Paula xx

[skootiemom]

Broken Hearted

Christmas Miracles

My husband I were subject of one nearly 3 years ago. I was looking for an apartment and we could barely look at each other for months. We fought and found our way back and made a New Years resolution to work on our relationship- make time for us- be selfish... and we fell in love all over again.

My husband is not the man I married- sounds cliche, I know...but better. I am certainly not the girl I was nearly 11 years ago when we met. We grow and change. The secret is doing things for each other that support this growth. Be it finding religion, running marathon's, embracing sobriety.... you need to understand that change in our partner is not always a response to something that we have been doing, coping or hiding from. Change is what it is. I believe that alcolholism is not caused by unhappiness. It is a disease. We drink all the time- celebrating happiness or numbing sadness. We drink because we have an addiction. A loved one of an alcoholic often feels guilt or like they failed, when really, it's simply not the case.

Our love this time around is very different. But it takes work, dedication.... you have to choose to love each other and be happy with that choice. Once you make peace your decision, the possibilities are endless.

May peace and happiness be in all your hearts.... and believe in miracles!

Skoot

[happycamper68]

Broken Hearted

I wish you both the very very best and the most wonderful holiday you have ever had. Give those kids a kiss from me. :h

[C]

Broken Hearted

Dear Scott,

You bring tears to my eyes. You are a remarkable man & genuinely soul. And so is Becca.

I wish you the most jouful and peaceful Christmas holiday in the world.
Luv~C

PS. Did you ever see "When a Man Loves a Woman" with Meg Ryan & "I forget". It is beautiful & it is your story!!!!

[Suzanna]

Broken Hearted

Becca,

I will love you unconditionally forever. When forever is over, I will ask for more time with you.>>

I wish you both the best. I am so sorry if I was fast to judge. Merry Christmas!! Suz