Moderation Just Isn't Working!

[mama bear]

Moderation Just Isn't Working!

whata fabulous post. All I can say is...everyone is right!!!

[Tipplerette]

Moderation Just Isn't Working!

Wow, what a lot of support and understanding. Last night I had a houseful of drinkers. I did have two or three then switched to lemon water and, eventually herbal tea. So no hangover this morning. BUT ... that's not the point, is it?

The point is that those of us, no matter how severe or small our drinking problem is, SEE it as a problem in our lives. If we see it this way, then, for us, it's a problem.

If it's a problem then we have to deal with it or spend the rest of our lives obsessing, punishing ourselves, promising ourselves, feeling guilty and so forth. That is a huge waste of our valuable time and energy.

So people like me swing from telling myself it's not a big problem and trying to control this problem that's not a big problem.

I don't like the taste, don't like the dehydration, don't like the spaced out feeling, don't like the next morning yucky mouth and head and hate the 4:00 a.m. wake-up that inevitably gets me beating myself up over the 1/2 bottle (I get 2/3 most nights; being a piggy).

UnWasted, I would love to join you in your December A/F thread. My confidence is a little bruised as I have hitched my sail to many a A/F star in the past two years with varying degrees of success.

By the way, the response was so brilliant, informative and right on the money. We are all in some degree of pain with regard to our alcohol consumption or we would not be here. Thank you so much friends.

All the best.

xoxo

[Tipplerette]

Moderation Just Isn't Working!

nancy;1219583 wrote: So are you saying that you feel badly about drinking nightly, even though you are only having a half bottle of wine?
Yes, because I am a little person and 1/2 bottle a night is too much for me.

So you are not getting drunk, but buzzed and feel like it's excessive?
Yup, every day is excessive in my books.

I wonder if it would help you to talk to a doctor about the potential damage to women of that level of drinking?
My doctor says to just stop. period. bit of a nerdy doctor.

Also, I seem to remember you substituting drinking with trampoline jumping. In a way that sounds like fun but in a way it sounds like a punishment that could drive you back to drinking.
Actually I love bouncing; it's hypnotic, meditative and it uses all your muscles with minimal effort. I still think it's a fun substitute... and I am not athletic..

I suggest you think about what alcohol represents to you, a way of unwinding? Then find a substitute. It should be something enjoyable, not a chore. You need to try to find a way of avoiding your triggers, which unfortunately seem to be in your own house. Maybe some of the long-time abstainers have some tips on avoiding the home triggers.
I agree, herbal tea is what I use as a substitute and it is very nice.

I also suggest you try some of the non-alcoholic wines and see if you can fool yourself with it some nights. See if you can find one you like.
I have tried that route with varying success. Good idea because I like the long stemmed glass...

Don't beat yourself up too much. It's clearly a problem but it could be a lot worse. Also, maybe you should chart your drinking and see if it's reduced in the last month from the previous month, and then try to improve on that.

I have reduced since I joined the Pinksters last summer. Very inspirational group. Jason Vale was another positive catalyst in my journey.
When I read my responses, it makes me realize that I am further along on my A/F journey than I was a few years ago when I joined. I am drinking about 2/3 of what I used to.

Slowly and painfully slaying the beast!! I wish I could just lop it's head off LOL...

[Struggles 106]

Moderation Just Isn't Working!

Hey Tip

I was just reading this thread again, interesting.
I notice that you said "when I ALLOW myself to
moderate". Probably more like FORCE yourself
to moderate isn't it?
It was for me because I always wanted more and
more, and the moderation deal is a usually
short-lived mind game to "control" the addiction.
I remember being psyched up about going out
with friends and having 1,2 or 3 beers and thinking
it was cool. This was around spring of this year
Then later in the summer it devolved into madness.
On Sunday I would start with a Bloody Mary at
my favorite Asian place nearby. Then I would go to
the grocery store and figure put what to drink in
the afternoon while smoking pot and playing music.
Of course Saturdays were spent on the couch recovering
from Friday night. There's a dump of a dive bar down the
street where the local drunks hang out. Even they
got sick of my bullshit.
So I had to stop. I wish I could pinpoint the magic
bullet to share it but I guess everyone has their
own personal breaking point.
Good luck and take care. I hope you have a nice
sober Saturday night

[Tipplerette]

Moderation Just Isn't Working!

You're right about forcing oneself to moderate. Last night I just couldn't drink any more as I got dehydrated. Pot and booze don't go together in my books; they both are too dehydrating to do together. If I ever use pot I definitely drink water or tea; not wine.

I am stopping today until at least New Years Eve. I am so sick of my own bullshit and listening to it.

I definitely will be having a sober Saturday night.

Hope you all do too. xoxo