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The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

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    The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

    ATL, unfortunately, 'tis the season to endure some of our family. Do they live near you? Yes, your son's old enough to remember them now, whatever happens. Take a picture of them together. He'll want it one day.
    Ry and Jack are both slim, and Ry is even tiny, but his biological people are small. Jack's a full head taller and 10 months younger than Ry, and so it will always be, but they are both soundly healthy. Again, your mother is trying to push your buttons! I was chubby, then sprouted up past most of my schoolmates and was rail thin. AB is small and wiry, takes after her Daddy. We don't have a chubby child in our whold family, but they are all good eaters, healthy, and that's all that matters. Genetics have a lot to do with it, and your son may suddenly be taller than you before you know it, like his dad.
    Don't let your mom get to you. Just smile serenely, it'll drive her crazy! :H Thanks for the compliment on my family pic. I wanted to knock those hats off the boyfriends, but I was nice! Gonna start demanding no hats in the house, though. They wear 'country' like a badge!!
    Have a good trip (do you have to stay over??) and get back to your wonderful life. And it does sound wonderful. The new year is a good time to think about getting healthy, but don't worry too much about thin, OK? I've been all sizes. Tay even told me to eat the other day before I blew away. No danger in that, I think.
    sigpic
    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

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      The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

      'Top o' the mornion' to you' my loved ones.
      Despite the obvious 'Mother anguish' over Ashe, I have a song in my heart and a spring in my step this morning. Fen and I had the most wonderful face to face chat on Yahoo Messenger last night (one of Dos Gatos and Chicken participated as well) and I think it was an interchange of encouragement. What a joy to finally meet her and talk in 'real time.' We have a 14 hour time difference, but somehow it works well.
      Sunni, we'll be here for you. After all, "You are our Sunnibut, our only Sunnibutt, you make us happy when skies are grey..."
      ATL, sometimes you just can't please Mothers. A couple of years ago when I was living with mine, if I did things in the garden or house I was 'trying to take over.' If I didn't I 'just sat around all day doing nothing.' She's made it clear she was only letting me stay there out of a sense of duty, so I went out and stayed out as often and as long as possible. I was 'always off with friends, just using the house as a place to eat and sleep.' It was three of the most uncomfortable years I ever spent. I bought her Dylan Thomas reading "Under Milkwood," her all time favourite on disc. I bought her that set on "our Amazing Planet" ( the actual title evades me at the moment) and although she thanked me politely I watched them sit in the same place undisturbed for years. I was as cheerful, courteous and appreciative as was humanly possible,helping with the dishes, carrying in the shopping, taking out the recycling etc and yet ever Sunday morning I could hear her expounding my latest faults with her cousin over the phone. When I left it was like a caged bird being set free. Two years ago on my birthday she rang and said "I don't want to spoil your birthday but..." and went on to tell me how Ashe had rung to thank her for a gift Mother had sent her (a bit late) and Mother had replied in brief answers, like "oh, yes, you received it then." Ashe struggled to make conversation but that was all she got. Mother expected me to either tell her that she was terribly clever or defend Ashe. I did neither. My response was "oh, okay." She rushed on to tell me how Ashe should learn to thank people in a timely manner. It just was bad manners (she's right), and I think I said "Hmmm," or some other noncommittal noise. Another barage of Ashele's shortcomings and again I just said "Hmmm." "Oh well, if you're going to be like that..." she snapped, and put the phone down on me. Wekks went by, then she called and said "Don't you think we could put our differences aside for just one night for Bill's wedding!" I said I don't particularly like going out at night, asked her to send my apologies again, and gave Brooke their gift to take on my behalf.
      Was I upset during this time? Nope. Was I worried about upsetting her? Not a bit of it. I'd spent 55 years to the day trying to please her, realised I never would and so gave up trying. She was the one who eventually made the approaches and in particular, once I was diagnosed with ADHD and put on the right medication, we had a heart to heart. I told her how she had made me feel while I was staying there, repeated back some of the nasty things she had said to me during that time ("I'm just going to have to sell this place and move into a retirement village, it's the only way to get away from you."), how I saw the look on her face the day one of her neighbours said "Isn't the garden looking wonderful since Mish came to stay." It was white rage. She had the grace to blush several times as I recounted everything. I told her how she had told me I was only there under sufferance so I stayed out or in my room. How if I tried to help I was taking over and if I did nothing I was 'just lying around in my room watching DVDs, only coming down to eat and then go back upstairs.' It was calmly said and she was clearly deeply ashamed of herself and her lack of understanding my position.
      We haven't looked back since. Our relationship is the best it's ever been, the dynamics completely changed and mutual love and respect freely given. She paid $10 000 to get my eyes done this time last year (I hesitate to call it 'guilt money,' but a realisation that she was in a position to make up for what had happened). I spend every Saturday morning in her garden, taking her to appointments, and laughing over old childhood memories. It's what a Mother/Daughter relationship ought to be. Now, she's so darned proud of me she brags to all her friends about me.
      ATL, read Harriet Lerner's book "The Dance of Anger." It gave me the tools to take that firm stand in the hope of turning our relationship around, set me free from that angst of 'never being good enough,' and gave me much of the self-confidence I now carry around with me.

