Haven't connected

[Hopeful mom]

I don't know how many people who come and go as I have are out there..I have been here so many times for several years. I just haven't found a connection. My story...I log in and talk about how desperate I am...kind people reach out. I work it out or start back drinking and move on. I visit the live chats...try to watch and understand...feel like I'm creeping (as my kid's say when they refer to facebook). I see the amazing friendships that exist and know this is an amazing place...just haven't found my place. Suggestions welcome!

[red67]

Haven't connected

Hi Hopeful Mom. I too feel like you do about making connections here and in real life. I have been lucky to have found my way out of the drinking hell but i still have not figured out how to make real friends yet. I have been used, abused and just plain treated badly by so many people i have reached out to and trusted in my life. I have such a wall built around me now and as hard as i try i dont know how to trust and connect again. I dont really know your story but i can definitely relate to your feelings. I do know that no matter how i feel, drinking never helped. How much do you drink? Does your husband know how you feel? One thing i do is read here everyday to keep me grounded. I do wish i had the friendships that a lot the members have here but number one importance to me right now is my sobriety. My drinking stunted my emotional growth for so long so i can not expect my life to change overnight. All i can do is keep trying. Can you make a commitment to stick around here for awhile? Maybe just read everyday for a month. I really hope to see you here more.

[beagle]

Haven't connected

I think that making connections over the Internet is something that comes easily to some, but not to others.
Hopeful, I just join in conversations & try not to offend anyone, but aside from that I use this place as somewhere to write down what I'm feeling & doing, & not expecting anything in return. I've had some amazing people ring me from the other side of the world, & I use the private messaging, but I'm not geographically close enough to meet many on here.....
It is nice to "meet" you, & if you'd like to get to have a "chat" then just pm me!

[Hopeful mom]

Haven't connected

Thank you Red and Beagle! I actually went 6 days AF until tonight. I am the worst bitch you ever met when I drink... if you push my buttons. Otherwise I am just sweet and slushy! Just don't know when to stop. Don't relate to many of the alcohol withdrawal issues...no shakes or anything when i go for days or weeks. My issue is that my mind tells me that I can drink one or two glasses of wine and stop; and I really can't. Just last week my son was crying and screaming and calling me an "alkie". I am 51 yrs old and got my first DWI in 2010 after my daddy died and my husband lost his job. Excuses, yes....but it has exploded into a problem that I can't overcome. I have ordered Baclofen...I really don't know what I need.

[beagle]

Haven't connected

Hey Hopeful,
I'm not in any position of knowledge to tell you what to do. I know that I have a problem, but my inner self doesn't seem to want to stop. So I KNOW I'm damaging my health, I haven't had any al-related problems, & the most i could manage last year was 6 days also!
I don't have any kids to help you with your son, I'm sorry. Sounds quite difficult.
Just pop back in & talk away, I've found that to be the best way for connections to pop up.

[greeneyes]

Haven't connected

Hi hopeful mom! I'm glad you've come back around again. You say you can't overcome your problem but you know what? Many folks here thought they couldn't and did tackle it. Maybe you can too! The chance of gaining control of your life again is worth the effort. Have you worked out a plan? In fact, have you read the MWO book? That's a good start.

[Hopeful mom]

Haven't connected

Don't really think this is working for me...think I have given it many shots since 2008; just never really put myself out there like I have recently tried. I can't keep coming to this site to see if someone has empathized with me, commented on post, or simply said hello. 80+ views, 5 comments, really doesn't work for me. Best wishes to others

[Nursie]

Haven't connected

Not everyone comments on everyone's stuff. Look at the views vs comments on other posts. Sometimes people are hurting too bad to comment and they just want to read.
I doubt very much it's personal. Why don't you jump in on a daily thread?

