jealous of normal wine drinkers

[Cinders]

jealous of normal wine drinkers

A box of wine lasted you how long?

I drank them in a single evening. Not the small boxes either.

The only way wine would last more than 3 hours at my house is if it came in a box, and I was the only one drinking it.

That was " before" I became a "true" alcoholic.

Sigh.

I keep reading and reading. I just pray that someday I figure it out.

40% of us die directly from this disease.

What scares is that I can accept that? Do you know what I mean.

I smoke and drink and I smoke as much as I drink.

I am tired of the merri-go-round but never seem to face that I want to get off of it.

Just laying the cards out. (Big statement here, friends.)

I have another friend here who is in the same boat and we both wonder why we "can't" get it.

Sorry to do the "downer" thing. I want the BEST for everyone out here. But my brain simply is having "issues" with getting sober.

My life is going down the tubes and I am scared. Perhaps not scared enough.

Or perhaps, I don't care enough.

Ciindi

[Cinders]

jealous of normal wine drinkers

Perhaps I woke up a cockroach in my bed and realized it was the best thing for my family.

The Cockroach Franz Kafhka.

Ohmigosh, I sound so morbid. I do think, however, he had something important to say.

T.S Eliot, also but they developed in tough times. Much like we are seeing today.

I am not sorry for the morbidity. Life is what it is. I should get sober and make lemonades out of lemons.

We all should.

Love,
Cindi

[blondie]

jealous of normal wine drinkers

Yes, I used to laugh (internally) when people told me they had a problem with drink - they had ONE each night to relax! Hello?! wish I could have (when I drank wine) cut back to 1 bottle! But I do have lots of alcohol in the house that I have no interest in whatsoever, some been here for over 20 years, some recent bottles over 5 years and I do not have any inclination to touch them whatsoever. There's even beer in the fridge (but not one I like) that's I've had no inclination to drink. So perhaps there' s hope :-)

Cindi - I have the same feelings; I am trying and wanting to stop and scared of my failing health, but then I think, well perhaps that's who I am, what is meant to be. But still working on it... :-)

[beagle]

jealous of normal wine drinkers

i can sooo identify with this thread.
can't remember the last time a bottle of wine would remain unfinished in my fridge.
whilst i wake every morning, cinders & blondie, with all the best intentions, so far i have failed to make inroads into my problem. but i'll keep trying, & working at it. i want to just get a start, & take it odat. easy to say, not so easy to do!

[available]

jealous of normal wine drinkers

I always left a small amount left in the bottle to justify that i had not drank two bottles at least. Even though i felt like shit but i still had not had two bottles. very proud of myself on that one and a good day was if i only drank one and a half bottles,i was practically sober. Not! It is funny how we justify our drinking but there is no justification. I thought to myself this morning "oh its friday tomorrow" i can have a drink. I have never waited till a Friday to have a drink, i waited till Friday to drink more. One drink a night would be heaven but i have a very big wine glass that takes half a bottle. (saves me walking to the fridge time and time again)

you guys are very inspirational thank you

And i managed to find 4 different bottleshops so that the one would not think i had a problem. That is very sad and if i did go into one i hoped that a sales assistant i didnt know was on.

[Cinders]

jealous of normal wine drinkers

I have the same feelings, also.

However, I told a good friend tonight on MWO, that when I wasn't there for them, I was gone.

I have been good for a good while.

A long, long while.

I was always the "to go girl."

Today, I am the "Don't near her now"

My daughter and my son are the same same.. (So is DIL)


Oh shoot. I was the "go to girl,."

Not anymore.

It makes me sick. You have no idea.

I am tired of the "the drunk in the fami;y.

I have no node place to lay myself as the drunk in wirkplace, either.

My husband had no clue either.

Cindi

[looking for peace]

jealous of normal wine drinkers

Are you ok Cindy?