      Ruby, two weeks ago a beautiful 15 year old girl accepted a lift home with her sister's ex boyfriend here in Perth. Her body was found the next day. Oh the outpouring of grief and love. I can't cry anymore (not really cry cry) but I can still make tears, and two fat ones rolled down my cheeks as I watched the mourners at her funeral last Friday on the tele. They all wore purple...even her casket was purple, and her Mother smiled bravely. She had told reporters days earlier that she was just so happy that she had 15 precious years with her daughter and proud that she had been so loved and cherished by all of her wonderful friends." All those friends of Jessica Cate were there with her mother, hugging her, putting their arms around her and sharing her grief.
      I do watch the news. It reminds me how precious and fragile life is and how every day should be lived as if it were our last. I remember to hug my friends, tell them I love them, help others where possible, find hope and pleasure in the little things and try each day to be kinder, milder, more empathetic and appreciative of the gift of waking up to the beauty of the earth and the friends I have been given, here and in the non MWO.
      If I focussed on the crazies in the world it would destroy me. I see it, it hurts me terribly watching the suffering in the world, but it is what it is. I can't change the world, but I can change myself and hopefully make someone else's day a little brighter if only by a smile, a little act of kindness, a word of comfort or encouragement, a little hope for better things and in doing this, I have overcome all the hurt, the deep emotional trauma, the feelings of impending doom and the spiralling out of control and turning to AL.
      Im sorry if I sound like a self-righteous prig, but it's how I've found MY Way Out of the old bad life and into a new one where peace and contentment are my daily companions.

      No new word on Ashe, but I put my foot down with Marcy and told her I'm not going to jeapordise the relationship with Ashe I've worked so hard to get back (AL again) and set of and 'hunt them down, get them together and talk some sense into them.' When she wants me, I'm here, but she'd hate me to do that. It's just not who we are...and besides, I think she's showning more sense than she has in the past 5 years.
      No more on the story, but I know there are a lot of pieces of the puzzle missing. I'll let you know how it's progressing when more information comes to hand.
      Oh my goodness...is that the time?????????????? Catch you later my lovelies, and have a good day. Yours will be starting around the time mine ends...lol.
      Love and hugs
      :h Mish :h
      sigpic
      Never give up...
      GET UP!!!

      AF since 25th November, 2011

      What might have been is an abstraction
      Remaining a perpetual possibility
      Only in a world of speculation.
      What might have been and what has been
      Point to one end, which is always present. T.S. Eliot

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        The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

        hey there folks well looks like everyone is doing great and well i had a great day with luke ... me work him hard for the money ..so he is nice and tired tonight and we both got a great heads start on this shower install and everything ready to reinstal plumbing and shet rock walls and just get'er done and well have a great night and get ready for a great hump hump hump day yeaaaaaaaaaeeee haaaaaaaa
        :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
        best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

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          The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

          Mish, what an awesome talk with you this morning! I was a bit self conscious, but soon relaxed into the whole video chat thing. I loved seeing you and Chicken. I do hope you hear from Ashe soon...and so sad about that poor fifteen year old girl.

          Oh gosh...about your mum. They can be our best friends and our worst enemies. I am so glad that your mum has come around and is bragging about you now. I know that I have been in some pretty bad places with mine, but she's mostly proud of me now.

          Give Chicken a kiss for me. :h

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            The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

            Mish-- I must read that book-- it has been recommended by a few folks and also some therapists so it must be great. Rubes- they are in Alabama so I must stay over night. I am glad I don't have a daughter in some ways because of the neuroses I am sure would come with that. To me, Luke looks perfect and he is healthy and that is all that matters to me. Hopefully I will not fall out before I finish my fitness goals-- as huge as I feel I know I am really only 3 to 4 months from being a "normal" weight and 6 or 7 from being what i want if I put my mind to it-- and that is key. I am not a blamer-- this one is on me-- of late I just have nto put it at a priority for whatever reason and that has not been helpful.

