I often think of AL through out the day, though in an entirely different way then before.
From all the times I would drink and would try to stop, AL was everywhere! Walking into a grocery store, almost every commercial break on tv, in a restaruant, that person walking down the sidewalk with a brown paper bag, conversations with old friends etc... It was everywhere. Not only that it seemed to be on my mind 24/7, in my dreams and when I woke up. Just like when you think you may be pregnant, you notice every baby and pregnant woman and suddenly they are everywhere. Or quitting smoking and it seems as if everyone decided to light up that day. In reality, it was just an ordinary day but we recognize more of what is constantly on our minds in our surroundings.
So when I said before that I think about AL through out the day, it's because of just those things. Difference is, I recognize it and it passes on by. Before the thought would enter my mind and would be placed in a wheel, like a hampster wheel, in my brain. Would keep going around and around stuck on overdrive. The longer on it, the cravings got worse. I remember a therapist I went to a few years back that said only I have the ability to change how my brain works and stop that cycle. The key is finding out how but when it clicks, you break the thought pattern. I asked how to do it, and there really wasn't a solid answer. Basicaly it lies within each individual differently. Bummer I thought, that was a waste of a session. I get it now though.
How really can a person break that cycle without allowing our bodies and minds heal? It was impossible for me, I can't say for everyone. I am now thankful for the days, hours and minutes that I felt lost and insane after stopping drinking. It allows me to see just how much AL depleted my brain function and well being. I am gratefull that I experienced the anxiety, nervousness, restlessness, shaking, sweats and even depression. Without them being so uncomfortable and extreme I don't believe I'd be so at peace inside today without AL. Before I felt like I was having a heart attack if I didn't have at least a six pack with a few shots of liquor by evening time some nights and especialy on the weekend.
We all want to love ourselves again, we all want to live healthy and so much better. It's NORMAL to feel out of touch and go thru all the painfull side effect of stopping AL. Our bodies are actualy EXCITED TO GET BACK ON TRACK. It wants to get rid of what is hurting it at warp speed to recover. Remind yourself all the time, when you may feel like you are losing your mind that It Really Is Normal under these circumstances. You are not crazy, you are not insane. It is suppose to feel that way so give yourself a break. Each of us is stonger then we know.
From all the times I would drink and would try to stop, AL was everywhere! Walking into a grocery store, almost every commercial break on tv, in a restaruant, that person walking down the sidewalk with a brown paper bag, conversations with old friends etc... It was everywhere. Not only that it seemed to be on my mind 24/7, in my dreams and when I woke up. Just like when you think you may be pregnant, you notice every baby and pregnant woman and suddenly they are everywhere. Or quitting smoking and it seems as if everyone decided to light up that day. In reality, it was just an ordinary day but we recognize more of what is constantly on our minds in our surroundings.
So when I said before that I think about AL through out the day, it's because of just those things. Difference is, I recognize it and it passes on by. Before the thought would enter my mind and would be placed in a wheel, like a hampster wheel, in my brain. Would keep going around and around stuck on overdrive. The longer on it, the cravings got worse. I remember a therapist I went to a few years back that said only I have the ability to change how my brain works and stop that cycle. The key is finding out how but when it clicks, you break the thought pattern. I asked how to do it, and there really wasn't a solid answer. Basicaly it lies within each individual differently. Bummer I thought, that was a waste of a session. I get it now though.
How really can a person break that cycle without allowing our bodies and minds heal? It was impossible for me, I can't say for everyone. I am now thankful for the days, hours and minutes that I felt lost and insane after stopping drinking. It allows me to see just how much AL depleted my brain function and well being. I am gratefull that I experienced the anxiety, nervousness, restlessness, shaking, sweats and even depression. Without them being so uncomfortable and extreme I don't believe I'd be so at peace inside today without AL. Before I felt like I was having a heart attack if I didn't have at least a six pack with a few shots of liquor by evening time some nights and especialy on the weekend.
We all want to love ourselves again, we all want to live healthy and so much better. It's NORMAL to feel out of touch and go thru all the painfull side effect of stopping AL. Our bodies are actualy EXCITED TO GET BACK ON TRACK. It wants to get rid of what is hurting it at warp speed to recover. Remind yourself all the time, when you may feel like you are losing your mind that It Really Is Normal under these circumstances. You are not crazy, you are not insane. It is suppose to feel that way so give yourself a break. Each of us is stonger then we know.
Comment