twisted alcoholic brain

[spuddleduck]

how twisted is my alcoholic brain. a couple of thoughts ive had about a sober life and how twisted the thinking is.
i wont be able to go out and socialize without al.. in reality if i went out i would just hang with drunks who i hav no interest in. other people wouldnt give me the time of day as i was drunk. freinds stopped inviting me out as i was emarrassing

i wont be able to relax.... in reality, other than relieving the craving caused by alcohol, drinking would make me more tense and anxious than ever.

i will be boring..... in reality nothing is more boring than an incoherent drunk.

it really is madness that my twisted mind thinks these things. as shown, i obviously know the reality of the situation yet these thoughts still wash around in my head.

to add to this..if there ever is any pleasure to be had from drinking i wouldnt know about it as i alway drink to blackout and can remember very little from the drinking time.

[Tipplerette]

twisted alcoholic brain

You got that right Spuddle. Our alcohol brains try to glamorize wine, society doesn't help. All the cool people on the sit-coms are sipping drinks, the advertisements make it look like the thing to do so we have to come here to get the real deal. We have all lived the agony of self-loathing, vomiting, blacking out, doing insane things while drunk. That is the reality and I am happy that you see things clearly.

Keep it up. We're all in this together.

[MWOLady]

twisted alcoholic brain

Hi Ducky! You are so right!

How come when I drink and start to slur my words and get red-faced a handsome young man doesn't come up to me and tell me how beautiful and sexy I am like in the ads? Ha ha ha!!!

How come when I get pissed and stupid I'm not surrounded by a crowd of young, good looking, sexy, well dressed people all laughing at my jokes? ha, ha, ha!!!!

How come when I am vomiting into the waste basket in the middle of the night and shitting my panama bottoms, and suffering a pounding migraine because I drank a gallon of vile cheap red wine the night before, my husband doesn't tell me what a wonderful, loving, sexy, wife I am? ha, ha, ha!!!!!

It's all a f..king LIE!!!!!!!! We've got to know the truth. Wine is a lovely gift from nature. It can taste very good, it can make a meal special, it can make special occasions even better - but for some people it is literally poison. We are those people.

I like to think it's just like having an allergy. If I had a peanut allergy, would I go to a party and eat the nuts put out on the bar by the hostess as a treat? Anyway, thanks for starting this thread. It's really got me to think.

[Cinders]

twisted alcoholic brain

In a book I was reading, A Piece of Cake, an AA saying was reiterated:

"Addiction is a disease that tries to convince us we don't have a disease."

It is so true, whether you believe it is a disease or not, we do have a condition that tries to constantly convince us "its not that bad." Especially once we start to feel better after our last foray into the abyss.

Another AA saying: "The further you are from you last drink brings you closer to your next."

I know many here do not like AA but I do think that there is a lot of wisdom in those rooms that we can use.

Cindi

[Unwasted]

twisted alcoholic brain

Spuds, your thinking is right on. Now, you just have to give your body a chance to catch up with your logical mind. You will start feeling better and eventually not want to compromise how fantastic you feel. YOU CAN DO THIS, IT TAKES SOME WORK, JUST KEEP WORKING AT IT. You have lots of support here. The cravings come, but really, they pass pretty quickly. Treat yourself to a nice hot bath with candles, something good to eat, a walk to get fresh air, a show on t.v., a good book.

Sending you strength and peace - hold on to that wisdom. Alcohol does absolutely nothing for us - we've been brainwashed to think it does. I now look at all those glamorous people drinking and think to myself, what a lie!