            Rubes--

            FIL loved the last of the leftover corned beef and cabbage and he and Mark dispended with it on the 23rd. The reubans were awesome. I will make that again for sure.

            Everyone-- rock on

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              The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

              good morning just popping in to say have an awesome hump hump hump day .. off to work we go hi ho hi ho
              :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
              best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

              Comment


                The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

                getting into shower and back to work.....ugh
                will read back later today
                love you all
                xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo
                Mama
                I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                Live in the Solution....not the problem

                Comment


                  The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

                  Hi all
                  Mish that is great how it turned out for you and your Mom. Mine was the same way but she died before we ever got close. I do have my biological Mom now though and we talk a little...well one of my kids has been sexting and used all the minutes on her pre pay phone doing it and I had to take it away and internet off when I am not here and phone as well....hate leaving them here with no phone while I am at work, but they can go to the neighbors if something happens.......found a good goodwill buy yest..10$ for 2 cymbals 2 mics 6 drumheads and 3 rims that is very good.....off to work

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                    The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

                    Good for you, Bird. Phone and internet are a privilege, not a right, and sexting is a dangerous game. Kids don't yet understand everything they send out to 'that special person' usually ends up on the internet! It's out there forever. You're even better at ferreting out bargains than I am, too, girl!
                    Mish, I can hear you sweet heart singing all the way over here!! You've used patience, love, and knowing that you understand your girl to handle this the right way. I know there's a long way to go, and a lot of healing, but as long as you are the rock for her and the children, she knows where you are. How is James? Is he healing as he should? Your Christmas season has been marked by so much drama, but through it all you've held on to what it's all about. No complaining, no blaming, just love and compassion. I'm proud to know you. And I'm JEALOUS you all got to 'meet' and I didn't! :H What a blast that must have been. Of course you'd have needed an interpreter for me if I'd been there!
                    Fenny, how many ways can I tell you not to be shy and reluctant with us? You are an important part of us, in fact, each one here is important in why we work together. I'm so glad (and jealous, see above) you had the long distance chat! Can't wait to meet you in person. Soon, OK?
                    T, work that boy! It will either teach him a skill he'll need or scare him into getting a great education so he never has to work that hard again! :H Then he can support you!!
                    MB, back to work sucks, I remember. The WORST day at the Post Office was after the holidays. It was like an avalanche. I've worked 18 hours and don't even remember getting home. Only to do it again the next day. I blame it for a lot of the wear on my body, but the money was good. Whip those kiddies into shape, they don't want to be back either.
                    ATL, SO glad the corned beef was a hit. Don't be surprised if he requests it at every visit. It's a compliment to you, my dear, when he does, since he must know you did it for him. There's never any left, is there?? I'd say have fun, but get through your trip with grace. Mother-daughter relationships are SO difficult sometimes. My daughter and I still are wary of each other's space at times, but so it is. I love her, and she loves me, and we'd move the world for one another.
                    Sun, hope your job is settling out after the holiday rush, and you get back to your routine. Are you off New Year's Day? Will you have to spend the night at the store again to get ready for the next day sales? I've got a mental picture of your grandson rocking away on his guitar - so glad it was a hit!
                    Yuck, I'm still packing decorations, cleaning, back to the day to day. Hate to be a downer, but January and February are my worst months, emotion wise, always have been, so I'm going to do my best to make them great this year. 'Course I'll have to leave my family, enter witness protection, and move to Arizona under the new name Shaniqua Lou Pettlebone. Oooops, I just spilled the secret. Oh well, getting on with my day.
                    sigpic
                    Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                    awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                    Comment


