Just pondering at day 4

[Struggles 106]

So happy to be here. I was just wondering if
my experience is common-that people who SHOULD
know that you are unable to drink basically still
encourage you to drink.
Please don't misunderstand-I'm not saying this has/had
any bearing on my choice to drink or not. It's just
odd to me that people who do not drink to excess
should be able to recognize, shall we say , "problem"
drinking and not encourage it. My job is great, near
some drinking places where many people go to
unwind after our high-yech stressful days. As the one
who is the last to leave and the most hungover the next day
I am of course refusing to go. I just can't. It's best for
me to head on over to the gym and stay away from that
setting.
These people aren't blind-not sure really what I'm
bitching about here. I guess I want some understanding
when really I can't expect that, unless I just say
I CANT GO -IM AN ALCOHOLIC! STOP ASKING
ME!

[Unwasted]

Just pondering at day 4

Ann, welcome and congrats on day 4. IMHO people are absolutely clueless about how to handle being around someone who isn't drinking. I can remember looking at people like they had two heads if they said "I'm not drinking tonight." I absolutely could not fathom it. However, I never pressured anyone - just didn't get it.

How you explain it to people is very personal depending on what your comfort level is. Jason Vale (favorite book on the subject below) talks about how crazy it is that alcohol is the one drug we have to justify not taking. Your friends/co-workers would be elated if you said, "I've given up heroin" wouldn't they? But alcohol - they can't relate and are in denial about how destructive it truly is.

Best to you!

[Lavande]

Just pondering at day 4

Hi Ann,

Congrats on your 4 AF days :goodjob:

I completely understand your feelings!
In my case it was my husband - the same one who complained that I drank too much. It's confusing & definitely not supportive behavior!
In the case of friends & co-workers remember that you owe no one an explanation! You simply state that you are not drinking today & move on. Don't let anyone bother you about your choice

Keep up the great work & remember we are here for support

Lav

[Struggles 106]

Just pondering at day 4

Thanks for support!

Thanks! I know o don't owe anyone an explanation.
I'm just focusing on taking care of myself.
Ironically my boss invited me to a bar tonight
(no intention of going) for a going away thing for
a coworker. What she doesn't know is it's the bar
I was thrown out of last week. She said "It's right
by your house" hahaha
No thanks

[Unwasted]

Just pondering at day 4

Ann, stay strong and change your life. Don't waste years like so many here have. Wish I'd figured this out sooner, but better late than never.

Best to you!

[Struggles 106]

Just pondering at day 4

Thanks! I'm trying!

Thanks Unwasted

I got a fortune cookie the other day-the fortune
said Your secret desire to completely change your
life will manifest

How cool is that?

[Doggygirl]

Just pondering at day 4

:welcome: Ann! Congrats on 4 days AF!

It was quite a shock to my system when I realized I'm not any good at reading other people's minds, and I will be continually disappointed if I expect other people to be able to read mine. I know it's hard, but just keep saying "no" and going to the gym. Heck, you will probably start seeing some regulars at the gym after work - new friends and a new way to unwind. You never know!

DG

[Unwasted]

Just pondering at day 4

Way cool on the fortune cookie!