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**JackieClaire** · October 6, 2011, 06:11 PM

feel guilty

Damo,
It's so lovely to see you. Don't you dare feel guilty, you're here now, that's what counts.

Do you know I even looked at holidays in the sun because of your successful trip abroad. Sun,sea and sand for me goes hand in had with a very large consumption of alcoholic drinks. That's why I've been to Ireland to years running. Loved it both times even though it was a bit damp.

Now chuck the idea of modding as far a possible and let's see more of you on the boards.

J x
:l

**Guitarista** · October 6, 2011, 06:21 PM

feel guilty

Hiya Damo,

Good post. And very natural and common thoughts you're having. Remember why you stopped drinking. Go back to those dark times and remember. Our minds, or at least mine, will 'dress up' the drinking times by only bringing to mind the less damaging times. My mind conveniently forgets the daily hell, the soul stripping, self respect destroying aspect of alcohol in my life. Ride these thoughts and feelings out, acknowledge them and be proud of your choice and decision not to drink. Follow your own truth. Alcohol is a liar. Why did you stop?

Don't forget yer https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Best wishes, and fantastic job on 9 months AF. Keep it going!

**DriftyAlison0** · October 6, 2011, 07:51 PM

feel guilty

JackieClaire;1188883 wrote: Damo,
It's so lovely to see you. Don't you dare feel guilty, you're here now, that's what counts.

Do you know I even looked at holidays in the sun because of your successful trip abroad. Sun,sea and sand for me goes hand in had with a very large consumption of alcoholic drinks. That's why I've been to Ireland to years running. Loved it both times even though it was a bit damp.

Now chuck the idea of modding as far a possible and let's see more of you on the boards.

J x
:l

I agree. Don't feel guilty. At least you came here instead of drinking. If you contemplating modding again and your catching yourself at your old tricks, then don't mod. Its so much better staying af anyways.

**RingingCedars** · October 6, 2011, 07:58 PM

feel guilty

DriftyAlison0;1188960 wrote: I agree. Don't feel guilty. At least you came here instead of drinking. If you contemplating modding again and your catching yourself at your old tricks, then don't mod. Its so much better staying af anyways.

right on Drifty!

**caysea** · October 6, 2011, 08:23 PM

feel guilty

Hi All
Some ask why stay around when you have some good sober time. This is exactly why. I have watched so many times people take their recovery for granted. Staying in touch with a program I think is a key to long term recovery. Damo great to see you use this site and the support it gives. The tools are just as important when you have some good sober time as they are when you first start.
The mod road can be traveled by some just because you have some good AF time don't be fooled to think you are now in control of al. Always look back at your history with al and the lengthy of time you drank compared to your sober time. Not many can go back

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

**Doggygirl** · October 6, 2011, 09:46 PM

feel guilty

Damo, so good to see you back!! I'm so glad you caught yourself in time. I relapsed myself back when, and I also know others who have relapsed after many years of sobriety. Each and every time, the message is "don't take it for granted." And "watch the stinkin' thinkin'." Most relapses are "planned" in the mind well in advance of the actual drinking.

Even if I spend an hour a day (or more some days :H) here on MWO, at AA meetings, etc. - it's WAY less time, trouble, and consequences than drinking would be. So I'll do it.

DG

**red67** · October 7, 2011, 10:38 AM

feel guilty

Hey Damo, looks like we are in the same boat. I too was thinking i had this " not drinking" thing under control and frankly feeling a bit cocky about it. Then boom! The strongest urges i have had yet hit me. My mind has been racing this week trying to get me to drink. I feel like this creature is just lurking waiting for me to get weak enough to finally win. That aint gonna happen as long as i have breath in my body. I will fight this and i now realize it will creep up on me when i am not watching.

Stay strong Damo, we can fight this!

**techie** · October 7, 2011, 10:54 AM

feel guilty

Good to hear from you Damo. I know what you're experiencing. Those thoughts always seem to be lurking in the corner. Being honest, recognizing it for what it is, and reaching out for support are key. You've done exactly that. You'll be fine. Techie

**pingu1997** · October 7, 2011, 10:57 AM

feel guilty

OMG the same here too, when shall I have my first drink, then panicking because I know deep down if I do I will get back in a mess again. The thought of trying to drink again has been in my head quite a bit recently too. Especially after a long day at work and with the kids.

Thank you to whoever said chuck the idea of modding out of the window, I needed to read that as well

Perhaps we should create a new thread for "not newbies" to share our ideas?!?

**damo180** · October 7, 2011, 11:05 AM

feel guilty

thank you all for your kind words and advice.
I realise now that this is a long and sometimes tough road we are on.
I will continue fighting this, as I know, overall, my life is so much better now that I dont drink.

I may also attend an AA meeting, but more importantly, I will come back on here as it always helps.
I cant thank you enough, it is MWO and everyone here that has kept me off the booze up to now.

Damo in Dublin.
xx

**damo180** · October 7, 2011, 11:07 AM

feel guilty

JackieClaire;1188883 wrote: Damo,
It's so lovely to see you. Don't you dare feel guilty, you're here now, that's what counts.

Do you know I even looked at holidays in the sun because of your successful trip abroad. Sun,sea and sand for me goes hand in had with a very large consumption of alcoholic drinks. That's why I've been to Ireland to years running. Loved it both times even though it was a bit damp.

Now chuck the idea of modding as far a possible and let's see more of you on the boards.

J x
:l

JC, you are an absolute star, lets hope we both win over the weekend in the football and rugby

:thanks:

**damo180** · October 7, 2011, 11:11 AM

feel guilty

pingu1997;1189245 wrote: OMG the same here too, when shall I have my first drink, then panicking because I know deep down if I do I will get back in a mess again. The thought of trying to drink again has been in my head quite a bit recently too. Especially after a long day at work and with the kids.

Thank you to whoever said chuck the idea of modding out of the window, I needed to read that as well

Perhaps we should create a new thread for "not newbies" to share our ideas?!?

hi Pingu, great idea, at least I know now I am not alone, a few months sober and it still a struggle occasionally.
I remember when you joined and so happy that you are still not drinking.....well done
Damo xx

**pingu1997** · October 7, 2011, 11:22 AM

feel guilty

well let me share this with you

I have seen 2 doctors now, nothing to do directly with alcohol dependence, and both independently have said "I don't get why you still find it difficult if you have given up". I left both times feeling like a prick

Maybe I should direct them here

And there endeth the lesson!

**caysea** · October 7, 2011, 01:23 PM

feel guilty

Hi All

Very hard for others that haven't walked in our shoes to understand. How often have you heard someone say "Well just stop drinking". Yes it is the answer but it is a hard fight to get their.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

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