drank last night, so disappointed in myself

[Abielle]

I went to a concert last night, and I had a few beers. I kept asking myself if I really wanted to drink....and my answer was NO. I had this whole conversation in my head. "Will this really make anything better?" "How will you feel tomorrow after having done this?" But I did it anyway!

I was really anxious because I was going to the concert alone. So, I used AL to relax.

I woke feeling ill...it has pretty much been the case for the past couple years, that if I have even a couple drinks, I just feel physically terrible for the whole day after. I also feel incredibly anxious, and spacey, and I slept horribly. I really just want to crawl back into bed until this feeling goes away.

Ugh. I really let myself down. I don't want to drink again. I thought at one point I could Mod, but I don't think that will work for me. It's just poison. I think I just have to be abstinent.

Maybe it was a good test in a way, because now I know, I really should just not drink again. I just feel awful having done it though.

[Meech]

drank last night, so disappointed in myself

I agree with Zen.

Don't beat yourself up. Learn from this. today is the first day of the rest of your life.

The past is history.

[tonstantweader]

drank last night, so disappointed in myself

Abielle,
Give yourself today to feel bad, wallow if you need to, and then tomorrow just put it behind you. This is why I stopped counting days. I have been AF since Aug 2 but had two minor slip-ups myself when under great stress. I don't even dwell on those. My life on the whole is much, much better now that I have kicked my daily wine habit and if I slipped up a couple of times, so what? As I recall, you have been AF for much longer than me and you have had some real stresses to handle that were difficult. Those aren't reasons to drink, but they are reasons to reflect that you are human and that you really have been very, very successful with this whole thing. Focus on the positive, and that you have handled difficult issues without alcohol and been very successful at that.

[Abielle]

drank last night, so disappointed in myself

Thanks.

I went to an appointment with my therapist today. I think it helped a little. I hadn't been in almost a year.
And, I was just able to eat something, (my stomach was so upset earlier that I just couldn't.)

I also ordered the "Kick the Drink" book that Unwasted and others have raved about.

I am definitely not going to dwell on it. Just move on from here...

[DriftyAlison0]

drank last night, so disappointed in myself

At least now you know that modding isn't for you. Just learn from your mistake and move on.

And you don't have to worry and wonder if modding is for you or not since you now know that its not for you.

[Doggygirl]

drank last night, so disappointed in myself

Hi Abielle. ITA with what everyone said about not bludgeoning yourself. Just learn from it and move on.

One thing I found was that in my first couple years of sobriety, I was better off not going to events like concerts that in my mind and history, were major DRINKING events for me. I will never regret that. At this stage I know I can stay AF no matter where I go. (now I just don't LIKE certain boozy situations any more!!!) But early on, it was better for me to keep my eyes on the prize (AF living) and just stay away. It's not forever.

DG