just want it over

[dove]

I am ready to leave this world. Why didn't I just die last night?

[cuckoosnest83]

just want it over

Dove, that isn't you talking, it is the alcohol. Please take care and know that you are not alone.

[rubywillow]

just want it over

Dove, no, you are NOT ready. Please, tell us what we can do to help you!

[Wally22]

just want it over

Wow, that's grim. Now that it's out of your system. Lets work on getting out of that mood hmmm. Where are you now and what are you doing, aside from posting. Have you got anything warm to drink? Nice cup of tea? Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.:h

[Chillgirl]

just want it over

Dove - its awful to feel this way, i really sympathise as i have been there myself very recently. when i look at why i got so low its usually because I'm dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. Our minds run away with themselves and make up so many stories which scare us shitless. Try to just deal with right now, this moment, usually if I take it is really small chunks I can deal with it. right now its ok, take a deep breath and try to think about something that you feel passionate about, even something really silly. We need to focus on what makes us feel good to be alive. And remember always 'this too shall pass' :l

[dove]

just want it over

On my couch. Crying. I just want this to end. I wish I could not drink too much but I can't. Everytime I say I want to quit to my husband he just rolls his eyes and walks away. If I juoust went to sleep and didn't wake up maybe he would understtand.

[CS04]

just want it over

Dove, you've been around MWO a long time, too; I remember you from way back. I am still struggling too but taking it upon myself to DO SOMETHING NOW. You can too! We'll all hold hands and DO it together.

[RingingCedars]

just want it over

Hang on Dove. I'm not even going to say it's the al talking. I was chatting with my cuz NY Eve--ya just last night--completely sober and we both said we would be ready to meet our Maker--BUT--it is not our call, is it? The Lord alone decides when to call us home. I'm not meaning to be preachy, but I bet most of us can think of several drinking episodes where some entity saved our necks from death. I call it God or Jesus or His Angels. I guess what I'm saying is I bet you have your own episodes. Doesn't it make you wonder why?? There has to be a plan for you my dear. Let's get sober, stay sober and live the life we were supposed to live. No alcohol to mess up the divine plan for each of us. OK??? Start right now and pour out any alcohol, drink some lemon water put some cold cloths to your face, just chill and take it moment by moment. xoxo

[dove]

just want it over

I wish that were the case cs....I wish I had friends here...new town, know no one.....

[Wally22]

just want it over

Dove, can you come to chat? I will meet you there if you like.

[rubywillow]

just want it over

Dove, we are not rolling our eyes. I felt just like you once, and it was hell. If I'd had my wish, I'd have missed out on come of the greatest things in my life. We will help you, not judge you. Drink water, water, water. Take some vitamin B12. And keep talking.
I've lost friends to AL. They always leave the world worse with their loss. You are too important to feel this way.

[RingingCedars]

just want it over

Dove, you'll have to get sober to make real friends. Or find a recovery group to make friends in?? Or you have friends here. Virtual hands and healing calming white light are coming your way.

[dove]

just want it over

Yeah I can chat

[Wally22]

just want it over

Hi Dove
I keep popping in and out of chat, have you gone in? I will pop in and stay for a few minutes this time.:l

[DriftyAlison0]

just want it over

Killing yourself is not the answer. Perhaps going into rehab and getting rid of the AL will wake your husband up. If that doesn't work, then talk to him again. Killing yourself will make it hard on him and everyone else. You need to quit drinking. After he sees you sober and you not drinking, after awhile he will open his eyes.