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    #1

    Worried

    Not about me, about my sister. My sister who is about 15 years older than I, almost died repeatedly from her drinking. Coded 3 times when she went cold turkey. 10 years ago she was affecting my life and causing horrible problems because of her drinking (even though we lived on different coasts) and we all tried to help her. She would not stop. 3 or so years ago she quit drinking after a few stints in rehab. I had not talked to her in all that time, but I reached out to her a year ago, when I stopped drinking wine because there but by the grace of God go I etc. She had a friend who was diagnosed with Cancer and she substitued booze with taking care of him 24/7 even though she is married with (adult) kids. It was a friendship only, and it kept her off the booze, so her family supported her. Through her dilligence and care, taking him to the best cancer doctors, getting meds, etc. he went into remission. Unfortunately in the past 6 months the cancer came back with a vengeance. This morning she went to his home to take care of him and she found him dead. I have not been able to talk to her but my other sister said she is numb. Not like it was not expected, it was just not expected so soon since he had seemed to respond to the chemo so well this week. Anyway, I am sick with worry that she will hit the bottle since she will have so much time on her hands (she doesn't need to work, so she has no job). I am crying and feeling so helpless and sad for her. I love her very much and am so far away. If she drinks she will die. She. Will Die.

    I don't even know why I am telling you all this. I am just so scared for my sister. Please keep her in your thoughts for strength against this horrible disease.

    I bury my friend Paul tomorrow who had the same diagnosis as my sister's friend. So very sad. Not a good week at all. :upset:

    Thanks for listening friends.

    Love Waggy
    February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

    When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!
    Tags: None
    #2
    Worried

    Thanks Molly - it does not sound harsh. I wasn't able to help her before - she finally had to hit rock bottom. It has been rough for her to stop drinking - her husband drinks like a fish right in front of her, and her daughters are also boozehounds. So much temptation. You are right though - it has to come from her. I know you are just being honest. It really does help. I tend to be a fixer, and I need to stop that. I just want her to be ok.

    Thanks again friend. X X O O
    February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

    When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

    Comment

      #3
      Worried

      Hi Waggy,

      I totally agree with Mollers. I do feel so so sorry for her tho, what a lot to contend with.

      I pray that she will see how fragile life is and decide that she wants to live, especially as her friend had no choice in the matter, but she will do what she will do and nobody can stop her.

      PLEASE look after yourself thru all this, you are grieving too and you are staying off the booze, your road is rocky enough without trying to fix others.......you will still worry, thats natural hon and we would all be the same in your shoes but try to realise that it is out of your hands and the choice is hers.

      Support her and let her know you are there for her and that you love her dearly, but look after YOUR sobriety first, us alcoholics have to be selfish that way! That is paramount.

      Sending your sis good thoughts and prayers and some for you too xxx
      "It's not your job to like me, it's mine!"

      AF 10th May 2010
      NF 12th May 2010

      Comment

        #4
        Worried

        Hi Wagoneer. Just wanted to send you some loving vibes to you and your sis. I hope she chooses life. Please just know there is nothing you can do beyond support and encouragement. The others are right - it has to be her choice. (just like you had to make yours)

        DG
        Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
        Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

        One day at a time.

        Comment

          #5
          Worried

          Oh Waggers,
          Stay strong. Sending you love and support, sweetheart.
          J x
          :l
          It could be worse, I could be filing.
          AF since 7/7/2009

          Comment

            #6
            Worried

            So sorry, Wag. Reach out and remind her how far she has come, what a wonderful job she did for her friend because of not drinking. Reinforce how proud you are of her. And please, take care of yourself. My condolences to all.
            sigpic
            Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
            awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

            Comment

              #7
              Worried

              Hi Wagoneer,

              Geez, i'm sorry to hear all you are going through at the moment. That's rough. Thinking of you and your sister.

              I don't know if the following website will be of any use to you, but i came across it recently. It's focus appears to be on supporting family member's with an addict in their life. There might be some useful info for you.

              Best wishes, Greg.


              TreatmentTalk – About Cathy Taughinbaugh

              'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

              Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

              Comment

                #8
                Worried

                Thanks everyone. She seems to be holding up. She is not drinking. I told her to remember that not only did she help save his live 4 years ago (he was at stage 4 esophogeal cancer and went into remission), he saved HER life by getting her to stop drinking. She owes it to herself and to his memory to not drink again. Thanks for everyone's kind words. It has been tough lately. My sister lost her father-in-law two months ago and now her mother-in-law is expected to pass this week from dementia. Then Saturday my friend Paul's memorial was just too much for me. Dropped off my mass card, paid my respects to the family and left the funeral home sobbing like a whackjob walking to my car. I just could not stay. I am so overwhelmed by all this death. It's just too much right now. I will be fine though. Just need some sleep. I have gotten about 5 hours all weekend. Sick with worry for my sisters. Jeez I am a damn gloomy gus! Sorry about that . Ugh.
                February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

                When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

                Comment

                  #9
                  Worried

                  Waggy..could she come stay with you for awhile to remove herself from the toxic enviroment she is in. You could both support each other, maybe?????
                  I am so sorry for all your pain....makes my petty complaints seem so small....
                  much love and strength honey
                  I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                  Live in the Solution....not the problem

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Worried

                    Kat I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you, sometimes life can shit on us from a great hight and it seems it's never going to end but the one thing I do know is that we always come out of the dark side of the moon eventually. Be good to yourself and take it easy and come on here and vent away all you need. The cyber friends you have at MWO are the best bunch of folk you could meet and they are all behind you :l:l

                    Dewdrop :h
                    Enjoy today - there will be no other one quite like it....

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Worried

                      Waggy I have just seen this thread, my word what a terribly tough time for all concerned. I hope you manage to get some rest tonight and please post tomorrow, we are always here for you, you know that.
                      Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

                      Comment

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