But it occured to me that I have done nothing productive in the past 21 days bar staying sober. I have been eating crap, avoiding the gym, napping all day and generally just lying around and my justification has been "get sober first and when you achieve a stable sober you can worry about getting on in life". Its a pile of BS though. There are no guarantees that I will stay sober, and if I had drank today 3 weeks of my life would have gone down the tubes for a prize that wasn't coming. I have to get on with things but it may be the case that I might never be able to achieve lasting sobriety- it may be that I am marked to continue this folly forever. If that is the case there is little more I can do about that than I am doing now, but I cannot afford to defer all the other parts of my life. I feel that relapse is basically inevitable, and I don't want to make that worse by being ignorant to that fact.
Anyway just a thought.
Miles.
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