I posted it in the "Need Help ASAP" but I really don't. I know EXACTLY what I need to to and am doing it now by getting back on track at MWO.
My post was:
November 1 would be my one year sober anniversary. I did not make it though. I have not gotten back to the way I was consuming all that wine. Over the past two weeks, for some reason, I have had a few drinks. I actually SNUCK a few drinks. SNUCK THEM! What an idiot! I did not get buzzed or drunk, did not do stupid things, did not drive or drunk text, did not get a hangover, but I DRANK. Like a big stupid asshole, I drank. I let the stress of my job and my marriage get to me and it made me temporarily feel better. For like an hour. I CHOSE TO DO THIS MOST STUPID THING. But it of course did not change things except that I felt guilty and stupid. And did it about 5 times over the past two weeks. I will not do it anymore. Over the past two days I have been going over in my mind how stupid I will look and feel to all my friends here who have worked so hard staying sober and supporting each other. My sweet friend Madmans sent me a message a few days back and I just got it. He was seeing how I was and how I was feeling about my upcoming anniversary. Can you say Divine Intervention? I can?t thank you enough Madmans. This is what I needed.
I am so sorry to have let you guys down ? you guys that always have been there for me. I thought I could do this myself and not need to have a support system, but I do. I stayed sober for 11 months and I am proud about that, but am sick that I let that damned alohol get the best of me. I am an alcoholic and I hate it. I cannot moderate ever. EVER EVER EVER EVER.
So I guess I?m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack??.
All my love to you friends. And I am sorry.
My post was:
November 1 would be my one year sober anniversary. I did not make it though. I have not gotten back to the way I was consuming all that wine. Over the past two weeks, for some reason, I have had a few drinks. I actually SNUCK a few drinks. SNUCK THEM! What an idiot! I did not get buzzed or drunk, did not do stupid things, did not drive or drunk text, did not get a hangover, but I DRANK. Like a big stupid asshole, I drank. I let the stress of my job and my marriage get to me and it made me temporarily feel better. For like an hour. I CHOSE TO DO THIS MOST STUPID THING. But it of course did not change things except that I felt guilty and stupid. And did it about 5 times over the past two weeks. I will not do it anymore. Over the past two days I have been going over in my mind how stupid I will look and feel to all my friends here who have worked so hard staying sober and supporting each other. My sweet friend Madmans sent me a message a few days back and I just got it. He was seeing how I was and how I was feeling about my upcoming anniversary. Can you say Divine Intervention? I can?t thank you enough Madmans. This is what I needed.
I am so sorry to have let you guys down ? you guys that always have been there for me. I thought I could do this myself and not need to have a support system, but I do. I stayed sober for 11 months and I am proud about that, but am sick that I let that damned alohol get the best of me. I am an alcoholic and I hate it. I cannot moderate ever. EVER EVER EVER EVER.
So I guess I?m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack??.
All my love to you friends. And I am sorry.
I have miss you! X X O O
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