[spuddleduck]

twisted alcoholic brain

yes there really is a lot of brainwashing. from our earliest memories special occasions are always celebrated with champagne, parties with beer, winding down with a glass of wine. i guess its hardly surprising that so many of us find themselves in the mess we are in. i have been in the 'drinking culture' for such a long time. its important to remember that many people dont drink alcohol and many others drink only on occassion. in our continued drinking we have surrounded ourselves with people in a similar place (albeit maybe not as far down the line as ourselves)
im sure that staying sober is not just a case of not drinking its a case of reviewing and modifying how we live

[Unwasted]

twisted alcoholic brain

Spuds, you are sounding more like a grownup every day Love and hugs.:l

[spuddleduck]

twisted alcoholic brain

Unwasted;1240444 wrote: Spuds, you are sounding more like a grownup every day Love and hugs.:l

whaaaaaat grown up.... surely not.... how can this be. ill ruffle my feathers up and see if i can fly

[Unwasted]

twisted alcoholic brain

:H:H

[rubywillow]

twisted alcoholic brain

Spuds, I love it when you post things like this,because you're not just saying it, you've lived it. The song, Silver-Tongued Devil, is talking about alcohol. That's what it is, wheedling, seducing, changing how we think about life, until we are a slave to it. I remember my grands giving me 'funny looks', as well as people I was around. Years ago I went to a family reunion, drunk, and thought I was hilarious, entertaining. I was OBNOXIOUS! And all my family witnessed it firsthand. Most of them will forgive me, but they'll never forget it. I've had several of them tell me jokingly, they always thought of me as the relative with the most sense. They didn't say it like it was a past tense thought, but it was clear. I let family down, embarrassed them, burned bridges, but there comes a day we have to address ourselves, and say 'Who am I trying to please today?' It shouldn't be anyone else until we're pleased with ourselves. After all, how can someone else love me when I don't love myself? And how can we love ourselves when we continually wake up with self-loathing at our behavior?
Great, thought-provoking post. And just so you know, some of us will NEVER be grownups!! :H

[Unwasted]

twisted alcoholic brain

OK, then, grownup enough to ditch AL,:H

[Struggles 106]

twisted alcoholic brain

Great posts from everyone!

I just wanted to say Spuds that I used to think the same thing about the socializing-I'd be bored, boring and miserable. Well...so far I find that I'm not hanging around drinking. I don't want to drink and I don't see that I have any reason to be around "happy hour" type situations.
I'm not going to beat myself up for not going places I used to go, or playing with my music jam group right now. Things that revolved around alcohol are not for me at this point. More and more days of the week were becoming about drinking. It had to stop.
And Ruby-I know what you mean about the family thing. I used to be utterly ridiculous and hated myself for it. It's just a weird situation that generally noone wants to confront a drunk until things get really really bad. My husband did say to me a few times that I should quit but he never let on how distressing it was. I don't know how he stood it.
SO anyway--everyone stay strong no matter what day of the week it is. Life can be good.

[DriftyAlison0]

twisted alcoholic brain

I go out now and then, and trust me, I still have fun, I still have friends that wants me to come, and best part is that I can remember it all and not regret going out the day after. Its like I can party all the time now if money wasn't an issue. Course I keep my guard up when I go out even these days.

[Boh]

twisted alcoholic brain

It is my friends stag tonight and I totally plan on going! I, for once, want to see everybody else get mangled and be stupid for a change... I'm totally not drinking, only soda water for this cat!

It will be good to get out and socialize. I think it will be fun not to drink as I have done more than my fair share, and when people are getting hammered they won't even notice I'm not drinking...haha

I'm loving life so much right now I'm not going to drink today!

boh

[rubywillow]

twisted alcoholic brain

Ann, DA, Boh, you've found the magic key. We're not denying outselves, we're soberly enjoying ourselves. As I've said before, misery loves company, and when others press us to drink, I believe it's because they don't want to be the only ones making an ass of themselves. Have a ball, it's easier sober, and just shake your head the next day over the ones who get slammed and ridiculous. I'll never put myself in that situation again. Oh, and as far as the family thing, I'm completely honest when someone makes any kind of reference to the way I was. Why deny the obvious? I've found there's a newfound respect from many of them, that I recognized and took action to make myself a better person. The ones who push you may just secretly wish they had your strength. And the ones that don't, well, they have a problem more difficult than yours, but won't face it.
Spuds, love ya, ducky!