                      The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

                      Good Morning everyone - had about 13 hours sleep last night !! Must have needed it or so I tell myself!! Daughter came over at 5.30 and stayed for about 1/2 hour - Hubs and I were both sitting on the sofa chatting with her - and we both fell asleep when she left!! Woke up at 8.30, and went to bed!!
                      Rubes - I think I am working both New Years Eve and new Years Day - not sure - haven't seen the schedule yet - it doesn't matter, although I am usually off on the Sunday, so am not sure.
                      Gosh Bird - good for you taking away internet and phone - they just don't understand how dangerous sexting is.....
                      Morning Jan...have a good day at work!
                      ATL - my two girls - one was very long and skinny and the other stayed the same weight for about 18 months when she was a toddler - just getting taller! Don't worry about what others say - you know in your heart what is right for your children!
                      Fen - so lovely that you and Mish are talking - and that you are getting to see Chicken too! How are you doing it so that you are working it right time-wise?
                      Mish - I know that Ashe will talk when she is ready... and you are being patient - things will work out as they are supposed to. so pleased that you and your mum sorted things out too - me and my mum have a similar story strangely enough. And we got ours sorted too and have a grand relationship now.
                      Rog - yes, off to work - although I am closing today - well, doing a clopen actually - tonight and tomorrow morning. Hope work goes well for you today.
                      TONY, where are you??
                      Grateful - how are you doing? How is work - and how are you feeling? Just post a teeny post for everyone? Please?

                      I am off to do some stuff - will be back later - love and hugs to all,
                      Sun XX
                      How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

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                        The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

                        Rubes........Shaniqua Lou Pettlebone ???? ROTFLMBO !!!
                        How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                        Comment


                          The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

                          Good morning, my dear family! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas! Mine was the best I ever had! The kids got me so many nice things. I've been packing up all my old things to give to goodwill to make room for all my new stuff! They bought me more tuff than I bought them! Next year we have decided to go on a vacation together instead of gifts that no one needs! Paul bought me a new camera, one that zooms a long way! I haven't quite figured out how to use it yet! My parents even gave us all money! I was so relieved as I have been wondering how I was going to pay the taxes due now. God always provides! I hope everyone has a good week and a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year! I'm off to clean house and get ready for Paul's family to come Fri morning till Mon. I love you all and will catch up with everyone next week. Love you all! Vicki

                          I'm not what I should be, I'm not what I could be. I'm definetly not who I want to be,
                          but I'm sure not who I used to be!

                          There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still.

                          "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME." Phil 4:13

                          Comment


                            The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

                            VICKI - So lovely to see you here - I am happy for you that your Christmas went well - how are you doing? I hope that you are feeling okay? How are your hands? How nice about the new camera - but isn't it a pain trying to sort out how new things work? I just want a 6 year old to come along and explain it all to me - LOL Lovely to see you here again - love and hugs to you my friend,

                            Sun XX
                            How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

                            Comment


                              The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

                              Vicki!! So good to hear you're back. OF COURSE, you're off to clean. GAWS, your house must squeak. Why do you think I kept the lights down when you came to the cabin? :H I'm a nonchalant cleaner - get done what's important in my time alotted and on with the rest.
                              Sun, I :surrender:. You are obviously MUCH younger than me, since the thought of having to go out and work and then get up and work makes me run screaming for my covers. We used to say about a few people at the PO they wouldn't retire till we removed the letters from their cold, dead hands, - that is, till it happened one day. Our work was so physical, constant lifting, moving, exposure to all weather and driving extremes, PLUS, I had to supply my own vehicle. Since my brakes went out almost weekly, Hubs suggested 'why don't you try not using them so much'. DUH!!! I had a minimum of 600 boxes to stop at, along with package deliveries, normal driving. Going back to it is my biggest nightmare (truly, I have nightmares! Like delivering mail in a recliner. :H) So, YOU RULE, OLD LADY! (ER - I mean) YOUNG WOMAN!!!
                              Shaniqua signing out.............
                              sigpic
                              Never look down on a person unless you are offering them a hand up.
                              awprint: RUBY Imagine yourself doing What you love and loving What you do, Being happy From the inside Out, experiencing your Dreams wide awake, Being creative, being Unique, being you - changing things to the way YOU know they can BE - Living the Life you Always imagined.awprint:

                              Comment


                                The Journey begins here so get YOUR ASSES IN GEAR!!!! for december

                                LOL Ruby - my work is physical - constant moving, lifting, etc. - I wear a pedometer just to see how far I walk - some days I only do about 13,000 steps, one day i did 19,000 - on my days off I do about 5000 !! but I don't have the driving and don't have the bad weather that posties have to put up with. So I will let you win..... Hubs works in the BMC - but he did mail carrier for a while so i know what it is like!!

                                Bye for now Shaniqua

                                Love, Sun XX

                                P.S. my house is like Ruby's - keep the lights low - LOL
                                How simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....

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