Mama Bear, are you around today? I have some complaints about the security at this apartment complex! Someone broke into my apartment and left acorn shells all over the floor! They also got into my computer and downloaded skwerl porn! Whomever it was also stole my d@mn weave!
Additionally, I refuse to pay this month's rent (which I gambled away playing dice with my peeps by the dumpster two weeks ago) until certain things are addressed here. I want my apartment professionally cleaned, and I would like a new computer. Also, somebody's d@mn weave has been sitting down by the pool drain for two weeks! My neighbor Mish reported that a herd of wild dingoes has been roving around the premises as well.
I await your response with bated breath.
Sincerely,
Fennelicious
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