[Tipplerette]

Haven't connected

I am in my fifties and wine is my poison. There is no reason we can't connect. I am a Canadian, mother of three grown kids and recently, a Granny. I have had my ups and downs and am working on making January a A/F month. I have not been perfect but have racked up quite a few days. I've decided that when I slip, I just get back on the horse and try again. I don't let one slip ruin the progress I have made over the month. That's too depressing.

Why don't we do this together? The others that replied to you seem to have a similar situation to us. I am not part of any 'gang' here except maybe the Pinksters who are always trying to incorporate healthy eating and exercise in their A/F life. You can find us on the Fitness thread. Most of them are middle aged wine drinkers like us.

Don't give up. Please.

[Enough!]

Haven't connected

Hi!
We have a great group on conquering day 1... I started the thread the past summer and we have new people posting all the time. You are welcome anytime! We are mostly woman, moms, and wine drinkers looking to better ourselves. Very non- judgemental... Like others said just don't stop trying!
Enough!

[Struggles 106]

Haven't connected

Hey hopeful Mom

Jut reading these posts and had a few thoughts. One is that the effect of alcoholism on a child can be profound for various reasons. As a kid of 2 alcoholics and years of therapy later I think I can say a couple things.
Kids need stability, tremendously, and drunkenness is very scary for them. My daughter never saw me drunk until she was 15. And then it was still bad enough.

It seems to me that it's a mind thing. I was exactly like you. I never thought I could do it. I had to change my thinking. I also realized that when I was whining about "trying" I was not really trying. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I had to really work to get through the struggle of the early days.

Only you can decide what and how you want to be. The support here is unconditional. Noone is perfct and you don't have to be. Stay strong and try.

[MWOLady]

Haven't connected

Hi Hopeful. I think maybe the problem is that you started a new thread instead of jumping in on one that is of long standing. I jumped into the Newbies Nest, and the Canadian one and seem to have been sort of accepted. I too want some friendship. Sometimes nobody comments on my posts, and sometimes they do. But I get the satisfaction of putting my thoughts down on "paper" and that helps me clear my head.

So if you do come back to see if anyone has responded, please introduce yourself again on a thread that's been around a while (maybe Newbies Nest?), be patient and you'll fit in in no time. If you'd like to pm me I'd be happy to exchange notes with you. Don't isolate yourself! We really are in the same boat. I'm very lonely too and I feel at home here even though I've not made any "friends" - but I do feel accepted.

Don't disappear!!! We need lots of new people because we need your experience - we need to hear your story, we need you to cheer us on, and we need you so we can cheer you on.

[K9Lover]

Haven't connected

Hi Hopeful,
I just wanted to jump in and say Hi! I know sometimes it can be difficult to make connections, online or in real life. We all have different personalities, and for some it's easier than others. I've noticed that the people on here that seem to "bond" the most are also the most prolific posters, they let us get to know them, and in return we feel like we want them to get to know us too. I'm sorry if you've felt that nobody put forth enough effort. Please know that we are glad to have you here, and would love to get to know you too! I will give you my story in a nutshell: I used to drink 12-14 beers per night for over a decade which resulted in nightly blackouts and daily hangovers. I have had 2 DUI's in the past (over 10 years ago). I have one daughter (14 years old) that has expressed to me her sadness over my drinking many times. When I drink I turn into a complete monster...and I finally decided I don't want to be that person anymore!! I managed to rack up quite a few (257) alcohol free days in 2011, but now my goal is to make 2012 completely alcohol free.
Anyways, I am glad you are here, and I hope you stick around!
K9

[Unwasted]

Haven't connected

Hopeful Mom,

I think what happens here is that people post on a couple of threads and don't always venture out due to time constraints. I just now saw this post.

Please consider posting in the Newbie's Nest - tons of support there. And, it's very active.

:l:l:l:l

[Hopeful mom]

Haven't connected

Thanks everyone! Think I was just angry with myself for drinking after 5 days AF. I know i have to jump in and be consistent as well! As with anything, you get out of it what you put into it. Back on day I but have hope!